Elton John’s Dolce & Gabbana Boycot Seems To Be Over

On Monday, Elton John took to his Instagram (below) to call for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana in protest of their (specifically Dolce’s) statements regarding babies conceived through IVF as “children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog.”

 

 

And while the idea of a semen catalog is something Fish and I may or may not have been trying to raise start-up capital for for years, the real story here is how quickly Elton’s resolve seems to have faded, since exactly one day later, he was seen walking around with a Dolce & Gabbana bag.

 

 

According to a spokesperson, “he was not shopping and he was carrying the bag but he hadn’t been shopping. And it should not detract from their original message or the boycott,” so just when it was “Oh good, bullshit outrage is bullshit,” we’re right back in. Let’s do this:

1. People have the right to their opinions, including saying out loud said opinions, which they will face consequences for by way of others expressing their opposing opinions and as long as nobody’s in jail for it, nobody’s rights have been infringed on. Cool, that’s out of the way.

2. Two fashion designers’ admittedly batshit beliefs about IVF being called into question without any regard to the proliferation of body image issues, horrific child labor practices, and that god awful, fart-dusted speech from The Devil Wears Prada about how our bargain bin sweater colors were chosen for us by the gods of couture falls laughably short on how massively fucked this industry is.

3. As for Elton’s clear disregard for his own call to action, if there’s one thing we know about modern consumerism and how much we’re willing to give up the things we’re hopelessly addicted to in order to hit ‘em where it hurts, I have just one question. How’s that chicken sandwich?