Somehow we missed these pics of Courtney Stodden jogging in heels, but that’s in the past now, so let’s focus on two things that immediately jump out here:
1. Apparently Courtney Stodden needs a bodyguard now. And not just any bodyguard, but one who clearly learned his trade at the Borrow Your Dad’s Suit School of Personal Protection/Space Camp.
2. For someone who’s hitching her child bride star to PETA’s wagon, Courtney might want to stop dyeing her pets pink. Yes, God fucked up making them not pink, but her new BFFs might get super jelly and kick her out of their club like jelly bitches.
And now the part where we mine her Twitter for gold:
- Softly sipping on a sweet morning mocha while sitting over the sensational city of Los Angeles – What a serene start to a Saturday… muah!
- Slowly slipping into an elegant evening gown, sumptuous stiletto slippers & dazzling diamonds as I anticipate this sexy Sunday evening. XOs
- Flaunting very flirty flight attendant attire tonight — Are you ready to fly first-class?
- You’re one hot hand job, Howie Hilton!
Alliteratively awesome as alwa- Wait, Howie Hilton? Did she just jerk off an imaginary friend? God, I love this kid.
Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner
Looks like they’re finally starting the 3-D reboot of “Barb Wire.”
She’s all but begging PETA to ask her to shoot naked, just so she can decline and declare it’s against her so high morals and love of Jesus.
What you talk….
She’ll be naked as soon as they offer and then will purposely get herself photographed wearing fur to be “provocative”.
Not that she can spell the word, or even knows what the hell it means….
Their still trying to figure out how too make her 50yr old body look 18.
more importantly than a 65 year old woman jogging in heels, who is the douche baggery next to her in that oversized suit. jesus christ this chick is just, gross looking.
Douche Bag, That was my 1st thought when I saw this bloke to hah
This is the best pic ever.
A lot of bodyguards wear baggy suits so they can hide firearms, etc. on a belt under it.
If you have seen secret service around the president at a campaign rally they could be hiding a submachine gun under there… and probably are.
This guy is just probably an asshole with an ill fitting suit though.
The “bodyguard” is actually her brother. I’m ashamed to admit I know this.
someone should tell here there is a difference between not eating meat and not eating at all.
Oh she eats aged meat alright.
She’s a dumb skank hoe, but she’s not that thin. She looks pretty healthy. Admit it, we’d all love to have a body like that.
When does she turn 18 so we can stop caring about her?
Feel free to stop caring about her now.
12 years ago. Any amount of time you spent caring about her over the last year or so has already been wasted.
That dude is her ex-boyfriend from her hometown ahahaha.
You just know this was done in slow motion.
It would have been better had fish linked the theme from “The Six-Million Dollar Man”. You could also make a case for the sound effect used when Col. Steve Austin would run fast.
Yeah, those stripper heels aren’t doing any damage to her feet, eh? And — is that fucking ugly pooch dyed PINK?
You can’t put your foot flat on the pavement when you are wearing heels. Just sayin’
Bodyguard eh? He doesn’t look as if he could defend that dog if a cat jumped out at them from the bushes.
Who’s she kidding….that’s the guy she fucks when the old dude is sleeping or out making a run for more booze, smokes and thongs.
So, if you need discreet security for your nearly naked jog down the street, call Blues Brothers Security.
“We’re on a mission from God. Or a coffee run. Whatev’s.”
Can’t run faster than an STD.
Ghastly little cunt.
oh my god i love that phrase…
I like his comically oversized suit
haha, I agree best picture ever!
Her bodyguard looks like a chunky Justin Long
lmao!
The man in the monkey suit is most likely her brother, dressed stupidly like a body guard to make it look like she is IMPORTANT enough to need one….
Why is her cunt mound so fucking huge? Like she’s got a 70′s ginormous bush.
“Homeward Bound 3: The Incredibly Stupid Journey”
I imagine her voice over will be done by one of those wind-up monkeys that bangs cymbals together.
Will you please stop publishing those fake paparazzi pictures ? No one cares about that fake bitch.
I really can’t stand her but I wouldn’t mind givin it a little ride!
There’s so much about this series of pictures that is ridiculous, it’s hard to know where to start. The ugly quadrupedal dog, the pink dye job, the absurd bipedal blond, the clear lucite stripper heals…
I think my money is on the bodyguard though. I mean, Dinklage would fill that suit out better (and look a lot better doing it). And, unless he is either packing heat or knows some wicked ass martial art, I have to wonder what it is she thinks he’s going to protect her from…a kid on a tricycle?
Well said.
What a fucken retard period! Poor dog…. Looks like they just grabbed that dog from a shelter and ASAP applied pink spray paint on it ! Seriously I’m having flashbacks to a great band called “Talking Heads”. David Byrne would come out with that enormous suit singing cools songs moving like an epileptic. This guys is like 31+ yrs too late and not cool in anyway…………..
The “bodyguard” looks like a kid playing dress-up in his fathers clothes.
That suit is flat-out fucking hilarious.
Hey, has anyone seen “The Cooler” with William H. Macy? In the extras they show how they change him from a sad-sack loser in the beginning of the film to the self-confident go-getter towards the end. He wore the same style of suit throughout the whole thing, except it was too big and baggy at the beginning and they just tailored it better and better as the transformation progressed. Very clever trick, I thought.
But yeah, this guy’s beyond help.
Who?
The worst ass
Yeah, the pink tail and boots really ruin the curves.
This is full of face palms of epic proportions.
SNL’s pay isn’t very good. It’s too bad Fred Armisen has to moonlight as a bodyguard to afford his hipster glasses.
The pink dog is the obvious low hanging fruit, but what about her hair? Looks like it came out of some anime or naruto cartoon.
Pull that idiot’s sack suit over his head hockey jersey-style and then beat the shit out of him.
I absolutely love the dog in this picture. He’s(?) all, “Look at me! It’s my time in the spot light! I am fabulously PINK!”
I didn’t think it was possible for chicks to be douchebags.
I think it was a gender specific term for guys when used outside of it’s feminine hygiene meaning.
Anyway, I was wrong. Jogging in faux glass high heels instantly puts you in the “douchebag” category.
Douchebagette?
Fletch, I think that’s what they call the bread you use to sop up the excess vinegar and water.
douchette works
But she’s barefoot?
OMG SOME BODY SAVE THAT POOR PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
Ew, she’s back. Again.
Who the fuck is that guy? I recognize him from one of her music videos, of like, 2+ years ago?
OMG she is so stupid looking…she looks like she’s 50 already…OH…and I am sure PETA will be thrilled with what she did to that poor dog…pink hair…do you see that PETA??!!
actually her dog looks pretty happy in this one
Are you sure that’s a dog? The little one, I mean. We already know the big one is.
Which begs the question: Is Courtney Stodden walking a dog considered redundant?
Orange Lolita.
Low-Class.
She can afford a “bodyguard” but not a dye job?
Holy crap that’s funny. Someone’s gonna take that guy down just because they can and he looks like that.
When will you idiots learn to stop taking pictures of this unibrow crusty orange skinned nightmare and her hobbit I look like cory haim on crack dying of AIDS which is weird because cory haim did crack husband…. Really running in heels you the paparazzi keep people like her famous by photographing her doing this staged crap… In China this woman wouldnt even be allowed to breathe….. Please make her go away….
From the east-side Jablowmes?
So, is this Russell Brand’s next wife? I think they’d be perfect together. Together in a sealed box, buried in a junkyard kind of “perfect”.
I hope she is jogging in Bronson Canyon Park. Too soon?
nope.
Who the F is this? That Heidi Spidey chick?
Anyone notice the white “spot” on her foot? And how about some actual running shoes? If your just going to hold your heels, why even wear them to begin with? Barefoot on a road is almost as nasty as she is
swiftly swaying my sexy stiletto’s while seductivly securing the grasp on my sassy salmon shaded pooch.
teehee!
Justin Long’s career really took a nosedive.