GOLDEN GLOBES: Holy Shit, Jodie Foster’s Gay?!

January 14th, 2013 // 34 Comments

Jodie Foster being gay has always been one of the worst kept secrets of Hollywood, not to mention she already came out years ago. But apparently everyone, including Jodie, was shit-faced last night and forgot because the entire Internet splooshed its boatman over her Golden Globes speech that once you watch it, doesn’t really come off as a loud-and-proud coming out moment as much as a depressing, post-break-up cry for pity sex that I think we can all agree was aimed at Taylor Swift. No, really, it’s a miracle it doesn’t end with her going, “So, I hear you like antiques…” while pointing at her breasts. That’s how obvious it was.

Photos: Getty


  1. Wait. she’s GAY? So all those nights I spent fapping to “Contact” were a lie?

  2. judgingyou

    I don’t want attention but let me coyly play the gay card again – Jodie Foster, Golden Globes.

    I still can’t figure out if she was retiring in that speech.

  3. Crysalt

    She looks great!

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think she looks really beautiful here!
      And yes. I’ve known she was gay for about 35 years.
      Don’t ask me how I know that….

  4. “… I think we can all agree was aimed at Taylor Swift.”

    Dude i asked the whole wide internet and nobody has any idea what makes you think she’d have the hots for that talentless homely onepercenter brat.
    On that note, we all agreed that nobody with a functional sex organ has the hots for that talentless homely onepercenter brat.

  5. Jodie Foster 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “I eat beaver with fava beans and a nice chianti.”

  6. BSName

    … and in other ground breaking shocking news.
    Jewish people go to church on Saturdays only they dont call it church they call it synagogue !

    • …This just goes to prove how far-out of touch celebrities have truly become with reality.

      Everyone on the planet– even indigenous tribes in Tasmania who have no technologies, no indoor plumbing, and still use tree leafs to cover-up their private parts know Jodie Foster is a lesbian–yet Jodie herself perceived it to be top-secret matters of national security.

      The root word in celebrity is celebration–meaning people who should be celebrated.

      I propose we exchange “celebrity” those who should be celebrated to– “celebrity” those who don’t have a smidgen of a clue.

      • M-zer

        I totally forgot about it, but only because Jody is so out of the limelight most of the time and does not have any behaviors which remind you of it.

  7. zomgbie

    poor mel.
    bet he’s smoked through 5 cartons of cigarettes since jodie’s speech.

  8. Well there goes my plan to impress the shit out of her by punching Joe Biden in his nutsack.

  9. cc

    She’s put in some fine performances but last night I really don’t know what she was blabbering about. She sounded like someone mid-stroke.

  10. Hugh Evers

    The speech was a self indulgent collection of rambling nothingness that seemed to only benefit her. It would have been perfect disclosure for her therapist, who then could have persuaded Jodie to never utter a word of the cringe-inducing incoherence to anyone outside the office, in order to alleviate the implied message that she is batshit crazy.

    • M-zer

      It wasn’t just could’ve used some work in coherence level. What she tried to say was that she just wanted to live an ordinary life with equal gay rights, but it sort of came out as though she didn’t want to really do it.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs

    Well the only thing I know is lesbians can’t take no dick.

  12. Jim

    Anybody who is surprised by this stuck their head in the sand. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but everything about her screams lesbian.

  13. archie bunker

    It would have been way more shocking if some Hollywood actor (male or female) had gotten up and confessed to being straight!

  14. Jodie Foster 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looked amazingly fit but she kind of lost me with her little speech. I wish she’d just come out and said the actual words. Good on her though.

  15. nowliveit

    I am happy that she felt safe enough to come out. i had wondered over the years…BUT
    WTF? NBC!!!!
    When she was thanking a woman (maybe her partner) you did not pan to film her. You did pan the table several times but it seemed to not catch everyone.
    Any straight actor mentioning a spouse in that special award would have had the cameras focused on the spouse.

  16. Jodie Foster 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t she come out a decade ago?

  17. Elf

    She’s gay!?! What’s next? That Lance Armstrong used dope when winning Tour de France?!?! Oh, the humanity.

  18. halfcocked

    Let’s just hope that Jessica Biel heard the dog whistle.

  19. Jodie Foster 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks a lot like Helen Hunt, here.

  20. And John Hinckley does a major facepalm…

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