Gwyneth Palrow Is Done With The MET Gala

May 9th, 2013 // 15 Comments
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Gwyneth Paltrow may have been all smiles on the MET Gala red carpet, but you see that’s her gift as an actress, for deep in her gluten-free heart she was actually quite bored and stifled from the heat. Were there not beautiful Venetian albino children available to cool her with raptor feathers? One calculates such a thing would be quite necessary. Quite necessary indeed. USA Today reports:

“I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all,” says Paltrow.

Of course, methinks the Duchess Paltrow had another reason to never return which she’s neglected to speak of. Perhaps there was something different from previous years. Something that had no business being there yet was forever besmirching all those in attendance. If only I could put my finger on it, or maybe cover it with an afghan and some decorative throw pillows. Just give me a minute, it’ll come to me.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Everyone present at the MET Gala can DIAF of extraordinary magnitude.

    Except Kate Upton, who would be spared so someone could tell of the horrors.

  2. Cock Dr

    OMG perspiration outside of the physical fitness workout is SO disgusting.
    GOOP could not take the red carpet bovine heat generated by Kim Kow Kardashian.
    That long sleeved high necked hot pink disaster she wore didn’t help. Those flapjacks need air flow to stay comfy.

  3. Gwyneth Paltrow Legs Short Shorts Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t the title of her cookbook be “Meals I have seen eaten by other people”?

  4. emma watson's Vagina

    well at least she has good legs.

  5. Gwyneth Paltrow Legs Short Shorts Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    She have BEAUTIFUL legs! Nice firm thighs.

  6. ss

    She saw kim there… her hard work was crushed. The end

  7. What an ungrateful cunt!

  8. AnitaC24

    KK’s monstrosity contained enough material to outfit the entire Von Trapp family! Of course, Goopy was hot and bothered with the porn princess in proximity. God save the queen!

  9. I wouldn’t want to go back to any place Kim Kardashian has been to either.

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