Because MTV is the devil’s vagina, the cast of Jersey Shore was of course invited to the VMAs, and I’m going to be frank here: These kids are not the apocalypse. I thought they were. I wrote several posts proclaiming they were, but I realized the other day they’re not. That shit belongs to Teen Mom’s Farrah. Seriously, has anyone watched at least 30 seconds of her talking to her mom? She’s the type of daughter that makes me list hysterectomy as a desirable quality in a mate, if not mandatory.
Did I just write something nice about Jersey Shore? Excuse me while I commit seppuku now for bringing shame to the Internet. BANZAI!
Photos: Getty, WireImage
Fiiirrrst!!!
Did a J-Wow sex tape hit yet? I’d pay money for that, fuck it
Is this fag for real?
Way to suck in to make yourself look lean. I cannot wait until these idiots vanish forever
why why why?
Oompa loompa doompety doo
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don’t like the look of it
oh, and your duckface SUCKS.
who the fuck is watching MTV? everything on that channel is dog shit.
yeah… no shit… but the mom got thrown in jail for smacking the bitch
WTF is that??
I WANT TO PUNCH IT IN THE DUCKLIPS
Quick, get the bug spray!
Either that or a baseball bat…
MTV still shows videos?
Why is that chick orange? And why is that homo flashing his man-titties? does he think people want to see his nipples?
Oompa loompa doompety doo
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don’t like the look of it
HA HA HAAAA RUSH I NEARLY PEED IN MY PANTS.
This guy has a pussy armpit. I wonder if someone licks it.
Heh… Anyone ever noticed how this supposedly ripped guy is just constantly sucking in his stomach and is neither fit nor has well defined muscle tone at all?
If you’re gonna plug these degenerates, could you at least give us some pics of Sammi??? She has the tightest legs on the face of the earth! Otherwise, a forgettable bunch of whores (male and female).
She thinks fake tans look good…. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Is that supposed to be a six pack ?
Can someone point this fat prick to a gym ??
what, is she swishing a load of cum? wouldn’t be surprising…
AHH ! it’s Cecil the turtle head !
The Situation is, you’re gay.
simple and to the point. brilliant.
Gawd damn! Sorry, Snook, there’s no hiding that moustache.
Nice ‘stache Snookums.
Do the boys giggle when it tickles them?
It looks like she needs to wax her upper lip
Nice pudge.
JWoww is sooo pretty! She acts and talks so ghetto though.
FIRST
what a fat fuck!
Dude’s been partying a little too hard lately, his abs ain’t so impressive anymore.
Wtf? What is he showing off – his stomach fat?
Snookie…
Your altogether look here has inspired me to finish up a long suffering script project I had placed on the back burner for the lack of an obvious leading role candidate.
The working title is “Cherokee Sasquatch”.
Have your people call my people.
Fat assed greasy looking oompa loompa. They BOTH look like they stink..
what a fuckin flame. and yeah most the kids on 16 and preg need the fuckin beating of their lives
What an absurd collection of human beings.
Do chicks find this guy attractive?
this guy reminds me of those skinny pricks at the gym who start working out and all of sudden start rolling up their sleeves and shit cuz they think their ripped
NOT ATTRACTIVE AT ALL
I don’t know how anyone finds this retard remotely attractive. Having a six pack doesn’t make up for the rest of your “situation”
He doesn’t have a six-pack.
whatever you want to call it … abs
this guy isnt anything spectacular. he shows his abs like they are amazing. what a fucking cunt. i know peole with way better stomachs.
do you think he does this on purpose or he doesn’t realize how stupid he looks?
do you think he does this on purpose or he doesn’t realize how stupid he looks?
Based on his demeanor on the show, I’d say no. He really thinks he’s God’s gift. If he does indeed realize how stupid he looks, he is one hell of an actor.
Either way, those abs are ready for whenever one of his meathead buddies wanna ride reverse cowboy.
If he’s going to lift up his shirt all the time, he should keep it off. Wait, scratch that suggestion. They just need to go away.
She actually looks “nice”.
Ah hahahah the asshole doesn’t even have a six pack! It also doesn’t appear that he has back muscles not to mention he has chicken legs!
I’m not sure why, but I seriously thought that was corey feldman for a second. until i saw the abs
wow she actually looks gorgeous
yeah, compared to Vinnie’s nut sack maybe
WOW my hero, gets to live with sexy snooki !!
ha ha I spat out candy laughing
Weird belly button.
why is the situation so pasty?
If she had a natural colour of skin and stopped doing duck-face, she would actually look nice here. Her hair dresser did a really good job.
Wait… is that Snooki?
Because I refuse to write that three letter acronym again… http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohan-was-at-the-vmas-09-2010/comment-page-1#comment-4917071
#1 that spray tan is offensive do those people not have mystic tan availible to them???
#2 dumbass, you’re suppose to cut your fake lashes if they’re too long , next time go to the MAC counter so they will do it for you and not CVS, asshole
holy crap, does it really say ‘LITTLE WINKIE” in bold letters on his underwear?
FOR THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY HAD TO LOOK TWICE… LOOKING HOT!