Gwyneth Paltrow Will Grace You With Her Stomach Now

September 19th, 2011 // 31 Comments

After whatever governing body saw fit to grant her a Creative Arts Emmy for her Glee cameo, you know the one Lindsay Lohan tried to sue over, Gwyneth Paltrow decided to grace us, the little people, with a glimpse of her midriff, presumably glistened and moistened ever so softly from fairies she picked in her free-range basil garden then squeezed before drying them out in her closet. They say if you look at the torso of GOOP through a hole made from handmade, organic parchment paper, a silver farthing appears in your pocket making you slightly less poor for one single moment. Afterward, Gwyneth’s butler will remove you with a snow plow along with the other riff-raff and eaters of canned cheese.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    The dress is good.
    What’s in it….not so much.

  2. Weirdo

    I’d still hit it. I’d just piss all over her afterwards!

  3. Can we have pictures of Sofia Vergara? She looked so amazing last night.

  4. Honestly? I’d still hate fuck the Coldplay right out of her.

  5. direchef

    For someone who farts angel breath, she’s getting a little risque.

  6. chris

    i just threw up in my mouth. oh, lemme guess – she saved someone from death as they crashed into a light pole while being appalled by whats in that dress..

  7. Gwyneth Paltrow Stomach Emmys
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You see that from behind and think “Damn, what a hot blonde” but then she turns around and you see GOOP.
    Life is full of fucking disappointments.

  8. I want to feel insulted by the obvious jab at manipulating my libido with the faux see-through effect, but I’m being distracted by how hard I’d hit it.

  9. OK

    Did anyone else finger their TV when this cunt came onstage last night?

  10. Gwyneth Paltrow Stomach Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s see…if I stepped on Paz de la Huerta’s dress and a wardrobe malfunction ensued, would anyone really think it was my fault?”

  11. Gwyneth Paltrow Stomach Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and one last head-bob for the cameras so I don’t have to talk to this poor person.”

  12. MJB

    Did she get a breast lift? I thought her boobs would be down to her midriff by now. I remember when she presented at the 2002 Oscars. *Shudders*

  13. Mr Nice Guy

    Sexiest flat women out there.

  14. Grand Dragon

    Her gut looks like a large ziploc bag full of Elmer’s glue.

  15. Frank Burns

    Does her husband EVER go with her to any events?

  16. Gwyneth Paltrow Stomach Emmys
    He has a brother?
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she ran out of a fortune telling wearing the table cloth and curtain. She’s beautiful though. Weird choice. The midriff fringe looks like a bad photoshop somehow.

  17. Loathe

    I think she looks stunning. Oh God, I hate myself so much for admitting that.

  18. Gwyneth Paltrow Stomach Emmys
    Hugh Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t really care how snooty and privileged she is, my penis needs to be in her, alot.

  19. forrest gump


  20. Richard McBeef

    I’d stick my vase of hydrangeas down on that flat, doily covered surface.

  21. Simple Sister

    Her hair is still very thin , but this looks better than the last posts . Problem isn’t so much with her exterior , but her narcissistic tendencies . I have met her socially , and my take is that she’s a mass of insecurities, which causes her to compensate by her pseudo – hip pseudo persona . She is not who she seems to be . I’ve seen under the mask …..

    • Jersey Torch

      I’ve heard from industry crew people that she is very insecure too. Also that she was very sheltered by her parents so she’s a bit out of touch. (Marie Antoinette)

      I’ve been told on set she complains, whines, but at the same time has a cunning ability to charm the right people to get what she wants. In short she’s a big baby.

  22. Why the hell did they even let her on Glee. Is she maybe transgendered?

  23. lily

    awful outfit, not flattering to her body at all…she is super fit and lean from doing all that yoga and whack tracy anderson work outs, but this dress makes her look shapeless.

  24. alice

    That is a HORRIBLE outfit. What the hell was her stylist thinking? It’s completely wrong for her body shape, makes her look like she has no waist at all. I’ve seen trannies look better than this.

  25. Tootles

    Dumb bitch is trying to look sexy and edgy, she’s about as sexy as boiled broccoli. Can’t stand this pretentious cunt.

  26. KM

    The Superficial will never forgive Chris Brown for beating the shit out of his girlfriend (nor should they), Jennifer Love for pre-selecting her engagement rings (I get that, too) and Paltrow for saying she can’t live without hand-painted wallpaper and hates canned cheese (why should they, she does seem like a cunty little bitch!).

    I love this blog so much.

  27. Ruth

    I love Gwyneth and this entry made me LOL. Good on ya Fish.

  28. The only thing missing is the black bar over her eyes.

  29. EMINEM21314


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