Is Gisele Bundchen Having Octuplets? Jesus Christ

November 5th, 2012 // 60 Comments

If Alessandra Ambrosio has taught me anything, it’s that pregnancy involves never gaining an ounce of weight for nine months and then a beautiful baby instantly materializes out of your stomach with absolutely zero structural damage. (Unless you’re Jessica Simpson and eat the instruction manual without reading it.) Except here’s Gisele Bundchen in Miami yesterday looking like Kate Gosselin when she had an entire sweat shop in her because apparently when the Patriots say they’re going to “rebuild next season,” they’re not fucking around.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN


  1. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    For the cost of a cup of coffee, you could help save a supermodel.

  2. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 9 months pregnant, Fish.

    It is quite amazing that you can’t tell she has that big belly (or an ass for that matter) from behind.

  3. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s nothing; you should see *my* tummy.

  4. I think the physical appearance of pregnant women can put the whole “intelligent design” discussion to rest now.

  5. LT

    Make her stomach twice as big, throw a sunburn, gold chain, and some hair on it and she could be any one of a number of guys I see at every beach.

  6. poopy

    I’m extremely jealous of women who don’t get stretch marks. I’ve never been pregnant, but if I were, I’d probably get stretch marks.

  7. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    The pop-up timer says to take the turkey out of the oven.

  8. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gonna give birth to “The Brady Bunch”.

  9. mismy

    Oh Fish are you intentionally trying to make your penis forever lonely with this article?? lol when the feminists arrive

    • WOW

      Feminists can all die in a fire.

    • I think you can be a 21st-century feminist and still have a sense of humor and let a little good-natured sarcasm slide (especially if it’s funny). Let’s not forget, Fish scores a lot of goodwill points when he gets all political and stands up for the rights of vaginas to be free.

      • mismy

        lol TomFrank, I agree! Sticks & stones may break my bones, whatever, but every time Fish goes after pregnant women he gets mauled by the feminists, and in this post he made fun of a few preggo ladies at once, it was funny

      • Shoebacca

        ‘Mauled my feminists?’ Really? I’d love to be around the day that Fish figures out where he really came from. Yep, Fish! Your face was schmushed out of your mommy’s vagina. Can you handle that?

      • We all know where we came from. That doesn’t change the fact that pregnant women are kind of gross.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        Sometimes pregnancy makes women prettier. Lips get fuller, etc. And sometimes they have a “glow” about them.

        Of course swollen fetus filled bellies and mucus plugs are a major fucking turn-off though.

  10. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:


  11. JC

    Still hotter than Jessica Simpson is now, post-pregnancy.

    • Jessica’s advantage is that she has the bigger tits and a decidedly feminine body. Gisele is still scrawny and looks like a watermelon seed sprouted.

  12. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this some sort of prego beach club or something? Look at the thighs on the thing behind her.

  13. Brit

    Third trimester of pregnancy and still a smaller belly button shadow than Kelly Ripa. What’s a woman to do?

  14. Indifferent Bastard

    Another trust fund bunch in the making. Wait, baby sharks eat each other in the womb until only one is left. So, there can be only one!

  15. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    it does not look like she gained any weight. there s just a baby in there.

  16. Exit Only Out the Rear

    A one piece swimsuit would be a great option in this case.

  17. Hugh Gentry

    a baby horse is not a small creature. That thing must weight 70-80 pounds.

  18. MyCoworkerIsHot

    Pregnant woman need to cover that shit up. It looks disgusting. As a woman i do not want to fucking see that nastiness. She’s always irritated me don’t see her an anything special.

  19. See, what happens is that when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, the daddy puts his flashlight in mommy’s dark, mysterious cave…”

  20. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s playing hide the sausage with the Jolly Green Patriot giant, what did you think was going to happen to her stomach while the Space Jesus embryo develops?

  21. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve heard celeb uteri are like time shares. I’m trying to book Angie’s for next winter. Or maybe it’s a new way of smuggling in the illegals. In a month or so, a grown Mexican will pop out.

  22. She’s pregnant. It’s hardly newsworthy.

  23. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Christ have some self respect Gisele.

  24. YTBOY

    She have beautiful knees!!!!

  25. JJ

    She looks better than the sea cow behind her…moooooo

  26. anonym

    yeah fuck. how do these bitches not get stretch marks……

    • Sliver

      They get em, but know what to do afterwards. First they paint over them with special make-up, then later when the baby is born, they go to a dermatologist and have a procedure done which makes the stretch marks heal over. It’s an expensive form of derma-rolling. Google!

  27. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to see how you guys all look with a baby stuffed in you and all the hormones raging through your systems. Nevermind. I really wouldn’t.

    • Tron

      To be honest, it doesn’t stop me from sexually objectifying her (or her unborn child). I would just have to shout out fair warning in my sexual fantasies: “Hey little dude…INCOMING!!”

  28. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Um… sure are we that she’s pregnant and not the unfortunate sufferer of a record-breaking tumor…? Those things can have hair and nails too you know…

  29. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Twinsies Gisele!

  30. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously. It’s one thing to give girls a hard time who pack on a ton of weight all over when they’re pregnant. But you’re complaining–what, because the baby is making her stomach stick out too far??!! Babies are so selfish… She’s growing ANOTHER HUMAN BEING inside her. Geez.

  31. dd

    he looks amazing! she obviously works out and is still eating well whilst pregnant- i get it when he lays into jessica simpson for being like this beached whale but gisele looks more toned and fit than most non pregnant women- she looks amazing so laying into her becayse she has a big belly WHEN PREGNANT just seems petty and mean spirited

  32. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, look how sweet she is, trying to calm that beached manatee.

  33. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    wow… she is a very oddly shaped pregnant woman she has no space between her stomach and her tiny boobs, why haven’t her boobs grown yet? i love baby bellies but her’s is quite… unusual!

  34. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Darn she is pregnant and still I can see her ribs…where is the lil extra for the baby to grow on??? Wow..As soon as that baby is born she will look even thinner tan she was…

  35. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone commented on another photo that she should have some self respect… Please!!

    How sexy is this for a pregnant woman… WOW!

  36. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Again… Who said she should have self respect. She’s even hotter pregnant than she was before. This is soooo sexy!!

  37. Gisele Bundchen Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    So, she’s too skinny, she’s too fat, how about she is who she is?!
    If she DID have extra weight on her ribs, I’m sure more of you everyday ugly small town Nobodys would have something to say about that too.

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