Dina Lohan: ‘My Daughter is Jesus’

August 13th, 2010 // 128 Comments

Dina Lohan had her dream come true this morning when she was invited on The Today Show to talk about her daughter in front of real, live, working TV cameras that people will actually watch. While talking with Matt Lauer, Dina basically brushed off every legitimate question he asked and proceeded to paint Lindsay Lohan as a persecuted individual – She’s friends with murderers, you know – who’s the victim of an out-of-control judge that’s totally going to get fired, you guys. Via People:

Dina said that information will be coming out next week showing that the jurist had to remove herself from the case before she was about to be fired.
Defending Lindsay, who was at the Cannes Film Festival when she was expected in court in Los Angeles for a progress review, Dina said, “She was in [jail] for just missing a couple of classes and was working at the time.”
In addition, Dina noted, by Lindsay’s being behind bars, “She missed driving classes.” The actress also came into personal contact with murderers, said her mother, adding, “She made friends with them.”
Pressed about her daughter’s problems, Dina said, “That’s all propaganda,” and called tabloid coverage of Lindsay “pre-orchestrated. You’re reading things that are not based on fact.”

SHIT! She knows about the playbook!

But, no, seriously the real issue here is that Dina confirmed tabloid reports (Irony!) that Lindsay will be getting out of rehab early which is un-fucking-believable considering 90 days wasn’t even close to enough time to make it stick. The only true way to rehabilitate Lindsay is to sentence her to 18 years of being raised by an actual human being who’s not queen of the look-at-me harpies. Wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. Stop me if I’m making the entire field of psychology look like clown shoes.

superficial

  1. Darth

    I’m deeply disappointed.I did expect her at least to end up in jail on the electric chair due to her extreme unpleasant personality.But they didn’t do their job.

  2. Jen

    i love how she dodges all the questions and is defensive. its b/c she knows she is absolute bullshit.

  3. Sniper Girl

    D E N I A L D I N A Hmmmm, coincidence? Think not, Dina NEEDS rehab, counseling and parenting classes….and a lot of it! I have 2 daughters and I would be damned if I would just sit by/help ruin their life like this “mother” has done. She also has 2 younger victims…oops, children. They should be taken out of her care.

  4. Mal Gusto

    Lindsay sounds just like this stupid cunt! The talk of propaganda and conspiracy. Listening to Dina actually makes feel a little sorry for the FireCrotch.
    I will still laugh out loud the day I hear Lindsay has died.

  5. If LiLo is like Jesus…..we should get some nails.

  6. LJ

    This interview makes me wonder if Dina Lohan has already sold the rights to televise Lindsay’s funeral to Bravo.

  7. blip

    Lindsay Lohan made friends with a bunch of murderers? Sounds about right.

  8. McFeely Smackup

    were it up to me, every celebrity would serve 100 + 10% of any court imposed sentence. Overcrowding is fine, but I’d rather see two real criminals released for every celebrity that gets out early. Difference is Lindsay gets out in 1/10th of her sentence and EVERYONE hears about it, and makes our justice system look like a joke. If we let two junkies out early instead, nobody will hear about it.

  9. Marnie

    They should have just sent someone in with a looped tape of Dina saying “Judge” “hardball” and “It’s TMZ’s fault” and it would have been the same damn interview.

  10. Erica

    Love Lindsay, love Dina. Haters are sad pathetic bitter people.

  11. Bugsy

    Who cares about this no talent, washed up, child actress. The media needs to move on….

  12. MrsEllis

    Matt Lauer is cute.

  13. Marnie

    Christ. Part Two of that interview was even more painful to watch.

  14. allie!

    poor lindsay. she really is under a microscope. i feel really bad for her. i dont like dina but lindsay does have to put up with her… id do drugs too if i had to listen to this dumb cunt talk all the time.
    if dina was out of the picture, i think lindsay would be a lot better off. the court should have ordered them a restraining order. haha

  15. Joe

    What a worthless retarded twat. Clueless and a total cunt.

  16. Amy

    DIna Lohan makes Michael Lohan look like Dr. Spock. And that’s Doctor Spock, not Mister.

  17. gigi gambino

    GOD DAMNIT!
    Will everybody just stop giving a shit about these Lohans? And can we all throw monkey shit at Matt Lauer for giving this Crap-Ass “mother” another forum by which she can spout off about her poor, persecuted baby. I mean, facts are facts: the Dad is a convicted felon who also dodges child support obligations, is a known drug addict and likes to punch women in the face. Oh yeah, he also likes to take naked pictures of his fiancee at a vulnerable time and then sell the shit for money. The Mom is a PARASITE who has been living her second childhood via proxy through her kids for years now – have you ever seen her up close and in person in a club when she is all shit-faced and thinking she is some hot, sexy bitch and hitting on guys in their barely old enough to date her daughters? Well, I have and it is both tragically sad and disgusting. As far as her children are concerned – where were Child Protective Services? Seriously? We all saw this coming, right? With parents like these I am surprised that all of their kids are actually still alive. So Superficial, and all others in the media, not fuck it, ALL of us – lets just puts these fuckers on an ice floe and just shove them off away from the rest of us. I, for one, am so sick and tired of hearing about these retards. (Sorry to real retards!)

  18. This is my first post.

    This just makes me sick. If lindsay lohan were a black male, she would be in jail for 20,30,90 days. Period.

    She has had two duis and didn’t they find drugs on her the second time?

    We say video where she drunk, had several passengers in the car and possibly was on drugs.

    If she was in any other state and not a celeb, she would get at least a month in jail. And then … she broke probation? OMFG. That is a minimum of 30 days in Georgia.

    Also, what did Mommy Lohan say. The judge was fired because she didn’t follow the District Attorney? What?, What the fuck? The Judge is the judge. The district attorney manages the solicitors and prosecutors. It is up to the judge to set the sentence.

    OMFG, OMFG, OMFG, OMFG.

    What a horrible mother.

    She didn’t say anything, her daughter learning her lesson. Or, I am sorry my daughter was about driving drunk. She could have injured somebody. She said something about the judge. And I bet a million dollars that the judge didn’t get fired. Judges don’t get fired. The state doesn’t give two shits about tthe Lohans

  19. Sardonic

    Narcissistic and delusional. Runs in the family.

  20. anonym

    SUMMA CUM LAUDE FROM PODUNK UNIVERSITY

    ahahahah. Not even Ivy League

    America…… BE HUMBLE.

    Don’t embellish.

  21. I would comment at length, but the venom and bile on display is adequate. The only thing I feel regret about is the pitiable end she is headed for, followed by the irritating parade of self-serving “memorial” media stops everyone in her clown-car of a family will inflict upon us.
    The only good part: ‘The Soup’ will; have fodder for years to come.

  22. Please...

    She can’t speak a complete sentence, not to mention the fact that everything she says is repeated multiple times. It is not the Cal. legal system’s fault that Lindsey is an addict and endangered lives by drunk driving. And it certainly isn’t the hardball judge’s fault that Lindsey was raised by a delusional old broad and a textbook douche. What will it take for this mother to admit that her daughter has issues?

  23. one legged

    this mother is a crackhead…
    lost forever..

  24. I think the judge should put Lindsay Lohan back in prison for not serving her 90 day sentence.

    That isn’t harsh. That is what judges do.

  25. I think that comment about murders is a lie. You have two types of charges for that type of jail (different from prison). Misdemeanor and felony. Misdemeanor is DUI and stealing, stuff like that. They intentionally group those people together …because they are in there for a short stay and in and out.

    Those in for alleged felonies which are far fewer in number are still placed in holding but a felony is not necessarily murder. it could still be felony dui, or types of fraud. I just can’t imagine that this jail would have murderers walk around with people in for DUI offenses.

    I think Mommy Lohan is full of shit.

  26. Dina, you have done for motherhood what Jonestown koolaid did for kids drinks.

  27. captain america

    I wonder: SHE HAS A SECRET PENIS SOMEWHERE?

  28. captain america

    ugh puke aaaaaaagh, SHE IS A TRANSSEXUAL?

  29. captain america

    dina is maria?

  30. 52

    For a person who doesn’t want to talk about the judge and what happened, who doesn’t know about what her ex is up to (among the other criminals she’s been involved with by her own admission), she has talked a lot and knows a lot. Liars always give themselves up through the lies they spew to cover the old ones up. This eveil witch, being so UNintelligent in her usage of the English language, is an indicaiton of what kind of a ‘mom’ she really is, what kind of a person she really is. There is letting your kids do things, then there’s letting your kids do everything without any kind of supervision other than what’s in the tabloids and calling it out as ‘propaganda’. What an ugly failure of a ‘mom’… stupid bitch… inside and out. Did you read this too Dina? Hope you did!

  31. ohh but GUYS- “She’s not a regular Mom, she’s a COOL Mom”..

    I can’t stop laughing at the opening line, ‘Dina Lohan had her wish come true today..’.

  32. herbiefrog

    hard ball ?

    what hard ball ? ? ?

    …oh you’re talkin about that judge who thought she could become famous by f*cking with our lindsay babe…

    bye bye baby… bye bye

    [w h a t ? just shut down… post

  33. chelsi

    this is painful to watch….

  34. Sam

    How dare this crazy ass woman compare her druggy,skanky,problematic daughter to JESUS is she crazy??? .Even for the non religious he existed and did GREAT and AMAZING things not screwed up crap like Lindsay.I think her mom needs to find someone else to compare her daughter to.

  35. paojola

    a tragic case of mommy the enabler. she’s still trying to portray her daughter as just a traditional kid who’s slip ups are magnified because of her fame. unfortunately for her, the average kid is not in and out of jail and drug and alcohol rehab. she’s not involved in normal juvenile slip ups, these appear to be serious alarm bells going off here. Yet mom keeps pretending everything’s fine, everything is simply being distorted in the media, and even the things that are true, well, its everyone else’s fault, media, tabloids, ex-husband, now even the judge. if my kid went to hollywood and ended up in lindsey’s situation I’d be hair dragging her back to upstate NY to get her life together whether she likes it or not.

  36. Aussie Mama

    This woman, and Brittneys mother, should be burned at the stake, like the witches they are.
    They do not give a shit about their girls and never have. They are meal tickets to them and noting more.
    A disgrace to mothers everywhere!

  37. mellow mellon

    i wish she would OD once and for all so we can get back to pictures of kelly brook in a bikini.

  38. Strega

    OMG… Is it really any wonder her daughter has had such a hard time dealing with life and reality. Dina Lohan should have been in the cell next to her…

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