GOLDEN GLOBES: Holy Shit, Jodie Foster’s Gay?!

Jodie Foster being gay has always been one of the worst kept secrets of Hollywood, not to mention she already came out years ago. But apparently everyone, including Jodie, was shit-faced last night and forgot because the entire Internet splooshed its boatman over her Golden Globes speech that once you watch it, doesn’t really come off as a loud-and-proud coming out moment as much as a depressing, post-break-up cry for pity sex that I think we can all agree was aimed at Taylor Swift. No, really, it’s a miracle it doesn’t end with her going, “So, I hear you like antiques…” while pointing at her breasts. That’s how obvious it was.

Photos: Getty