Courtney Stodden’s Still Alive, Jogging in Heels

January 20th, 2012 // 138 Comments
Church Cleavage Courtney
Courtney Stodden
Onward, Christian Soldier Read More »

Somehow we missed these pics of Courtney Stodden jogging in heels, but that’s in the past now, so let’s focus on two things that immediately jump out here:

1. Apparently Courtney Stodden needs a bodyguard now. And not just any bodyguard, but one who clearly learned his trade at the Borrow Your Dad’s Suit School of Personal Protection/Space Camp.

2. For someone who’s hitching her child bride star to PETA’s wagon, Courtney might want to stop dyeing her pets pink. Yes, God fucked up making them not pink, but her new BFFs might get super jelly and kick her out of their club like jelly bitches.

And now the part where we mine her Twitter for gold:

- Softly sipping on a sweet morning mocha while sitting over the sensational city of Los Angeles – What a serene start to a Saturday… muah!
- Slowly slipping into an elegant evening gown, sumptuous stiletto slippers & dazzling diamonds as I anticipate this sexy Sunday evening. XOs
- Flaunting very flirty flight attendant attire tonight — Are you ready to fly first-class?
- You’re one hot hand job, Howie Hilton!

Alliteratively awesome as alwa- Wait, Howie Hilton? Did she just jerk off an imaginary friend? God, I love this kid.

Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they’re finally starting the 3-D reboot of “Barb Wire.”

  2. Dee

    She’s all but begging PETA to ask her to shoot naked, just so she can decline and declare it’s against her so high morals and love of Jesus.

    • Cher X

      What you talk….

      She’ll be naked as soon as they offer and then will purposely get herself photographed wearing fur to be “provocative”.

      Not that she can spell the word, or even knows what the hell it means….

    • BigDaddy

      Their still trying to figure out how too make her 50yr old body look 18.

  3. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    more importantly than a 65 year old woman jogging in heels, who is the douche baggery next to her in that oversized suit. jesus christ this chick is just, gross looking.

  4. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the best pic ever.

  5. Dan

    A lot of bodyguards wear baggy suits so they can hide firearms, etc. on a belt under it.

    If you have seen secret service around the president at a campaign rally they could be hiding a submachine gun under there… and probably are.

    This guy is just probably an asshole with an ill fitting suit though.

  6. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Derp
    Commented on this photo:

    someone should tell here there is a difference between not eating meat and not eating at all.

  7. Carles

    When does she turn 18 so we can stop caring about her?

  8. court

    That dude is her ex-boyfriend from her hometown ahahaha.

  9. You just know this was done in slow motion.

    • It would have been better had fish linked the theme from “The Six-Million Dollar Man”. You could also make a case for the sound effect used when Col. Steve Austin would run fast.

  10. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, those stripper heels aren’t doing any damage to her feet, eh? And — is that fucking ugly pooch dyed PINK?

  11. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bodyguard eh? He doesn’t look as if he could defend that dog if a cat jumped out at them from the bushes.
    Who’s she kidding….that’s the guy she fucks when the old dude is sleeping or out making a run for more booze, smokes and thongs.

  12. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    So, if you need discreet security for your nearly naked jog down the street, call Blues Brothers Security.

    “We’re on a mission from God. Or a coffee run. Whatev’s.”

  13. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t run faster than an STD.

  14. Ghastly little cunt.

  15. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    I like his comically oversized suit

  16. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    haha, I agree best picture ever!

  17. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Lou
    Commented on this photo:

    Her bodyguard looks like a chunky Justin Long

  18. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    The man in the monkey suit is most likely her brother, dressed stupidly like a body guard to make it look like she is IMPORTANT enough to need one….

  19. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Jaba
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is her cunt mound so fucking huge? Like she’s got a 70′s ginormous bush.

  20. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    “Homeward Bound 3: The Incredibly Stupid Journey”

    I imagine her voice over will be done by one of those wind-up monkeys that bangs cymbals together.

  21. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Will you please stop publishing those fake paparazzi pictures ? No one cares about that fake bitch.

  22. elephantman

    I really can’t stand her but I wouldn’t mind givin it a little ride!

  23. cc

    There’s so much about this series of pictures that is ridiculous, it’s hard to know where to start. The ugly quadrupedal dog, the pink dye job, the absurd bipedal blond, the clear lucite stripper heals…

    I think my money is on the bodyguard though. I mean, Dinklage would fill that suit out better (and look a lot better doing it). And, unless he is either packing heat or knows some wicked ass martial art, I have to wonder what it is she thinks he’s going to protect her from…a kid on a tricycle?

  24. God is Black

    What a fucken retard period! Poor dog…. Looks like they just grabbed that dog from a shelter and ASAP applied pink spray paint on it ! Seriously I’m having flashbacks to a great band called “Talking Heads”. David Byrne would come out with that enormous suit singing cools songs moving like an epileptic. This guys is like 31+ yrs too late and not cool in anyway…………..

  25. Grand Dragon

    The “bodyguard” looks like a kid playing dress-up in his fathers clothes.

  26. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    That suit is flat-out fucking hilarious.

    Hey, has anyone seen “The Cooler” with William H. Macy? In the extras they show how they change him from a sad-sack loser in the beginning of the film to the self-confident go-getter towards the end. He wore the same style of suit throughout the whole thing, except it was too big and baggy at the beginning and they just tailored it better and better as the transformation progressed. Very clever trick, I thought.

    But yeah, this guy’s beyond help.

  27. King Diamond

    Who?

  28. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    The worst ass

  29. Sheppy

    This is full of face palms of epic proportions.

  30. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    SNL’s pay isn’t very good. It’s too bad Fred Armisen has to moonlight as a bodyguard to afford his hipster glasses.

  31. Snack pack

    The pink dog is the obvious low hanging fruit, but what about her hair? Looks like it came out of some anime or naruto cartoon.

  32. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Pull that idiot’s sack suit over his head hockey jersey-style and then beat the shit out of him.

  33. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    I absolutely love the dog in this picture. He’s(?) all, “Look at me! It’s my time in the spot light! I am fabulously PINK!”

  34. The Royal Penis

    I didn’t think it was possible for chicks to be douchebags.

    I think it was a gender specific term for guys when used outside of it’s feminine hygiene meaning.

    Anyway, I was wrong. Jogging in faux glass high heels instantly puts you in the “douchebag” category.

  35. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Ruth
    Commented on this photo:

    But she’s barefoot?

  36. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    pretty vacant
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG SOME BODY SAVE THAT POOR PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew, she’s back. Again.

  38. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the fuck is that guy? I recognize him from one of her music videos, of like, 2+ years ago?

  39. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG she is so stupid looking…she looks like she’s 50 already…OH…and I am sure PETA will be thrilled with what she did to that poor dog…pink hair…do you see that PETA??!!

  40. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Orange Lolita.

  41. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Low-Class.

  42. aaw

    She can afford a “bodyguard” but not a dye job?

  43. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    vekfan
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap that’s funny. Someone’s gonna take that guy down just because they can and he looks like that.

  44. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    heywood
    Commented on this photo:

    When will you idiots learn to stop taking pictures of this unibrow crusty orange skinned nightmare and her hobbit I look like cory haim on crack dying of AIDS which is weird because cory haim did crack husband…. Really running in heels you the paparazzi keep people like her famous by photographing her doing this staged crap… In China this woman wouldnt even be allowed to breathe….. Please make her go away….

  45. Crabby Old Guy

    So, is this Russell Brand’s next wife? I think they’d be perfect together. Together in a sealed box, buried in a junkyard kind of “perfect”.

  46. TetterkeT

    I hope she is jogging in Bronson Canyon Park. Too soon?

  47. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Bot
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the F is this? That Heidi Spidey chick?

  48. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    jj
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone notice the white “spot” on her foot? And how about some actual running shoes? If your just going to hold your heels, why even wear them to begin with? Barefoot on a road is almost as nasty as she is

  49. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    Britt
    Commented on this photo:

    swiftly swaying my sexy stiletto’s while seductivly securing the grasp on my sassy salmon shaded pooch.

  50. Courtney Stodden Heels Shorts Jogging
    peter pantsless
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Long’s career really took a nosedive.

Leave A Comment