Courtney Stodden’s Next Step Is Porn

November 13th, 2013 // 98 Comments
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In the aftermath of Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison‘s “separation,” there’ve been endless reports about why they broke up, if they were even in a relationship to begin with, and what happens next. Except all you really need to know is that Vivid’s Steven Hirsch told E! News that Courtney Stodden was born to be a porn star because that’s exactly what’s going to happen next. Which is information I could’ve told you days ago, but I waited until I had new bikini pics of Courtney’s huge fake tits so you could look at them and go, “Yup, those will be in porn,” without bothering to read a single word of whatever the hell I’m writing down here. Something about porn babies? I can’t keep track of these things.

Photos: Glen McCurtayne/Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Convex

    Of course she was born to be a porn star. After a few modifications, such as having her mouth surgically shaped into a big “O,” she’s now ready for her close-up.

  2. Is Zimmerman Writing This Crap?

    She’ll have to plaster the makeup on those ta-tas. She probably has more stretch marks on those tits than Gabrielle Sadibe.

  3. mx3

    i’d love to see her in a gangbang, just cause i hate her so fucking much

    • Gangbangs are too sophisticated for her. She’s more gokkun / bukkake material.

      • Yes, I think she needs a full degradation video. Nothing better than gangbang facials. Watching their face change from “ohhhh, Im enjoying this” to “what did I do to my life” after the 7 dick squirts on their forehead.

        lol

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    She just oozes class.

  5. Bob

    bring Heidi back instead of this joke!

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lips are so big she can’t close her mouth. Perfect for porn.

  7. I eagerly await this porn. Something tells me she’s a total dead fish in bed though.

  8. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    tuck in the tag, idiot.

  9. When Hirsch said she was born to be a porn star, I’m pretty sure he meant she’s unemployable in any respectable job, dumb as a sack of doorknobs, and the only value she has to offer the universe is in soaking up semen with her face before it stains a black pleather couch.

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope you are referring to the free, online porn.
    Because the thought of anyone paying to see this tranny have sex frightens me.

  11. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    getting a blowjob from her would be like fucking a carp in it’s mouth hole. So it would probably be awesome.

  12. ruckus

    She is way to old to be doing porn.

  13. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    You really have to wonder how many times her daddy raped her when she was a child.

  14. Inner Retard

    Some words never thought I’ll put together: How dare she sully the name of porn with her involvement.

  15. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    SirLicksALot
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, she got her lips done, she is now the most perfect girl in Hollywood. If I had a daughter, I would want her to be exactly like Ms Stodden. She is wonderful!

  16. As haggard as she looks now, I am terrified to see what she’ll look like after a few years of the business will do to her.

  17. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    not audible : “BRRAAAHHHMMMMMM” from both ends

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    Anybody seen Andrew McCarthy hanging around? This is clearly a blow up doll who’s come to life.

  19. Wasn’t she already auditioning for porn two years ago?

  20. She was cute in the beginning, had her own look, now she looks like every other low-rent, So Cal blonde pornstar.

  21. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! As Seen on TV! Bimbo the Big Mouthed Bass. Push the button and see what stupid stuff spews out and into her mouth.

  22. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    lol, I was just thinking if that was the face she made when he grabbed them

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Fancy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a price tag sticking out of her bra top? If yes, is it for the “bikini” or how much she charges per night?

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Raino
    Commented on this photo:

    Ick. I assume that’s some kind of bronzer stain in that bottom?

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    fromage
    Commented on this photo:

    Franken-slut. (New Sci-Fi Channel movie).

  26. johnny p!

    If you zoom in on the washing instructions label sticking out of her left “breast” (hah! who am I kidding!) bikini cup, you can barely make out something about ‘hand washing’, ‘cold water only’, something about ‘removing blood/semen stains’, and ‘hang dry only’.
    Oh, and it was made in China.

  27. I have the title “Billy the Big Mouth Bass Does Porn”. You’re welcome.

  28. Who wants to see a Stodden Porn?

    Anybody?

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, this is ridiculous. I’m outta here” – The Tag

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She bought every blonde hair extension available at her local Walmart.
    Because Courtney understands that excess is always better.

  31. Her next career move will be a leaked four camera private sex tape starring Courtney and her new boyfriend, Ron Jeremy.

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Dean James
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently no one has yet noticed the crap stains in photo number 11.

  33. Deacon Jones

    I admit it, I masturbated to her “Dont Do Me Like That” video and Ive had the song in my head for years now.

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    I see this photo and I figure there has to be some low frequency hum of stupid coming from her mouth.

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she and that Farrah bimbo made a tape and smashed their implants together that might be what’s needed to bring forth Satan and usher in a thousand years of despair and darkness.
    Satan could be in the tape too but he’ll insist on top billing.

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    MOUTH LIKE ANUS

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    Take away the bowling ball fake boobs and the horrible facial plastic surgery and the lip implants and the hair extensions and the mental disorder and she’s a WINNER!

  38. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    PLEASE DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP

  39. Say What

    It’s like Pinocchio turning into a real boy, except it’s a blow up doll turning into a real porn star.

  40. Mike

    Please, more Jennifer Lawrence stories, Fish Boy?

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, guys – is this attractive? She looks like a fucking duck.

  42. Wow

    She can win a looot of money with those purple tits. Nobody else has purple tits!

  43. “next step is porn” ? dressed like that, her only step is porn.

  44. alex

    How long before Heidi, Courtney, Farrah and Ringo get back together?

  45. Mary Feeney

    You take dog poop, cover it with icing, embellish it with sprinkles and candies, etc., and put it on display. Many people who like sweets and who don’t know what’s under the icing will think it looks yummy. But in reality it’s a piece of shit. It’s appearance as something sweet to eat is “superficial.”

  46. cc

    Hmph, I didn’t realize until now that she had a cleft palate.

  47. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the new Bumbehead Whore board game and she just got the card that takes you past ‘Porn’ straight to ‘Busted Jenna Jameson’

    (Get this in time for Christmas! Order now at 1-800-FUCKWIT)

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    bo
    Commented on this photo:

    bitch is on the rag!

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    never in a million years… would i have thought there was a new lindsay lohan who was younger and fresher, cleaner and more whorish
    this one is just gonna step in and take lindsay lohans place whereever, first some additional surgery of course and then she’ll take over what career remnants the lohan wreck left behind in a sea of drugs…

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Squeezing Tits Together Ducklips
    Wow
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s menstruating. She’s got the age to be menstruating, right?

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