Gwyneth Paltrow Made The ‘Iron Man 3′ Premiere All About Gwyneth Paltrow. Of Course.

“I did have my vagina varnished in Tuscany. Thank you for noticing.”

Judging by early reviews, Iron Man 3 not only makes up for Iron Man 2, but is a well-crafted ending to Robert Downey Jr.‘s tenure as Tony Stark thanks to writer/director Shane Black. Except none of that has to do with Gwyneth Paltrow, so she showed up to the Hollywood premiere last night flaunting her “22-year-old stripper ass” in a see-through dress because have you not heard? She’s the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. A periodical read by unwashed housewives said so. Oh, what’s that, Gwyneth? You thought People was the bourgeois magazine of choice? There are copies at my dentist’s office, and he doesn’t even speak French. You wear a tainted crown! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

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