Farrah Abraham’s Reality Show Is Already Canceled

August 8th, 2013 // 55 Comments
Oh Goddammit
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Seen here at the 2013 EOTM Awards which apparently has a category now for “Most Innovative Use of A Gaping Butthole,” Farrah Abraham‘s reality show, which was the entire point of using said butthole, is already canceled before it even started shooting. Turns out the amount of fucks given to Farrah outside of a porn shoot is zero. Radar reports:

The 22-year-old single mother trumpeted in May a deal with New York-based production company Spinboi Films, who signed the reality-star-turned-porn-star to a development deal to create a docu-soap titled Finding Farrah.
However, as RadarOnline.com has learned, “each network it was pitched to passed,” a source revealed. “The consensus was they didn’t feel Farrah could carry her own show. Needless to say, you will not be seeing the project Finding Farrah anytime soon.”

Fortunately, Farrah hasn’t completely screwed – *spins bowtie* – her chances of doing more porn by lying about using birth control and faking a pregnancy except she immediately did all that. But that’s okay because she has a tremendous singing voice and can always fall back on her career in music. In fact, here’s her video for “On My Own” which almost everyone that survived hemorrhaging from the ears afterward said wasn’t complete shit. Then again, there was that memory loss business and something about post-traumatic stress. James Holmes, I want to say the one guy’s name was…

Haha! I just committed a war crime.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Well, at least she has the ten kagillion dollars that she made on her accidentally leaked, private, not at all contracted sex tape…

  2. This chick is an ugly sperm-dumpster. What’s the core audience for a show like that? Unemployable shut-ins. Turns out that’s not a market advertisers are particularly keen on.

  3. If she is 22 why does she look 45?

  4. She has the oddest looking face. Getting past that, this is why hooking up with Vivid hurts you in the long run, networks won’t touch you after you make videos like that for money. Her best bet is to go back and make a couple more tapes and then take her money back to Nebraska and focus on being a mom.

  5. JT

    Not even with yours….

  6. The normal (!) sequence is: obscurity –> sex tape –> reality show. With this one it looks like it’ll be: reality show –> “sex tape” –> obscurity. Which is perfect, if you think about it, since she seems to like things backwards.

  7. Parker

    I bet she’s the kind of girl who’d get married while she’s getting porked in the butt. That would be some kind of wedding. The priest will be like, Do you take this woman to be your wife, and I’d be like, well I got my dick up her ass right now so I guess ought to. Then someone would hand him a sandwich, probably turkey and swiss on ciabatta bread with some nice thick tomato slices, a little black pepper and a little mayo, all heated up just enough to make the cheese a little melty. He’d take a big bite, someone would break a glass and shout Mazel tov! Then I forget what I was talking about but that sandwich sounds like what I’m having for dinner tonight.

  8. Cock Dr

    She couldn’t even get a job hostessing the Denny’s graveyard shift at this point.
    I would imagine that with the proper pimping she could make quite a bundle as an escort specializing in anal sex.

  9. LET'S HEAR IT FOR FISH...

    He didn’t let the week pass before posting about Farrah Abraham.
    (did she finally agree to let you poke her?)

    anyway…does this mean you’ll treat us to a post about Paula Deen tomorrow?!
    I’m sure she called someone a ‘nigger’ this week. We know she called sometime a ‘nigger’ in the 90′s. Oprah said something this week about Ms. Deen and being called a ‘nigger’, that must count for something?

    I KNOW YOU WON’T DISAPOINT US FISH!!!

    • The fact that you still think Paula Deen was dropped by all her sponsors and showcases for stating in deposition that she’s said “nigger” before, and not for a toxic racist/sexist workplace lawsuit as well as for being a disastrous PR cluster bomb with a trembler switch, tells me all I need to know about the probability of your mother being blind drunk through her entire pregnancy. To try and score off Fish with a deficiency like that is not only futile, but ludicrous in the bargain. Don’t slam the door when you leave – unless you plan to put your no-doubt misshapen head in the middle of the frame.

      P.S. “Disappoint” is spelled with two “p” ‘s. You’re welcome, fuckbrain.

  10. cc

    Her ass is still open for business.

  11. Farrah Abraham Implants
    Kodos
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, and I thought Reese Witherspoon had a cudgel-like jawline…

  12. You would think someone who is supposedly making money hand over anal fist job would be able to afford a set of veneers that didn’t look like they came off a piano keyboard.

  13. This chick got her butthole blown out for the world to enjoy and now she has nothing left to offer. The only point to watching a reality show with skanks on it is the hope that one day they will film a porn.

    • EricLR

      Next up on the “Now that my MTV contract is up and I’m off probation, I can finally do porn!” train is–survey says–JENELLE!

  14. EricLR

    I can’t believe this catch hasn’t found a lucky fella to help raise that kid. Why, you’d would think the boys would be lining up around the block for a shot at this gorgeous dame!

    • Scott

      Well, a nose job would go a long way towards improving her looks. She inherited a bad case of “Jew nose” from her dad.

      • WhiskeyDust

        … and a chin job… and a forehead job… and both cheeks done… and her mouth tucked in… and her ….. never mind. I made my point.
        You cant fix fugly.

      • in fairness, she is trying as best she can – by pointing her face in the opposite direction and her ass up.

  15. o0

    I guess the Emmy Wards are scrambling now to come up with a new winner for best reality show category. DAMN! I was so looking forward to this dim wit proving to the world how shallow she is. Her attempt to bust into the limelight is back firing on her with each desperate attempt to be noticed. Go Away and raise your child (the only fucking reason you are even known).

  16. ChaCha

    Well I guess she better get to gold diggin’. Based on her looks, I’m thinking the guy will have to be old as dirt, and not especially wealthy, but somewhat “comfortable.” He’ll also need to be one of those guys who just doesn’t give a fuck anymore; I’m thinking an older, poorer Charlie Sheen type.

  17. Farrah Abraham Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, how in the hell do you get all that cosmetic surgery done and when it comes to your face you tell the surgeon, “Hey, you know Jay Z? Can you make me look like a white, female version of him, please? Awesome!”

  18. puddleduck

    Should have spent the money on a nose job instead of her tits

  19. CAWCAW

    I think my favorite line in her “song” is ‘my sadness flares’. oh honey, sadness doesn’t flare. You’ll have a herpes flare up eventually though!

  20. How bad is her singing that they had to auto tune her voice to the point where you almost can’t hear it and then on top of that put that loud dinging noise?

  21. Farrah Abraham Implants
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch looks like she’s in her mid-40′s.

  22. Farrah Abraham Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    If her reality show is cancelled, she could always try for a career in politics.

  23. Farrah Abraham Implants
    Stephanie
    Commented on this photo:

    Horsey

  24. WhiskeyDust

    Is it just me or does she actually look like Paul Stanley in full drag?????

  25. brian

    Lace up those skates, Farrah, because I see a bright future of delivering food at Sonic in the near future!

  26. Jenn

    She looks like Eric Balfleur’s ugly little sister with that long face.

  27. Somewhere William Hung is ready to match her note for note to see who has the best singing voice.

    She bangs, She bangs….

  28. kery

    She is very ugly even though she wears make up.

  29. There’ll always be a place for you in the porn world, Farrah. Embrace your true calling. Again.

  30. Mistress Eva

    Dear f**king god. I didn’t think there could possibly be anything worse than Courtney Stodden’s attempt at making “music”. But this… this is so much worse. Was this recorded using one of those Casio keyboards from the 80′s? Also, auto-tuning does NOT make up for not being able to sing at all.

  31. mariebal

    it’s the horse-like face. bug eyes and super-low hairline that get to me

  32. Farrah Abraham Implants
    scooby
    Commented on this photo:

    Headline should have said, “Farrah Abraham’s REALITY cancelled.”

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