Derek Jeter: ‘Thanks For Banging Me, There’s A Gift Bag Out In The Car’

“What? Hickory Farms is expensive shit.”

When Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly broke up, pretty much everyone assumed he’d just starting banging random women at will because he’s a deep reservoir of emotion. Turns out he’s not only been doing that, he’s been doing it in the most dickishly awesome way possible. The New York Post reports:

The Yankees captain’s wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kiss-offs came to light when he mistakenly pulled the stunt twice on the same woman — forgetting she had been an earlier conquest, a pal told The Post.
“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.
“This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said.
“He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!”

So not only is Derek Jeter immediately shoving women out the door in the morning, he’s thanking them with autographed trinkets he has laying around his apartment. “Hey, last night was really great. Which is why I want you to have this, uh.. bobblehead autographed by the 2008 Yankees. May it forever symbolize- Oh, thank fuck, the car’s here. Christ, dude, I had to talk to this one.”

Photos: Getty, Bauer-Griffin