Gwyneth Paltrow is fat

gwyneth-paltrow-pregnant.jpgWhoa, look how fat Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten recently. Must be all those fish and chips. Oh, that’s right, she’s pregnant. Nevermind. She keeps talking about how much she loves being a mom, but if she loved that baby so much then why did she eat him? She also seems to be laughing – maybe someone told a joke about how fat and stupid americans are, since she always enjoys that. You know what I’d enjoy? Switching her baby with a monkey at birth and then trying to convince her that it’s retarded. And that the best way to breast-feed him would be to paint her boobs like bananas.