Guess Who’s Out of Rehab

Lindsay Lohan has officially been released from rehab and walks freely among us now, according to sources for RadarOnline. Based on UCLA’s diagnosis that she’s not a drug-addicted alcoholic, it’s more than likely she’s also free of the SCRAM bracelet, so it’s literally more than a matter of minutes until she’s falling face-first into a gutter outside Marmont as Samantha Ronson sprouts leathery wings to fly them to Abusive Lesbian Land. God, it’s a great day to be alive unless you live in LA.

Photo: Pacific Coast News