This Is (Probably) Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend

June 11th, 2013 // 55 Comments
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On Sunday, The Guardian published a strange interview with Edward Snowden, an NSA contractor who allegedly leaked a slideshow presentation to Glenn Greenwald and The Washington Post that, at first, looked like the intelligence community was sucking the data straight out of your computer as you typed it, yet oddly made no mention of Chris Hansen who’s watching, always watching… Anyway, without going down the rabbit hole of whether or not Edward Snowden really revealed anything that anyone who’s been following the Patriot Act already knew, is possibly selling shit to the Chinese, or is simply over-dramatizing his role in our shitty, post-911 surveillance state, he mentioned in the interview that he completely abandoned his girlfriend in Hawaii, so this being the Internet, everyone went looking for this chick to see if she’s hot because our priorities are fucking amazing. So on that note, here’s ballerina/dancer Lindsay Mills who according to Buzzfeed, was probably Snowden’s girlfriend which makes this story even more complicated. Because, I don’t know about you, but ballet is boring and ending relationships is hard, so “I have to leave, I’m a spy,” is exactly what I’d come up with, too. I’d even wear a beret.

Photos: Facebook, L’s Journey

superficial

  1. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is it with turtles? Are they the new stuffed bears? First Elsa Pataky, now her.

  2. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Did someone face-swap this with her boyfriend?

  3. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet there ain’t a hair to be seen down there. And with PRISM’s assistance, I could probably find out.

  4. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where in the world is Edward today?”

  5. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice!

  6. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Not flattering pics at all.

  7. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    this girl is pretty hot.

    I guess even computer nerds can pull tail like this when they’re making 200k

  8. Cock Dr

    Well her life is probably being made a living hell right now. What a way to break up.
    At least she doesn’t have to look at the mole anymore.

  9. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Face of a 50 year old, body of a 12 year old and man arms. Nope, not flattering.

  10. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    A little on the manly side…I could see Tom Cruise taking an interest.

  11. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve heard of Dick in a box, but WTF is this?

  12. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    She is definitely fit

  13. Wait, did you say she was a “dancer”? That would explain the pole.

  14. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    oh…THAT kind of dancer.

  15. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Very poor tuck job.

  16. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahahaha! Hey Snowden, here’s some of that ‘full disclosure’ you rave about – your gf had a bdsm threesome with Simba and Nala.

  17. tlmck

    And nect a reality show titled “I squealed on the government, get me out of here!!!”.

  18. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is really playing in a different league than the rest of her body. Her face, arms, shoulders, and penis all look a bit manly.

  19. Shannon

    It’s probably a red flag when your face is obstructed in more than half the photos.

  20. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    FYI he’s not coming back.

  21. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Those blinds are the worst.

  22. alex

    She seems hot. But I think her back is her best feature. That’s not an easy feat.

  23. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    She should probably use this pose more often during shoots.

  24. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    the_spiral
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pay no attention while we rape, murder, dismember and bury what’s left of your civil liberties. Here’s some chick in her underwear!”

  25. Beer Baron

    Dude lives in Hawaii. Has white girlfriend. Come on dude, you’re doing it all wrong. Get yourself an asian freak, son!

  26. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting photo as it does reveal the fugly beast that was hiding in the other so called erotic photos. That is not a penis but very large labia lips.There’s a niche for that in porn.
    Quite sickening that I know this?

  27. Matt

    So, here’s your choice: Spend the rest of my life in prison or spend one more day with your ballerina-girlfriend. Conclusion: this chick must be annoying as hell.

  28. Porn contract offers coming in 3, 2, ….1.

    “The Real Deep Throat”
    “NSA – Not Safe in the Ass”
    “Don’t Read My Emails, Read My Lips (Down There)”
    “Snow-on to Her”

  29. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Noting says “Artistic Integrity” more than having a video of this transgender artist Pole Dancing in front of an appreciative audience on YouTube.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvLReabg0UA

  30. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    If my back was half as ripped as hers I’d knock the shit out of a golf ball.

  31. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a sexy back. Love the muscle tone.

  32. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not what I ordered from Amazon, but I’ll take it.

  33. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m liking everything I see here. Everything.

  34. Would “incredible mediocrity” be oxymoronic?

  35. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Poopy Doopy III
    Commented on this photo:

    (S)he is doing a great job balancing that globe on her(his) penis.

  36. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Bringbackbabalu
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking WOW! The hottest chick youve had on here in ages

  37. This chick is THE BOMB. She really KILLS it in these photos, and OBAMA would do well to pardon her boyfriend.

    (Hi, Gen. Keith Alexander!)

  38. hmm no

    Is she a ballerina though. Hawaii has a really good ballet company. You should be able to google her name and find her company bio. She might have had ballet training but she looks like a burlesque dancer or stripper. She might do odd dance gigs here and there ….but ballerina. Usually have to have a contract to call yourself that. I see no pointe shoes as of yet.

  39. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    CarolinaJim
    Commented on this photo:

    Ditto – i’m with Don. She is plain hot and that body is insane. Anyone that’d prefer a typical overweight chick has simply never been with a hot athletic one in the sack. I have and there is no going back. That ass and those legs alone are worth the trip.

  40. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Shasta
    Commented on this photo:

    “My sex-change operation got botched
    My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
    Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch
    I got an angry inch”

  41. Littlemember

    The chick is a dude. WTF is wrong with you idiots. See her penis, watch it grow

  42. Edward Snowden Girlfriend Lindsay Mills
    Commented on this photo:

    Anthony Keidis is looking remarkable for his age.

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