Gwyneth Paltrow Hangs Upside Down In Cocoons

If there’s one thing I love most about Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s her everyday solutions to diet and exercise. Solutions like staving off death by dangling from the ceiling of your friends’ hammock studio/cocoon menagerie like a goddamn moth. Via Jezebel:

Speaking about her experience, 40-year-old Gwyneth wrote: ‘We spent an afternoon in Richard Holroyd’s intimate studio that houses four AntiGravity Hammocks – basically a hammock made of silk that you can lie, hang, stretch in and more.
‘At first, we just got used to being in the swing – part of what makes it so special is the sense of suspension.
‘Then Richard showed us several moves with the hammock. In comparison to other yoga classes, the moves felt constructive without feeling like a chore.’

“Even better,” GOOP wrote, “I placed a spool of silk thread into my lady-anus and proceeded to unravel it like a beautiful silkworm unburdening herself in ways Chris Martin will never compete. I then wove a pashmina from it and sold the design to a Paris fashion house for a paltry million. (Parisians!) Later, I found the factory of my now competitor and shat on each of his orphan workers for a remarkable cleanse. I encourage every mom to try it.”

Photos: Splash News