Eva Longoria Parker launches clandestine assault on cheaters

December 30th, 2008 // 37 Comments

Eva Longoria Parker hates cheaters and has no qualms about going private eye on their asses, according to NY Daily News:

If she discovered a pal’s man was unfaithful, “(I’d) tell her,” the Desperate Housewife declares in Glamour magazine’s February Man issue, adding that she’d even resort to sneaky tactics to expose the guy.
“I would probably take a picture with my camera phone first,” she says. “It’s tough, because sometimes people kill the messenger. But I think the truth always comes out, regardless of who tells us.”

Real smooth, Eva. Now every cheater in America knows to watch out for a garden gnome with a camera phone when they’re out with their mistress. “Is that a pointy red hat?! Shit, act like you’re my sister. So, hey, remember that dad guy? He was great. Wait, it’s a traffic cone. Phew. Now I don’t have to explain why I’ve been fondling your breasts this whole time.”

Photos: WENN

  1. Jens

    rat face!

  2. Tim

    meh, she’s alright

  3. wooooh eva got a booty going on there….

  4. nastyjay

    mm boring…

  5. aero

    …that bitch better be purrrrrr-fect.

  6. fot

    She’s wearing the spanx again.

    Boy, she’s no prize.

  7. b

    who cares what a plain 5 foot tall monkey lovin spic thinks?

  8. lola

    Hey now.. I am that height and all the guys love it. A tall girl can be a turn off to a short man. I love men and women of all sizes so the haters on this site are just grasping at straws.

  9. lisa

    shes so pretty and smart!

  10. kitten

    Yeah lola, but you’re also easy to slap around and throw around. I’m 5’8 and lovin it!!!

  11. Deacon Jones


    Agreed. But she’s tighter…

    Eva’s a cunt

  12. Jimmy Jim

    she’s pulling a wynona with whatever she’s smuggling in the rear of that dress.

    but seriously, she’s a good looking normal woman. Good looking normal women are a dime a dozen, good looking celebrities seem to be much rarer, as they are typically just plain unhealthy or doctored.

  13. Gina

    WTF happened to her ?
    She looks like a pregnant illegel who just crossed the river to drop anchor

  14. Fat Lady

    Wait, I think this boring day of wanabe posts is done…. LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

  15. Fat Lady

    Wait, I think this boring day of wanabe posts is done…. LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

  16. Fat Lady

    Wait, I think this boring day of wanabe posts is done…. LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

  17. Parker

    Look how her butt can’t help revealing itself beneath her dress. I would bend her over and wedge my cock into her tight little ass then pick her up off the floor and buttfuck her in the air.

  18. p0nk

    how’d she get famous again? oh yeah, playing a cheating housewife on TV.

    18. I’m sure i speak for all the men here when i express how grateful i am for your daily sex tips.

  19. Deacon Jones


    Hahaha, that is a pretty funny visual though.

  20. Boris M

    Who give a shit what that UGLY, DWARFISH, VILE, ZERO-INTEGRITY WHORE has to say. Fucking ape-woman must have sucked a tractor-trailer of dicks to get where she is.

  21. tp

    This bitch thinks she’s all that and she’s fucking UGLY!!!

  22. Sway


    Couldnt agree with you more and couldnt help but actually laugh out loud to the thought of that

  23. woodhorse

    She must have got that way after her LAP BAND because she cheats all the time.

  24. Sheva

    She’s looking more the boring bitchy soccer mom with each passing day.
    And she sucks monkey balls. And sometimes Tony Parker’s.

    What the hell was that guy thinking. Oh yeah, wow, I like anal and she lets me.

    Look at that rat face and tell me she ain’t nuthing but trouble. And misery day after day when she’s spending all your money and looking more and more like her true crap self.

  25. simply amazing, this lady

  26. The “almost famous” syndrom has arrived here, folks!!
    ……………………………THE SUNGLASSES!!

  27. friendlyfires

    Known fact that now women cheat more than men (ratio 3:2).
    Can’t wait for someone to turn her ass her in when they find out she’s been fooling around with both the Frito Bandito and the Keebler Elf. She got tired of climbing up regular guy’s legs just to hump their kneecaps. Occassionally , she has to get wild with her own kind. Imaginary television imps.

  28. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    Known fact to who asswipe? cheating men who want to justify it with lying stats? Bullshit you moronic probably American prick. However American = Moron which the world accepts as fact :)

  29. Parker

    Brits = boorish prigs which the world accepts as fact :)

  30. Miss

    #9 your wrong, most men like tall women. but what’s up with all the short comments, she’s the same height as Reese, Jessica Simpon and she’s taller then many celebs like Kylie M who is 5 foot tall and Christina Augliara who is 5’1.

  31. devilsrain

    what makes this idiot think her husband isnt cheating on her 24/7. Another dumb old woman blinded by her obsessive thoughts. “NOT MY MAN” fucking moron

  32. George W Bush

    Her ass looks like two bowling balls in a garbage bag! If this photo was taken in a sporting goods store I think the picture could be used as evidence.

  33. Typical

    Typical Hispanic chick mentality.. I used to teach in a predominantly hispanic high school and trust me all the “ritas are bitches and snitches. This sounds like a warning to Tony P. if you ask me.

  34. She’s wearing the spanx again

  35. Tim

    hahahaha what a pair of racitst wankers you are! Slagging her off because she’s a petite Mexican? you only wish you could have such a stunning lady in your bed.
    Lola, I totally agree, I’m 6′ 4” and my wife is 5′ 1”. Just perfect!

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