Gwyneth Paltrow is fat
Whoa, look how fat Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten recently. Must be all those fish and chips. Oh, that’s right, she’s pregnant. Nevermind. She keeps talking about how much she loves being a mom, but if she loved that baby so much then why did she eat him? She also seems to be laughing – maybe someone told a joke about how fat and stupid americans are, since she always enjoys that. You know what I’d enjoy? Switching her baby with a monkey at birth and then trying to convince her that it’s retarded. And that the best way to breast-feed him would be to paint her boobs like bananas.