Comic-Con Day 2: I’m In Love With A Giant

July 26th, 2014 // 23 Comments

Welcome to Day Two of our Comic-Con coverage which I’m telling myself will justify beefing this Friday to go see Guardians of The Galaxy and spending way too long writing a dick-joke laden review of it. Lies are fun. Anyway, let’s get to it. I’ve still got Most Important People to put up when I should be on the couch replenishing my word juice.

Game of Thrones

To the surprise of no one, the Game of Thrones panel fucking killed which usually happens when you bring an actual giant woman who looks remarkably good dolled up. I would hire Sherpas and somehow hit that. I’m still working out the logistics. *doodles a crude series of lifts and pulleys* Oh, and they also brought a blooper reel from Season 4 which exploded the Internet’s dick off. Probably because it contains this:

Peter Dinklage Dancing

No, I’m not crying. *wipes tears* There’s a water leak in my house. Shut up.


I’ve yet to sit down and watch this show, but everyone I talk to through a screen because human contact is scary has told me it’s completely slapping the shit out of the DC Comics movies. So here’s a bunch of info about Arrow Season 3 which will apparently feature Brandon Routh as The Atom because that’s how hard Superman Returns fucked his career. He went from the cinematic version of the most prominent character in the history of comic books to fan service on a CW show. Which is why it’s always important to let Bryan Singer touch your special place. (I’ll wait for you to get your kid so you can read that to them. I’ve got time.)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

While Arrow might have Deathstroke, The Atom, Arsenal, Harley Quinn and a whole shitload of other comic favorites, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is finally bringing the big guns this season with… Mockingbird? Fucking Mockingbird? You know what? Just watch the Patton Oswalt video. Forget everything you read up here. Mockingbird? Goddammit.

Guardians of The Galaxy 2

Presumably because their big television news was fucking Mockingbird, Marvel announced a day ahead of their movie panel that James Gunn will be back to direct Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Which is funny because Marvel dangled Thunderbolts in front of him if he did a good job with GoTG – And all signs point to that happening. – only to turn around and go, “Haha, just kidding. Make another one, or we kill your whole family.” Okay, I may have made up that last part. Or did I?

Nicolas Cage In Superman Lives

And finally, this news didn’t come out of Comic-Con, but pretty much over-shadowed literally everything yesterday – including Game of Thrones (Forgive me, my giant love.) – because it’s the trailer for the documentary on Superman Lives, the legendary aborted movie that would’ve featured a be-mulleted Nicolas Cage as Superman directed by Tim Burton. And Jesus Christ, the test footage. I feel like someone should legally should have to make this now otherwise this is all just a giant cocktease. The human mind can only be promised so much.

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Photos: Getty


  1. Cock Dr

    Something very important is missing from that GOT group photo. Something small, yet the omission is huge.

  2. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
    Cock Dr
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    What a pair.

  3. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
    Cock Dr
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    Nik is a damned good looking man, but this photo doesn’t do him any favors.

  4. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    Pretty sure at this point George RR Martin gives zero fucks about finishing the GoT books and will just tell the HBO writers what’s what and let them finish it for him.

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    Is there anything worse than brain freeze?

  6. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    If he starts twerking, I”m going spoon out my eyeballs.

  7. Short Round

    I said it once I’ll say it again Peter Dinklage is fucking awesome!

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    “Why yes”, he said smiling at the admiring throng of Comic Con geeks, “My books are snuff novels. How long did it take you to realize it?”

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    Lord Snow is rather small, isn’t he?

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    Adamantinarx II
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    Sexiest woman on the planet.

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    George should just write himself into the final episode where he bangs a couple of the characters.

  12. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    These are some really weird looking people in real life.

  13. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    She looks much better here than on the show.

  14. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    Googled her. She has nice legs.

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    Bout Malley
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    Macho, Macho Man! I want to be a macho man!

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    She’s the female Javier Bardem. Sexy or hideous, depending on the angle of view.

  17. Leila

    I have to say, I liked that the majority of questions from the crowd targeted not to the stars but to the author. Comic Con may be big money business now, but at it’s heart are still the major nerds we love. Having said that, I want the show to depart from the books. That shit is just too fucking ugly. No matter what anyone says about imagination and violent imagery in novels, I think there is enough of a difference between the seeing and reading of beloved characters getting their heads popped to warrant some changes. Speaking of, Pedro Pascal is AWESOME. Can’t he come back in dream sequences or something?!?

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    Damn she looks good!!!

  19. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    The chick in the back is the hot one

  20. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    Keep on writin’…

  21. Game of Thrones Comic-Con Panel
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    The question he was just asked was, “what do you know”.

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