Courtney Stodden’s Still Alive, Jogging in Heels

Somehow we missed these pics of Courtney Stodden jogging in heels, but that’s in the past now, so let’s focus on two things that immediately jump out here:

1. Apparently Courtney Stodden needs a bodyguard now. And not just any bodyguard, but one who clearly learned his trade at the Borrow Your Dad’s Suit School of Personal Protection/Space Camp.

2. For someone who’s hitching her child bride star to PETA’s wagon, Courtney might want to stop dyeing her pets pink. Yes, God fucked up making them not pink, but her new BFFs might get super jelly and kick her out of their club like jelly bitches.

And now the part where we mine her Twitter for gold:

- Softly sipping on a sweet morning mocha while sitting over the sensational city of Los Angeles – What a serene start to a Saturday… muah!
– Slowly slipping into an elegant evening gown, sumptuous stiletto slippers & dazzling diamonds as I anticipate this sexy Sunday evening. XOs
– Flaunting very flirty flight attendant attire tonight — Are you ready to fly first-class?
– You’re one hot hand job, Howie Hilton!

Alliteratively awesome as alwa- Wait, Howie Hilton? Did she just jerk off an imaginary friend? God, I love this kid.

Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner