The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

November 8th, 2012 // 123 Comments

“Aw, no Tinker Toys?” – Justin Bieber

Imagine you’re a little kid who somehow completely forgot it was Christmas and woke up one day to find your living room stuffed to the gills with presents and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my morning’s been like minus a full hour crying in front of the mirror about Jon Hamm’s penis not appreciating how handsome you are in certain lights. So here’s Rihanna, Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Doutzen Kroes at last night’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for your clicking pleasure. Also, I forgot to include Erin Heatherton, but Leonardo DiCaprio dumped her so does she even exist anymore or did she ever really at all? These are the philosophical quandaries I present to you because I’m deep and shit.

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    nip slip? I think so!

  2. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    too much abs!

    • Jess

      I’d rather see a fashion model who earned her figure, rather than one who starved to get to it.

      • You took the words out of my mouth Jess

      • They took the food out of their mouths.

      • No

        You can like the way she looks, but don’t kid yourself into believing she didn’t starve herself to look that way. Most of these girls have probably been off of solid food for weeks now. Adriana Lima said she only eats protein shakes for two weeks leading up to the show. Am I putting her down for that? No, it’s her job to look good so she does what she has to. But I’m not go on about how she’s eating properly either.

  3. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did they invite this asshole? It’s no secret that she’s a dumbass.

    • Ummmm is a fashion show; what does her being a duumbass have to do with it????? No one is watching it to hear really intelligent and intellectual conversation. We just want to hear cool music and see tits and ass!

  4. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t like the looks of that arm.

  5. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Gee whiz!

  6. I love a tight and firm yet petite ass-see pic#1, but (lesbian) Bieber or shank Rihanna being there destroys the sexiness? Really who watches this anymore except masturbating high school males? Internet Porn?

  7. mel

    whoa! now there’s an ass i’d pay good money to get even the briefest snort of! strange how lovely asses like her’s tighten up my pants whereas even a quick glimpse of an enormous, disgustingly disproportionate monstrosity of a poop-pincher like the ones attached to stinky minaj and kim (kolossal krap kanon) kardashian around repulse me and cause my wang to shrivel.

    i’ll never get why some dudes find massive asses appealing. to me, they look so motherfuckin’ pungent they could gag a pig farmer. kardashian and minaj could make stink itself vomit.

    big ass=horrid fecal stench – without exception.

  8. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Mardi Gras Drag Queen

  9. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Niceeeeee

  10. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohhhhhh WOW

  11. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    Doutzen wins hottest of the show

  12. Miranda Kerr Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    What you see in the background is what Orlando Bloom uses to maintain his hold on her.

  13. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    fancy underpants, but the face is a no go. and something is off with the upper right thigh. I looks like that leg is dead.

  14. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    big glasses are must for battered women.

  15. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    would spank

  16. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Best booty on the show

  17. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    From the neck down: actually pretty good. From the neck up: Caribbean Elton John.

  18. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that’s this years Million Dollar bra.
    I’m sure it’s very comfy.

  19. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what? I think I’m starting to get this whole furry business. Because now I want to fuck someone in a poodle costume.

    • cc

      I have to confess…this outfit in particular would lend a certain ‘something’ to the whole experience. That being said, banging Doutzen Kroes wouldn’t really require a whole of enhancing.

  20. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    SexJihaad
    Commented on this photo:

    The real model must have laughed their ears off backstage, at this awkward little runt.

  21. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    SexJihaad
    Commented on this photo:

    models*
    fuck me.

  22. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “And now to join me on my new duet, ‘Don’t Go Punching My Face’…”

  23. USDA Prime McBeef

    kroes wins. swampass takes second.

  24. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes her look like a pink poodle.

  25. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh good god

  26. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    The hottest Angel. By far

  27. Miranda Kerr Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Later
    Commented on this photo:

    Marry me.

  28. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    oh motherfucker

  29. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    SexJihaad
    Commented on this photo:

    “An ass that would make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window” is the apporpirate adage.

  30. Miranda Kerr Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. She is gorgeous.

  31. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    old -_- ….next!

  32. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a keeper. Next!

  33. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Well that’s a rather unflattering angle.

    • Cock Dr

      That’s the “When I’m 50 I’m gonna have a big banana nose” angle. Hard to fix in Photoshop during a live fashion show.

  34. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Boing! Next!

  35. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to VS managment: have the girls starve for only one week before the fashion show…not one month.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I’m a bit tempted to order up a whole mess of panties just to make sure these girls have enough money for proper nutrition.

      yeah, that’s why I need stacks of women’s underwear.

  36. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone put lingerie on one of the corpses from the Poltergeist swimming pool

  37. lawn

    Why are all those stick insects pretending to be butterflies?

  38. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, sometimes these thinnnn.ns……………………………

    Wha? What just happened? I think I passed out.

  39. Miranda Kerr Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fab Xmas after hours outfit.
    Keep the cape away from the cat.

  40. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi, Candice, it’s Michael Bay. Don’t hang up. What do you say you keep this outfit on and I drive over for an audition tape for Transformers 4…. over a dirt road. (snickering to himself)

  41. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this the winner.

  42. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    ew those legs! hey skeletor

  43. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh WTF!!!

  44. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Not That Bad
    Commented on this photo:

    Alessandra, I’d like you to meet my friend, a sandwich.
    Sandwich, this is Alessandra.
    I hope you enjoy each other…

  45. Rihanna The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    A quintuple pearl necklace and a double eyeshot.

  46. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t right guys! She’s got dreams like all the rest of us! Does her appearance mean she doesn’t have a personality? That she’s not deep? That she doesn’t like the little things in life like hot cocoa during a winter storm, or snuggling up to a good book on th— (looks at crotch)

    AH, FUCK IT!

    (skeet skeet skeets all over keyboard)

  47. Doutzen Kroes Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my fucking god.

  48. Miranda Kerr Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d better stop looking at this. The cat is sitting on my desk and it’s all starting to look a little weird, even if there’s no one here to see it.

  49. Alessandra Ambrosio The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    real
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is up with the crotchtal area? Really? The face is…meh!

  50. Candice Swanepoel The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
    real
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice!!! Finally one without some weirdness between the legs…and a decent rack.

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