Eva Longoria Should Get Those Looked At

August 17th, 2010 // 33 Comments

Granted, I’ve mostly been exposed to/only interested in breasts that look like they bounced out of Dr. Frank Ryan’s laboratory, may he rest in peace, I’m pretty sure they’re not supposed to be that close to the center of a woman’s chest. It’s like they’re trying to merge into one, potentially normal sized tit through some sort of sexy osmosis I’ve never heard of before. Then again, you’re talking to a man who believed the clitoris was real up until 2007. Haha! Good one, ladies.

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. yeah she’s trying to look like a teenager. good luck wit that. nice hooker heels in pic 8 btw

    • blahblahblah

      those “hooker heels” are Christian Louboutins. no one can touch the fabulousness of Christian Louboutin!

  2. Barking Bud

    She looks like a Latin Smurfette….I’d do her.

  3. Cyrus

    Without make-up Eva Longoria is a nasty looking bitch. With it, she never rises above a 7. She is flat chested, flat asses, has bad teeth, and a horse face.

  4. rickardo


  5. XFX

    You know Fish, there’s this thing called a bra…

  6. Belisario

    She’s a typical Mexican – they have mostly small, weird boobs.. and a pear shaped body…

    • ?

      Yeah Salma Hayeks boobs are small and weird….

      • Duke

        Hayek is half Lebanese, half Spanish-Mexican. She gets her curves from her Arab and Southern European ancestry. Most Mexicans are of primarily Native American heritage, and Native Americans are like Asians in that they are not very curvy. But since the former traditionally eat unhealthy food, they develop a pear-shaped body. Belisario is kinda right.

  7. dude

    it’s the curse of tiny titties in a push up bra
    haven’t seen that shit since junior high

  8. Aunt Jemima

    We ought to put one tittie on the South side of the border and one on the North and keep em’ seperated.

  9. I personally don’t see the difference

  10. LowSlash

    The dude is right, small boobs + push up bra = weirdness. Of course, the whole point of a push up bra is cleavage, and if she was wearing a shirt that actually showed it off we wouldn’t even be having this little exchange.

  11. walnut

    It looks like she wearing a bra 3 sizes to small (and not in just the cups).

  12. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    That’s a horrible, horrible bra…

  13. Eva Longoria
    Commented on this photo:

    I really think she’s lost the feeling in her upper waist after wearing that horrible TO SMALL bra made for a 13 year old …better say 10year old…

  14. SU

    She looks like Consuela, the hag who cleans my house & cleans up my dog’s shit.

  15. Rick

    Mosquito bites AND potbelly. Hot.

  16. captain america

    …this tiny woman will adopt some kids in time.

  17. Dool

    Yum Lela Star…

  18. Dick Sword


  19. v-tard

    She should embrace being a DFC.

  20. James

    Answer: she’s wearing a bra that’s a little too small.

    if this is really that mystifying you really must never have known a woman in real life.

    • Alli Watermelon

      Well at least someone isn’t completely freaking dense, unlike Fish. Thank you James.

      • JubeJubes

        actually it has nothing to do with the size of the bra. she’s wearing a wonderbra (i.e a push up with small titties in it). i wonder who it is ACTUALLY that has never known a woman in his life! although yes, it may definately be Fish

        - a woman.

  21. Eva Longoria
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the result of a small a** bra!

  22. Eva Longoria
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are her boobs all smushed together?

  23. Malewhore

    She has the body of a teenager boy!

  24. that is a great tight top. showing how hot she is.

  25. Eva Longoria
    Commented on this photo:

    because there real and she is using a push up bra that presses them together for cleavage… small boobs need some push up support – we dont all want breast augmentation… they feel crap!

  26. Coldcut

    Typical weird looking democrat. Maybe she should stop donating to obama and use the money for some decent tits.

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