Dina Lohan: ‘Lindsay Wants to Open Her Own Rehab’

July 14th, 2010 // 65 Comments

Seen here mugging for the paparazzi because she’s just as famous as Lindsay, you guys, Dina Lohan is doing what any mother would do right before her tossed in jail: Selling exclusive interviews like they’re goddamn antidote. Here she is in the latest issue of InTouch talking about how sober Lindsay is and how she wants to start her own rehab because she’s all growed up now:

On how Lindsay needed rehab then but not now:
“She went to rehab before the court ordered her. When I put my daughter in rehab, I knew she needed it. In 2007 — not currently.”

On Lindsay suddenly being claustrophobic yet loves restroom stalls:
She is claustrophobic, so she’s in fear of that.

On her fears as the most enabling mother on the planet:
“If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd.”

On Lindsay’s dreams to rehabilitate anyone but herself:
“Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.”

Jesus. Lindsay Lohan starting a rehab? That’d be like Tiger Woods starting a sex addiction clinic that only allows white, female porn stars who love anal sex to attend.

Okay, that’s not fair. Tiger would actually have a chance of rehabilitating somebody. I get carried away sometimes.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Drew

    Useless cunts. Both of them.

  2. taz

    Insert penis

  3. ZigZagZoey

    OMG ~That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in quite some time!

  4. Dina Lohan & your fossilized bosom – please pass over some of what you’ve been smoking.

    • Romeo Rodreguz

      This useless update starring Dina Lohan, with skin as fine as a blonde neapolitan mastiff.

      If only there were a good use for a used-up sack of over-tanned baggy skin whose parenting skills are inferior to Oscar the Grouch. You go girl, keep acting and dressing like you are 25, you have us all fooled.

  5. Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know In-N-Out served vodka slushies!

  6. Adam

    I didn’t know In-N-Out served vodka slushies …

  7. I’d pull a Ke$ha all over that leathery cleavage!

  8. joho777

    Din’s upper chest looks as scaly as an alligator’s back. Now I know where Lindsay got her horrible skin.

    I had always though Lindsay’s awful skin came from her dissipated lifestyle. But it also may be hereditary.

  9. Mike Nike

    These people are just fucked right in the head.

  10. ed3

    Is there a more fucked up family than the Lohans? I doubt it. This cunt needs to share a cell with her daughter, with the father close by.

  11. Some Girl

    Lindsay just wants access to drugs.

    Dina acts like missing DUI classes is nothing, DUI’s are serious and kill. Terrible parenting. Just terrible.

    She is now pushing the claustrophobia excuse and Lindsay is an actor so she can fake it in jail.

    These people suck and she looks like leather.

    • Matthew Maurice

      Dina acts like Contempt of Court is nothing. Judges have a differing opinion, guess whose wins?

  12. guitarguypa

    Please, please, please, would the judge in this case put LiLo and her stupid f-ing parents in jail together…

  13. JaidenPaidIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Her skin on her chest looks like that from a brontosaurus.
    Maybe a bit more rough.
    That being said…i’d probably still do the mom-daughter-drug infested-orgy with them.

  14. Photoshop Police

    Missing rehabilitation classes for … Reckless driving under the influence of booze and coke…

    yeah… should have been more like 3 years.

    Earth to Lohans… SHUT UP AND DO YOUR TIME.

  15. Turd Ferguson

    #1 nailed it – well stated buddy.

  16. SO RIGHT

    she might want to stop drinking first. just sayin

  17. thatgirl07

    “Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd.”

    This woman is so full of shit. It’s so absurd that a D list celebrity should have to pay the same price as any other person in the US would if they got a DUI, and then fucked up the rules of their probation. One of my best friends was killed by a drunk driver last year, DUI’s are a violent and dangerous crime. Just because you starred in a few shitty movies for disney years ago doesn’t mean you get a free pass for the rest of your life. I’m so tired of these rich cunts that do nothing to improve the world thinking they are exempt from responsibility for their actions. I wish Lindsey would do the world a favor and just OD already.

  18. Some Girl

    All I see with these people is a criminal mindset. Lindsay gets it from her parents. Dina has been lying from day one when she said she was a Rockette and they later proved she wasn’t. Cons.

  19. lerxt

    When is her sex tape coming out?

  20. wtf

    I thought the “all growed up” was just a joke, but she actually says this as some type of justification for Lindsay having the wherewithal to open a fucking rehab centre? for kids?

  21. I can't stand this stupid bitch

    “If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd.”

    Jebus, what a delusional crackhead. Jail doesn’t help anyone? Doesn’t the famewhore know that prison is meant to be negative reinforcement, ie – making it so painful that committing a crime with the possibility of returning is unthinkable? ITS CALLED SCARED STRAIGHT, white oprah. And it works. And you think the only reason she was sentenced to jail was because she missed one class? Pull your head out of your ass, you worthless piece of shit. Your stupid crackhead daughter was sent to jail because she violated her probation 7 times, has lied to the court & her counsel & to the judge, and couldn’t be bothered to show up for her court appearances because she wanted to be photographed in a Cannes hotel room with cokewhore swingers, no pants and lines of coke on a table next to her. Her arrogant entitled attitude, which she learned from you, is what put her in jail. All she had to do was toe the line & meet the judges requirements, and she would be out. But, little miss “I’m too good for that” fucked it up, just like everythng else in her life.

    Next time you get the urge to speak without thinking (which is your common condition), please just shut the fuck up…

  22. Who better than Lindsey to teach (tumbling down) the Twelve Steps of Recovery!!!

  23. M

    Why does Dina’s chest look like boiled asslips?

  24. Name (required)

    What in the fuck is wrong with this family?

  25. Kelley

    The scariest thing is that *this* is what produced Lindsay Lohan, and I hate to be crude, but methinks she should have swallowed that load instead of inflicting it upon all of us, wouldn’t you agree ? What a shallow, tragic thing to be making money from just being a fuck-up.

  26. Citizen S

    Most parents would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to whether or not a child needs rehab. Yes, rehab is costly but most parents value their children more than any amount of money.

    As for opening up a rehab, most anyone serious about getting clean probably wouldn’t want to go to a clinic where the owner never made an effort to get clean and set a good example.

  27. She’s giving In-N-Out a bad rep!

    And srsly, the DUI penalties are stiff so DONT FUCK THEM UP. Miss a class, go to jail. DONT MISS A CLASS. In Arizona you also get to have a breathalizer in your car for a year on top of a day in Tent City, 10 weeks of alcohol classes, and atleast $1800 in fees. So DEAL WITH IT.

  28. Admiral Buttcrack

    These people are just disgusting.
    And Lindsey got less than a slap on the wrist, for a SECOND DUI! HEllo?!
    TWO DUIs!
    she did 84 minutes.
    Okay, I got a DUI in L.A. in 06. A lot of people drive drunk. I did for years and happened to get caught the one time I thought I was being “careful” I was “buzzed” driving. I literally had one drink, waited an hour and headed home. I’m not saying that I didn’t deserve it, but I got the Fucking book thrown at me. I had to do 10 days in county, (Lynwood, and I mean the REAL Lynwood, not the Paris Hilton Holiday weekend cell. I was in there with the the skid row junkies, prostitutes…let’s just say there were some crustyy folks in there. and they were leaking) plus I got 30 days of Community service (sweeping up cigarette butts and used condoms in WeHo,–yeah, I got lucky. weho was the “nicest” job assignment. along with the classes, and a Hospital and Morgue program. It cost about 6 grand, total. (for me, a lot of money to shell out)
    Guess how many DUI’s (or ANY run-in’s with the law) I’ve had since then?
    Why? Because I had to deal with the consequences of my actions. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it felt unfair. Yes, i felt sorry for myself for a long time. But the fact is, I am here. I am alive, and I haven’t driven drunk since then. I was scared straight.
    I couldn’t just throw money at the problem and make it disappear.
    But, because of that, I learned a lot and I’m a better person for it today.
    I’m curious to see what some time alone will do for her. hopefully she can dig deep and sort through her stories and bullshit. Maybe it’ll make her a better actor. probably not.

    • I hope you don’t find it inappropriate if I hoist one on your behalf this evening.

      Hoping LiLo does the time…..don’t OD honey. Stick around & do some porn for your adoring fans.

    • LJ

      Ms. Lohan was placed on probation in 2007 after she pleaded guilty to two counts of being under the influence of cocaine, no contest to two counts of drunken driving and one count of reckless driving.

      In October of 2009 Lohan had completed only 15 of 26 individual alcohol classes, 13 of 26 group alcohol classes, 13 of 28 self-help sessions and all six education classes that she was sentenced to complete by October 2009. She received an extension to complete those classes by July 2010.

      She has still not completed those classes, and yet in her plea in court before the judge she sobbed that she didn’t take the proceedings as a joke (while having “fuck you” painted on her fingernail). .

      It’s so obvious that she is a drug addict and an alcoholic in need of help, and it is also obvious that if you were to look up “enabler” in the dictionary you would find a picture of her mother. Her father rounds out the dysfunctional family as a convicted felon and drunk.

      Her jail sentence can perhaps teach her that actions have consequences. Her mandatory Rehab can perhaps keep her sober, and teach her honesty and humility.

    • Damn, Admiral, what a great post. Aside from the legal fees and fines, there’s the fun of the LA bus system and having to explain why you can’t drive yourself to work or anywhere else. If anyone needs a reality check like that, it’s Lilo. But with Dina denying and enabling her behavior, the type of experience you got so much out of probably won’t “take.”

      As you said, the reason it changed you isn’t the fear of punishment per se – it was because it make you think and you stopped bullshitting yourself with excuses. Years ago a friend of mine also did the DUI jail time, community service, fines and biking to work. And he’s now a former friend because he continues to drive drunk – he thinks he’s invincible and it’s the system’s fault for putting unreasonable restrictions on him because he can handle his booze. So be careful out there.

  29. Gando

    I’d sense here two morons having a pact just to feed and maintain their moronism.

  30. Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Does LL’s mom have freckled tits, too? Come on mommy Lohan, pop out those bad boys so we can compare, contrast, discuss. Otherwise, STF up and go away.

  31. Just A Horny Dude

    I’d let her blow me, for sure. Maybe I’d screw her too, if she lubed herself up first with her fingers. Yeah baby!

  32. MizM

    The final karma for them is to be in an accident caused by a drunk driver. Lindsey and mom will survive the accident but end up in a wheelchair and on a ventilator i.e.: Christopher Reeve

  33. Nero

    Who dat cutie?!

  34. Tgnome

    “right before her tossed in jail” You need to correct that sentence.

  35. SappySap

    Look at all the Melanoma flaking off that dessicated chest like pepper flakes! NASTY.

  36. anonym

    this bitch is disgusting.

    and you know lindsay will be looking like that too in 10 years.

    i almost can’t tell the mom and lilo apart

  37. What a delusional famewhore

    No wonder delusional famewhore white oprah is spouting verbal diareaha about shit she knows nothing about; her mealticket is about to go to jail & she can’t stop it. So, she bitches like a crack whore looking for that next hit. If not for lindsay making some money off of her disney films, white oprah would be sucking random dudes dicks in a dark back alleyway for rent money…

  38. Jerseys

    Dina acts like missing DUI classes is nothing, DUI’s are serious and kill. Terrible parenting. Just terrible.

  39. tard

    She should open up a rehab facility. She should go to college/university and dedicate her life to it.
    Mind you I imagine it is just a “speed” filled conversation on how she can control her own future as she would own it and spend a lot of time there. Kinda like owning your own jail when you expect to be spending a lot of time there.
    Ah whatever, tick tock.

  40. Paul

    Dina is a pathetic ho that’s looking for a quick get rich solution. She will end up on the end of some rich man’s Dick.

    • justifiable

      She wishes. It ain’t gonna happen – well, not unless the rich gyuy is a pedo who’ll fuck her just to get close to Ali.

  41. captain america

    this freckeled monster is a mother?


    Hey stupid fucking big fat ass bitch lora: FUCK OFF. If you can’t even post on topic, then please eat a full bag of shit, get a rare painful disease & die a slow horrible death, you cunt.

  43. Oi McClure

    Damn, that is an ugly woman. She looks like a burn victim and she needs a longer nose and smaller teeth.

  44. Sizzle

    Words cannot express how stone-stupid I think these two are. But, like everyone else, I keep reading about them because I love staring at the train wreck that is Lindsay Lohan. Does she even realize she’s only “famous” for being a drugged-up almost-has-been?

  45. Jes

    Is she serious? Drinking and driving isn’t a violent crime? Would it have been a violent crime if Lindsay had have KILLED someone? Then what, she shouldn’t get jail? Pretty sure driving drunk is the same as operating a deadly weapon drunk. Idiot.

    Yeah, let’s have Lindsay open a rehab center when she can’t even stay clean herself. This family is a mess. I’d say here comes the next Marilyn Monroe, but it’s more like the next Anna Nicole.

  46. sam
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have stopped tanning years ago. Yeah, she’s 47, but she’s got the chest skin of a 70-year-old. And the skin on her face just looks… wrong. Too tanned and too botoxed. And those eyebrows — what the hell?

  47. Zlen

    “If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd.”

    What the hell is wrong with this family? Thinking she did nothing wrong is enough already, now DUI is not serious? Can someone please just take their brains out? Maybe that’ll help them..

    And btw, I wont be surprised if Lilo would look like this crocodile chested lady in years to come. Well, why not its genetics.. Actually no, LILO might look worse, starting with that lips of hers.

  48. No one
    Commented on this photo:

    What a sad woman, who truly needs to get a life…

  49. Burt

    “She went to rehab before the court ordered her. When I put my daughter in rehab, I knew she needed it. In 2007 — not currently.”

    Oddly enough, she just checked into rehab. Yeah, someone’s definitely lying. Question is, who is it?

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