Rubber Butthole Merchant Farrah Abraham Seeks Good Christian Man

Or a giant Pikachu to do her in the butt. Whatevs, you guys, it’s her body.

When we last left Farrah Abraham, she was destroying any chance of her daughter leading a normal, healthy life, which is probably still going on right now. Just always assume that’s happening. Anyway, since then, she somehow got herself booked on Million Dollar Matchmaker where she somehow looked at Patti Stanger with a straight face and said she wants a man with “good Christian values,” and Patti Stanger looked back at her with her own straight face and said, “Okay, but we’re going to pretend I cured you of making porn because fuck it at this point, right?” PEOPLE reports:

As for what she’s looking for in a guy, the single mom revealed, “Definitely not a man-boy, a full-grown man, good Christian values, I wanted someone who could equally support me in all of my endeavors since I am so diverse and [someone who’s] understanding that I’ve been in adult entertainment.”
And, since the sharp-tongued Stanger, 55, previously told PEOPLE Now she was “trying to get her away from the sex industry,” Abraham added with a laugh: “I think Patti and Candace kind of had their words toward my vagina.”

As for Farrah’s deliverance from porn, her webcam site is still active, you can still by rubber copies of her butthole to spill your seed into, and here she is filming “lesbian erotica” barely a month ago. Then again, if you’re a “full-grown man” with an imaginary friend, you’re already good at swallowing stupid shit that people tell you, so I see this working out. I have a good feeling about this.

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