If Anyone Gives A Shit, Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries Settled Their Divorce

We have grave questions on our plate today from asking how truly vulnerable we are to domestic terrorism to how legal residents were able to stockpile a goddamn arsenal of explosives, firearms and rocket launchers, but what’s really on everyone’s mind is when are Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries finally going to settle that divorce we all forgot about? Turns out today. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian have settled their year-and-a-half long divorce battle, and it looks like it will be announced in court today … this according to sources directly connected with Kris.
TMZ broke the story Thursday … Kris had softened his position about demanding an annulment because his case had gone South — in other words, there was no proof Kim committed fraud when she married him. …
As for the settlement, it’s confidential so far, but you can bet this was a divorce and NOT an annulment.

So.. Kim Kardashian won? Wonderful. I probably would’ve been able to process this information better if I hadn’t just seen the photo going around of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev placing his bomb right next to where eight-year-old Martin Richard was standing on a railing waiting for his dad to cross the finish line, so I’m bypassing the snark and going straight to we’re all floating on a horrible, hopeless death rock made of shit and hell.

Photos: Splash News