Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin make it an almost comical point to never be photographed together because it makes it really hard for him to bang groupies without being able to go, “When have you ever seen us together? See? Separated.” Even more surprising, they took their precious spawn Gaspard and Lisa to a Toys ‘R Us (In America!) like sorry sacks of shits from Buttfucksylvania. I could’ve sworn Gwyneth’s children only played with the finest handcrafted of toys culled from Napoleon’s personal collection of rare pewter figures. “It’s so darling watching little Moses make his soldiers invade Poland. Why I just laugh and laugh and lay out strips of albino tiger meat for gluten-free bald eagle jambalaya and laugh some more. Oh, and Apple plays with them too ’cause she’s a dyke.”
Photos: Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI
Chris Martin is a song thief and a douche.
Whose song did he steal?
Joe Satriani’s.
Real quick: Why does Chris Martin always dress like a 13-year-old?
Gaspard dresses him.
To get to the other side!
Gaspard and Lisa XD
F’kin classic.
No, darling. More condescension in your voice when ordering around the peasants. Now, about making ridiculous comments in the media…
WAIT – Oh snap! Are … are those PLASTIC bags?!? Ooooo, guuuurrrl!
ooo gurl that made me LOL way too much XD
Is Apple sucking her thumb? How OLD is she?
Why is the girl sucking her thumb? Isn’t she a little old for that??
Because her mother is Gwyneth Paltrow and her father is Chris Martin, that’s why.
She’s sucking her thumb cause her Mommy told her it was a silver spoon.
Good for them — they’re looking like every other white trash family who dresses like this.
Oh look, the Lannisters went to the store.
Oh no! Does this mean Apple and Moses are going to be each other’s first dates???!
“Look love, I know I’m not John Hamm, but look at my shoulders…they’re broad. Very broad. Almost too broad. Fuck.”
It’s always so sweet of them to associate with the common rabble, so we don’t feel left out.
Can you ease up on your writing superficial? Apple… “blah, blah, blah” “because she’s a dike!”
REALLY!
No you do not get to write this shit, ever. As a mother of a full grown lesbian daughter… you don’t get to label a little girl like that, and in labeling, also hurt other grown little girls. Which your writing does. Check it. Clean it up. Usually I like you better. But I will totally stop coming to your page (* and so will my minions) if you are gonna start breaking rules.
“Fish Sticks” Paltrow should be left in peace to raise her kids. Nothing wrong with anyone shopping at toys r us… They have horrible prices… sure… but if you love your kids you let them go to the candy shop occasionally even if you’re gonna have to brush their teeth later. Again, SHAME ON YOU!
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/26/018-340_227.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/26/018-1-340_227.jpg[/img]
May I ask, whats with a woman holding a chicken? Chick-fil-A ?
I think she’s getting ready to put that big, red cock in her mouth…
what’s with the picture of the girl playing with her cock?
That’s a picture of her (Phoenix, that is).
I love your music, Phoenix!
“clean it up” really? clearly you don’t come to this site, ever.
fish just might be referencing when gwyneth called her own daughter a lesbian.
He’s repeating comments that Gwyneth made about her own daughter. She said she’d been saving all her couture clothes for Apple but with her luck she’d grow up to be a butch lesbian and not be interested. For serious, google it.
Suddenly Chris, Gwyneth, and Apple realize other people could see them.
This is what happens when you send your husband to the store and he comes back with a no-name “Kloak of Invisibility”.
He may be the lead singer of a band but I know who is the “bitch” in that family, word!
Two adults, and two mini me’s.
A little old to be sucking her thumb?
Family of Douche gets beaten in Toy R U parking lot…if only.
Those are some odd-looking kids. Just a little.
Damn good hair transplant. Jealous
“Valet, bring our vehicle…AT ONCE!”
I bet they’re a family who get through a lot of toilet roll. Gold plated toilet roll obviously…
They’re still married? Wow.
what a sad bunch of haters,,, were you all done posting racist comments about the President ? perhaps you could spend your time searching for your own validity or have you already wasted that hour to no avail? are celebrities supposed to never go outside or do normal things with their kids? from the nasty comments I would hope that none of you go out in public and further pollute the landscape. Those children are NOT public fodder for shits like you.
Apple sucking her thumb at what age? Nice job parenting you douchebags. God I hate them.
“Son, wouldn’t you like to sing some Coldplay songs, just like daddy?”
“Hahahaha . . . oh sorry dad, didn’t know you were being serious.”