So I can move on to more important business, here’s the rest of the MTV EMAs for your viewing pleasure:
Eva Longoria, who apparently hosted the show with her ass.
Rihanna “performing” with Bon Jovi. (Video below.)
Ke$ha being allowed near Miley Cyrus. Oh, good.
And Kelly Brook to make up for Ke$ha because I’m not an animal.
Hope you enjoyed our pop culture, Europeans, or more accurately put, NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE.