And now for the feel good story of the day. Gwyneth Paltrow‘s infamous lifestyle website apparently isn’t the golden organic goose that lays renewable gilded Faberge eggs into a repurposed compost chateau we were led to believe. Peasants lies, we were told. Filthy, filthy peasant lies. Served with canned cheese. Radar reports:
It’s not that GOOP wasn’t making money. In fact, in 2012, they raked in more than $1.5 million (£908,378), thanks in part to $463,486 (£276,040) in product sales, as well as an impressive (£222,243) from Groupon promotions and $373,159 (£535,002) in commissions. All told, the company made $1,893,065 (£1,127,456).
But that same year, GOOP spent $98,150 (£58,456) on Goop.com, $79,961 (£47,623) on the notorious GOOP newsletter, $189,590 (£112,918) on product costs, and a whopping $1,564,995 (£932,096) in administrative expenses,” adding up to the grand profit total of a loss of $39,823 (£23,718).
As for who was getting the biggest slice of this beggar’s pie? Madame Paltrow herself, and her naturally British CEO Sebastian Bishop:
Chief among those “administrative expenses” were Paltrow and CEO Sebastian Bishop’s “renumeration,” or salaries, for which the company allotted $587,653.25 (£350,000), a sizable increase from the previous year’s figure of $172,585 (£102,788), despite the company’s losses.
The documents also show that in 2012, both Paltrow and Bishop were the recipient of interest-free “loans to directors,” with Paltrow’s listed at a balance of $49,025 (£29,200), of which none was paid back, and Bishop’s at $83,617 (£49,800).
Paltrow and Bishop’s report had an excuse, insisting, “As the company started product sales in June 2012, the directors are of the opinion that predicted profits will provide sufficient resources to enable the company to continue trading for the foreseeable future.”
The continued existence of GOOP, it seems, would depend upon it, since the report noted that in addition to the losses, the company owed creditors more than $1.2 million (£722,111), all of which would come due by the end of 2013.
When asked why she hadn’t repaid the loan from GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow said the website smelled of chimney sweeps which made the conditions of her repayment null and void. Later, her attorney would say that Ms. Paltrow recently miscarried, and those words can’t be held against in her court of law. He then vanished in a poof of smoke per his training at Hogwarts at Gwyneth’s insistence. “A muggle representing my affairs? I’ll shag a bloody lemon merchant first,” were her exact words.