Guess Whose Lawyer Lied About Her Being In Rehab?

May 3rd, 2013 // 27 Comments
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“Arrest warrant? Aw, that’s adorable, muah, that’s for you Cali!”

Posted by Photo Boy

Yesterday Lindsay Lohan‘s lawyer put on a display of legal maneuvering I believe the Romans once called “a tremendous pile of bullshit” by not only lying about his client’s whereabouts, but also convincing the judge to let her go to an unlicensed treatment facility. While that was going down as Lindsay was supposed to be entering rehab, in reality she was out shopping and begging for old lawyer to come back. TMZ:

So Lindsay and her team spent the better part of Thursday convincing Holley to come back on board. And, we’ve learned, clearly a glutton for punishment, Holley agreed.

Supposedly Lindsay never wanted to go to Morningstar, the unlicensed rehab, but was convinced by her lawyer, according to sources I’m assuming are her “team.” I’m not positive that’s the correct term for a cocaine dealer and johns, but wow, are her excuses ridiculous. Anyway, now she’s at Betty Ford again, where she’s already attacked the staff during a previous stint, and her old lawyer, Shawn Holley, has convinced prosecutors not to issue an arrest warrant for violating the terms of her plea deal. I know this shit is complicated and for those of you out there who aren’t fans of reading don’t worry, this is all covered in my soon to be released documentary Blowback: How The State Of California Descended Into Chaos Because Of One Insatiable Throat.


  1. cc

    You have to give it to hand it to her…when it comes to making a mockery of the law she has no equal.

  2. “Whose”, not “who’s”… I’m going to be grammar police here.

  3. tlmck

    The government supposedly has a prison hidden deep within a mountain somewhere. Lindsay should be sent there and then somebody should lose the papaerwork forever. Of course there would be overcrowding in rehab facilities for a while with all the entertainment reporters suffering Lindsay withdrawal.

  4. Kate

    Can we all just agree to ignore this waste of space until she OD’s, goes away or, in an unlikely turn of events, gets clean? Please?

  5. Alisha

    Why do you think I’m moving the hell out of California to Berlin?

    • As a third generation native Californian let me state that you’ll be sorely missed. Yeah, right! Don’t let the door slap you in the ass on your way out.

  6. Cock Dr

    She seems to have Keith Richards endurance and the luck of a leprechaun.
    Some days I hope that she’ll pull off a recovery miracle but this morning is not one of them. Want her locked up in a genuine penitentary for a long long long time.

    • thegrouchomarxist

      It’s a little premature to judge if Lindsay has the “endurance” of Keith Richards. She’ll have to survive another 40+ years for us to know that. I don’t see it happening.

      • Cock Dr

        IMO sucking gin straight from the Lohan tit probably = Keith Richards endurance.
        You’re right though…it’s a long race…pull up a comfy chair.

  7. Dina Lohan

    This whole legal circus is going on because the haters of angelic Lindsay are jealous of her incredible talents and jealous of her unmatched beauty and are especially jealous of angelic Lindsay’s innocent purity. The courts are aware that there is a cabal out there seeking the persecution of angelic Lindsay, and the courts will have no part in it!

    • Archangel Linds

      Right! Now flap out them gin tits, ma, I’m feelin the DTs comin on!

      C’mon! C’mon! Linds is thirsty!

  8. Lindsay Lohan John John Clothing Store Opening Brazil
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay knows how to work the Mojo.One breath of cocaine makes that person who inhales do anything Lindsay says.
    Just killed a Hobo, and then inhale that breath, “Yes a misunderstanding, off you go! “

  9. How nice it must be for Ms. Lohan to be back at the Betty Ford Clinic since she already knows where she can jump the fence, where the local bars are located, and who to score from in the neighborhood. It’s her perfect rehab.

  10. The positive side of this story is the validation that the California court system isn’t a complete and utter joke.

    Oh sorry, actually I read that wrong. The California court system is in fact a complete and utter joke.

  11. It’s all but certain this bitch is mutating in front of our eyes. To what, I’m not so sure.

  12. cc

    I can’t believe how unfair the world is. She gets away with this shit. Meanwhile, I go to martial arts to unwind this afternoon and someone hoofs me in the bag.

  13. She qualifies for all three...

    The Bible says God looks out for children, drunks, and fools.

  14. I’m astounded that her “team” was able to suck (no pun intended) Shawn Holley back into this debacle. Did someone sign over their house to cover the retainer? Did Ms. Holley agree to work pro bono? Let’s see how long this lasts…

    • “I wish I could get Shawn to work ‘pro bono’ for me like Mark does. Except of course she’s a woman, so she doesn’t get bonos.”

  15. A documentary? I hope for once your not kidding, cause I would watch the hell out of that!

  16. Lindsay Lohan John John Clothing Store Opening Brazil
    Commented on this photo:

    “Blow” is just the name that its called. You don’t actually blow it.

  17. Alex

    It’s not complicated at all. The legal system in the U.S. has evolved to have so many loopholes for the rich that it’s almost impossible for them to have any consequences for their sociopathic actions as they rape the world’s resources.

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