Ha! They Think They’re People

September 13th, 2010 // 85 Comments

Because MTV is the devil’s vagina, the cast of Jersey Shore was of course invited to the VMAs, and I’m going to be frank here: These kids are not the apocalypse. I thought they were. I wrote several posts proclaiming they were, but I realized the other day they’re not. That shit belongs to Teen Mom’s Farrah. Seriously, has anyone watched at least 30 seconds of her talking to her mom? She’s the type of daughter that makes me list hysterectomy as a desirable quality in a mate, if not mandatory.

Did I just write something nice about Jersey Shore? Excuse me while I commit seppuku now for bringing shame to the Internet. BANZAI!

Photos: Getty, WireImage

superficial

  1. Benwa

    Fiiirrrst!!!

  2. Deacon Jones

    Did a J-Wow sex tape hit yet? I’d pay money for that, fuck it

  3. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this fag for real?

    Way to suck in to make yourself look lean. I cannot wait until these idiots vanish forever

  4. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    why why why?

    • Rush

      Oompa loompa doompety doo
      I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you
      Oompa loompa doompety dee
      If you are wise you’ll listen to me
      What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
      Eating as much as an elephant eats
      What are you at, getting terribly fat
      What do you think will come of that

      I don’t like the look of it

  5. Richard McBeef

    who the fuck is watching MTV? everything on that channel is dog shit.

  6. crack in can baby

    yeah… no shit… but the mom got thrown in jail for smacking the bitch

  7. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    George Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is that??

  8. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    George Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I WANT TO PUNCH IT IN THE DUCKLIPS

  9. FunkyFingerProductions

    Quick, get the bug spray!

    Either that or a baseball bat…

  10. Georgeo

    MTV still shows videos?

  11. McFeely Smackup

    Why is that chick orange? And why is that homo flashing his man-titties? does he think people want to see his nipples?

    • Rush

      Oompa loompa doompety doo
      I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you
      Oompa loompa doompety dee
      If you are wise you’ll listen to me
      What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
      Eating as much as an elephant eats
      What are you at, getting terribly fat
      What do you think will come of that

      I don’t like the look of it

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        HA HA HAAAA RUSH I NEARLY PEED IN MY PANTS.
        This guy has a pussy armpit. I wonder if someone licks it.

  12. Mr. Grey

    Heh… Anyone ever noticed how this supposedly ripped guy is just constantly sucking in his stomach and is neither fit nor has well defined muscle tone at all?

  13. Rocky Bushrod

    If you’re gonna plug these degenerates, could you at least give us some pics of Sammi??? She has the tightest legs on the face of the earth! Otherwise, a forgettable bunch of whores (male and female).

  14. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Taz
    Commented on this photo:

    She thinks fake tans look good…. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  15. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Ryan
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that supposed to be a six pack ?

    Can someone point this fat prick to a gym ??

  16. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Rocky Bushrod
    Commented on this photo:

    what, is she swishing a load of cum? wouldn’t be surprising…

  17. stevebeagle

    AHH ! it’s Cecil the turtle head !

  18. Bruce

    The Situation is, you’re gay.

  19. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Sheena
    Commented on this photo:

    Gawd damn! Sorry, Snook, there’s no hiding that moustache.

  20. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    GeneralEmergency
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ‘stache Snookums.

    Do the boys giggle when it tickles them?

  21. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she needs to wax her upper lip

  22. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Tyler
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pudge.

  23. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww is sooo pretty! She acts and talks so ghetto though.

  24. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    FUCKER
    Commented on this photo:

    FIRST

  25. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    chris
    Commented on this photo:

    what a fat fuck!

  26. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Duke Nukem
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude’s been partying a little too hard lately, his abs ain’t so impressive anymore.

  27. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Maggie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wtf? What is he showing off – his stomach fat?

  28. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    GeneralEmergency
    Commented on this photo:

    Snookie…

    Your altogether look here has inspired me to finish up a long suffering script project I had placed on the back burner for the lack of an obvious leading role candidate.

    The working title is “Cherokee Sasquatch”.

    Have your people call my people.

  29. Fat assed greasy looking oompa loompa. They BOTH look like they stink..

  30. what a fuckin flame. and yeah most the kids on 16 and preg need the fuckin beating of their lives

  31. ____

    What an absurd collection of human beings.

  32. Nik

    Do chicks find this guy attractive?

    this guy reminds me of those skinny pricks at the gym who start working out and all of sudden start rolling up their sleeves and shit cuz they think their ripped

  33. crack in can baby

    I don’t know how anyone finds this retard remotely attractive. Having a six pack doesn’t make up for the rest of your “situation”

  34. thisisfakeduh

    this guy isnt anything spectacular. he shows his abs like they are amazing. what a fucking cunt. i know peole with way better stomachs.

  35. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    lol
    Commented on this photo:

    do you think he does this on purpose or he doesn’t realize how stupid he looks?

  36. lol

    do you think he does this on purpose or he doesn’t realize how stupid he looks?

    • duke chute

      Based on his demeanor on the show, I’d say no. He really thinks he’s God’s gift. If he does indeed realize how stupid he looks, he is one hell of an actor.
      Either way, those abs are ready for whenever one of his meathead buddies wanna ride reverse cowboy.

  37. brit boys are cool

    If he’s going to lift up his shirt all the time, he should keep it off. Wait, scratch that suggestion. They just need to go away.

  38. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks “nice”.

  39. Hole Filler

    Ah hahahah the asshole doesn’t even have a six pack! It also doesn’t appear that he has back muscles not to mention he has chicken legs!

  40. dj tee

    I’m not sure why, but I seriously thought that was corey feldman for a second. until i saw the abs

  41. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    robz
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she actually looks gorgeous

  42. Marcus

    WOW my hero, gets to live with sexy snooki !!

  43. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    L
    Commented on this photo:

    Weird belly button.

  44. J

    why is the situation so pasty?

  45. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    L
    Commented on this photo:

    If she had a natural colour of skin and stopped doing duck-face, she would actually look nice here. Her hair dresser did a really good job.

  46. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Chimaera
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait… is that Snooki?

  47. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    Robin
    Commented on this photo:

    #1 that spray tan is offensive do those people not have mystic tan availible to them???
    #2 dumbass, you’re suppose to cut your fake lashes if they’re too long , next time go to the MAC counter so they will do it for you and not CVS, asshole

  48. Bunny Foofoo

    holy crap, does it really say ‘LITTLE WINKIE” in bold letters on his underwear?

  49. Jersey Shore at the 2010 VMAs
    court
    Commented on this photo:

    FOR THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY HAD TO LOOK TWICE… LOOKING HOT!

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