Courtney Stodden Says She Has A Sex Tape Now.
Of Course.

May 17th, 2013 // 62 Comments
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For reasons that I’m sure have nothing to do with a former Teen Mom star squirting all over James Deen being a popular topic for roughly 7-10 days, Courtney Stodden now says she made a sex tape. Only it’s apparently just of her masturbating and on VHS because she’s 47 and knows what VHS is. E! News reports:

The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is “not out in the media” nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up.
“Hackers, don’t even go there cause you’ll find nothing,” Doug Hutchison’s wife tells us about poking around her computer.
As for what’s on the tape, it’s “just me,” she claims, adding that it wasn’t shot too long ago. “I turned 18 in August, so you do the math.”

Ha! Nice try, Courtney Stodden, but it’s going to take a lot more than pretending to have a sex tape to make the Internet start writing about you agai– Goddammit.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN

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  1. elephantman

    I’d hit it. Not proud but I’d still hit it.

  2. At least we won’t have to see Doug Hutchison’s (what one can only assume is a) weird shaped-dick.

  3. Because every little girl wants to look like a coked-out 50 year old when she grows up.

  4. The Illuminati Did It!

    Only eighteen and already has the hands of a forty-five-year-old. Good job Courtney!

  5. JC

    So, we can watch thousands, if not millions, of young, hot chicks diddling themselves on the internet, or we can beg some 47-year-old piece of leather to please-oh-pretty-please release her video, during which she probably talks? Um….

  6. Ugh … that fucking hideous “arm thing” again. She’s been following Shauna Sand around … stripper heals at the beach. Brilliant. *sticks finger down throat* FFS at least match the face to the body make-up … no ??

  7. There is neither an original thought in her head, nor an original part in her body.

  8. Pullleese … I’d actually rather read about how Kanye has fucked up his life by sticking his penis into Kim Kardashian, lol !!

  9. Sandoucheky

    She needs to go on Howard Stern NOW

  10. Cock Dr

    Nice job matching the makeup foundation to the fake bake tan.

  11. Deacon Jones

    I’d definitely watch it. I’m disappointed though, I’d like to see her taking about 5-6 loads to the face….

    “Don’t do me like that nooo, don’t do me like that nooo, no, no, no, no”

  12. Snooki's Taint

    This is what Pamela Anderson will look like in a few years when the ravenges of Hep C catch up with her.

  13. Courtney, you idiot. You were supposed to wish for the *portrait* to age and *you* to stay young.

  14. *Sigh* Tell me where it is so I can fap to it.

  15. inkydink

    why does she pad her boobs like that? it looks so fake. half her boobs are padding.

  16. I don’t think I’d be surprised if she was as blown out as Farrah.

  17. Cher X

    Dried up hag at 18.

  18. Yes, let’s do the math…she says she turned 18 in august, so that means this tape would have been made when she was approximately 42 years old.

  19. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    18 years old? Sounds legit to me.

  20. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Used.

  21. If her clothes werent always so tight I would SWEAR it’s a hermaphrodite. Still – maybe doing the fold under or something?

  22. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    No guys, it’s cool. See, she has interchangeable heads, so you can take this one off, and replace it with something attractive. They always put the bad head on the floor model.

  23. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden, shown here shortly before meeting up with her besties Joey Heatherton and Ann Margeret for dinner.

  24. Come on guys, give sweet Courtney a break. She’s probably telling the truth when she says she turned 18 in August. That she doesn’t say August of WHAT YEAR is another story, but she’s probably being truthful in saying becoming 18 in *a* August.

  25. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 40.

    I wonder how long she takes everyday to stuff her bra. It requires lots of skill to make B cups look like DD.

  26. tom

    That girl is fucked beyond repair :(

  27. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m ashamed to say I get it up for this “girl”. In a dirty, disgusting, “I want to fuck failure and desperation and see the fake tan drip off its 60 year old leathery body” kind of way, but I still get it up. Same thing with Lindsay Lohan.

  28. Doug Hutchison has got to be a bad golfer since his penis probably hooks left.

  29. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying too hard.

  30. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Lissa
    Commented on this photo:

    I never did think she was 16 when she married that guy, but now she looks 50.

  31. cc

    I hear the bidding for the rights to release it started at $1 and ended at ‘the Creamsicle that’s been sitting in the back of the freezer since last August’.

  32. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Laila
    Commented on this photo:

    protip: use concealer that is a similar color to your skin

  33. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her sweat sock boobs are shifting

  34. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    low rent.

  35. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take the mom over the dysfunctional daughter with no hesitation.

  36. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    El
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like someone attached 40 year old’s head to a 40 year old’s body.

  37. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Stewie
    Commented on this photo:

    When she mentions VHS she means Very Hard Silicon.

  38. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom” looks younger than the golf club lot lizard on the right.

  39. Lalala

    I don’t she has one. She’s probably only saying it for attention after seeing how much attention Farrah Abra-slut got. She’s lying, just like she lied on how her boobs were real. Oh yes, they were real, along with the 10 lbs of padding that went with them.

  40. pipslap

    Some should tell this child that these iconic sex symbols she is so desperate to be like 1. Were never orange and 2. Didn’t have to try so fucking hard.

  41. kery

    This girl is so confused, and where are her parents ?

  42. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    Brainless cunts.

  43. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    It would be fun for a hour

  44. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Sizzling Sexy Summer Of 2013 Seminar
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m in love.

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