Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Were Photographed Together. Avert Your Eyes, Peasants!

October 26th, 2012 // 40 Comments
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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin make it an almost comical point to never be photographed together because it makes it really hard for him to bang groupies without being able to go, “When have you ever seen us together? See? Separated.” Even more surprising, they took their precious spawn Gaspard and Lisa to a Toys ‘R Us (In America!) like sorry sacks of shits from Buttfucksylvania. I could’ve sworn Gwyneth’s children only played with the finest handcrafted of toys culled from Napoleon’s personal collection of rare pewter figures. “It’s so darling watching little Moses make his soldiers invade Poland. Why I just laugh and laugh and lay out strips of albino tiger meat for gluten-free bald eagle jambalaya and laugh some more. Oh, and Apple plays with them too ’cause she’s a dyke.”

Photos: Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    Chris Martin is a song thief and a douche.

  2. catapostrophe

    Real quick: Why does Chris Martin always dress like a 13-year-old?

  3. Gaspard and Lisa XD
    F’kin classic.

  4. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    No, darling. More condescension in your voice when ordering around the peasants. Now, about making ridiculous comments in the media…

  5. WAIT – Oh snap! Are … are those PLASTIC bags?!? Ooooo, guuuurrrl!

  6. annaloo.

    Is Apple sucking her thumb? How OLD is she?

  7. Fay

    Why is the girl sucking her thumb? Isn’t she a little old for that??

  8. Good for them — they’re looking like every other white trash family who dresses like this.

  9. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look, the Lannisters went to the store.

  10. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    jonesy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look love, I know I’m not John Hamm, but look at my shoulders…they’re broad. Very broad. Almost too broad. Fuck.”

  11. EricLr

    It’s always so sweet of them to associate with the common rabble, so we don’t feel left out.

  12. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you ease up on your writing superficial? Apple… “blah, blah, blah” “because she’s a dike!”
    REALLY!
    No you do not get to write this shit, ever. As a mother of a full grown lesbian daughter… you don’t get to label a little girl like that, and in labeling, also hurt other grown little girls. Which your writing does. Check it. Clean it up. Usually I like you better. But I will totally stop coming to your page (* and so will my minions) if you are gonna start breaking rules.
    “Fish Sticks” Paltrow should be left in peace to raise her kids. Nothing wrong with anyone shopping at toys r us… They have horrible prices… sure… but if you love your kids you let them go to the candy shop occasionally even if you’re gonna have to brush their teeth later. Again, SHAME ON YOU!
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/26/018-340_227.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/26/018-1-340_227.jpg[/img]

  13. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly Chris, Gwyneth, and Apple realize other people could see them.

  14. He may be the lead singer of a band but I know who is the “bitch” in that family, word!

  15. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Two adults, and two mini me’s.

  16. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    NoNoNancy
    Commented on this photo:

    A little old to be sucking her thumb?

  17. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Booker Mustafa
    Commented on this photo:

    Family of Douche gets beaten in Toy R U parking lot…if only.

  18. Sliver

    Those are some odd-looking kids. Just a little.

  19. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Elton J.
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn good hair transplant. Jealous

  20. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    “Valet, bring our vehicle…AT ONCE!”

  21. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet they’re a family who get through a lot of toilet roll. Gold plated toilet roll obviously…

  22. Hawk

    They’re still married? Wow.

  23. honeybee

    what a sad bunch of haters,,, were you all done posting racist comments about the President ? perhaps you could spend your time searching for your own validity or have you already wasted that hour to no avail? are celebrities supposed to never go outside or do normal things with their kids? from the nasty comments I would hope that none of you go out in public and further pollute the landscape. Those children are NOT public fodder for shits like you.

  24. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Commented on this photo:

    Apple sucking her thumb at what age? Nice job parenting you douchebags. God I hate them.

  25. Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Toys R Us
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Son, wouldn’t you like to sing some Coldplay songs, just like daddy?”

    “Hahahaha . . . oh sorry dad, didn’t know you were being serious.”

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