“Aw, no Tinker Toys?” – Justin Bieber
Imagine you’re a little kid who somehow completely forgot it was Christmas and woke up one day to find your living room stuffed to the gills with presents and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my morning’s been like minus a full hour crying in front of the mirror about Jon Hamm’s penis not appreciating how handsome you are in certain lights. So here’s Rihanna, Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Doutzen Kroes at last night’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for your clicking pleasure. Also, I forgot to include Erin Heatherton, but Leonardo DiCaprio dumped her so does she even exist anymore or did she ever really at all? These are the philosophical quandaries I present to you because I’m deep and shit.
Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN
nip slip? I think so!
My nipple detector is giving it an 87.4% probability.
too much abs!
I’d rather see a fashion model who earned her figure, rather than one who starved to get to it.
You took the words out of my mouth Jess
They took the food out of their mouths.
You can like the way she looks, but don’t kid yourself into believing she didn’t starve herself to look that way. Most of these girls have probably been off of solid food for weeks now. Adriana Lima said she only eats protein shakes for two weeks leading up to the show. Am I putting her down for that? No, it’s her job to look good so she does what she has to. But I’m not go on about how she’s eating properly either.
Why did they invite this asshole? It’s no secret that she’s a dumbass.
Ummmm is a fashion show; what does her being a duumbass have to do with it????? No one is watching it to hear really intelligent and intellectual conversation. We just want to hear cool music and see tits and ass!
I don’t like the looks of that arm.
That’s her gagging arm.
Gee whiz!
I love a tight and firm yet petite ass-see pic#1, but (lesbian) Bieber or shank Rihanna being there destroys the sexiness? Really who watches this anymore except masturbating high school males? Internet Porn?
whoa! now there’s an ass i’d pay good money to get even the briefest snort of! strange how lovely asses like her’s tighten up my pants whereas even a quick glimpse of an enormous, disgustingly disproportionate monstrosity of a poop-pincher like the ones attached to stinky minaj and kim (kolossal krap kanon) kardashian around repulse me and cause my wang to shrivel.
i’ll never get why some dudes find massive asses appealing. to me, they look so motherfuckin’ pungent they could gag a pig farmer. kardashian and minaj could make stink itself vomit.
big ass=horrid fecal stench – without exception.
So, tell us how you really feel?
Mardi Gras Drag Queen
Niceeeeee
Ohhhhhh WOW
Doutzen wins hottest of the show
What you see in the background is what Orlando Bloom uses to maintain his hold on her.
meaning he stares at that thing until he likes women?
I find her beautiful, and I find him to be a douche.
If Orlando Bloom knew me, the one and only thing he would know is how much I hate him for this.
fancy underpants, but the face is a no go. and something is off with the upper right thigh. I looks like that leg is dead.
big glasses are must for battered women.
would spank
Already am.
Best booty on the show
From the neck down: actually pretty good. From the neck up: Caribbean Elton John.
I think that’s this years Million Dollar bra.
I’m sure it’s very comfy.
You know what? I think I’m starting to get this whole furry business. Because now I want to fuck someone in a poodle costume.
I have to confess…this outfit in particular would lend a certain ‘something’ to the whole experience. That being said, banging Doutzen Kroes wouldn’t really require a whole of enhancing.
The real model must have laughed their ears off backstage, at this awkward little runt.
models*
fuck me.
“And now to join me on my new duet, ‘Don’t Go Punching My Face’…”
Standing O
kroes wins. swampass takes second.
This makes her look like a pink poodle.
Oh good god
The hottest Angel. By far
I prefer Kerr, but this will do.
Her face is just so meh though! But she has the best body. I still prefer Doutzen by miles.
Marry me.
oh motherfucker
“An ass that would make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window” is the apporpirate adage.
that looks nothing like the ass of a 10 year old choir boy.
touché
Wow. She is gorgeous.
old -_- ….next!
She’s a keeper. Next!
Well that’s a rather unflattering angle.
That’s the “When I’m 50 I’m gonna have a big banana nose” angle. Hard to fix in Photoshop during a live fashion show.
Boing! Next!
Note to VS managment: have the girls starve for only one week before the fashion show…not one month.
I’m a bit tempted to order up a whole mess of panties just to make sure these girls have enough money for proper nutrition.
yeah, that’s why I need stacks of women’s underwear.
Looks like someone put lingerie on one of the corpses from the Poltergeist swimming pool
Why are all those stick insects pretending to be butterflies?
You know, sometimes these thinnnn.ns……………………………
Wha? What just happened? I think I passed out.
What a fab Xmas after hours outfit.
Keep the cape away from the cat.
Hi, Candice, it’s Michael Bay. Don’t hang up. What do you say you keep this outfit on and I drive over for an audition tape for Transformers 4…. over a dirt road. (snickering to himself)
I call this the winner.
ew those legs! hey skeletor
Oh WTF!!!
Alessandra, I’d like you to meet my friend, a sandwich.
Sandwich, this is Alessandra.
I hope you enjoy each other…
NotThatBad I would like you to meet good genes, working out and fashion.
A quintuple pearl necklace and a double eyeshot.
This isn’t right guys! She’s got dreams like all the rest of us! Does her appearance mean she doesn’t have a personality? That she’s not deep? That she doesn’t like the little things in life like hot cocoa during a winter storm, or snuggling up to a good book on th— (looks at crotch)
AH, FUCK IT!
(skeet skeet skeets all over keyboard)
Oh my fucking god.
I’d better stop looking at this. The cat is sitting on my desk and it’s all starting to look a little weird, even if there’s no one here to see it.
WTF is up with the crotchtal area? Really? The face is…meh!
Nice!!! Finally one without some weirdness between the legs…and a decent rack.