Courtney Stodden Told 14-Year-Old Ariel Winter To Marry Her 18-Year-Old Boyfriend, Of Course

November 13th, 2012 // 88 Comments
Previously On Courtney
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For everyone whose job doesn’t involve wearing pajama pants and reading TMZ all day, 14-year-old Modern Family star Ariel Winter emancipated herself from her, by all accounts, abusive, controlling stage mom and moved in with her sister who had to emancipate herself at the same age to escape similar abuse. In response, Ariel’s mother has claimed the whole thing is because Ariel’s having sex with an 18-year-old boyfriend, so naturally some paparazzi thought it’d be cute to ask Courtney Stodden for advice on the matter because she’s also in a relationship where the sex is fictional. And, oh yeah, something about age. Radar Online reports:

Out in Hollywood Saturday night, Courtney was asked to share her wisdom about older men with Ariel.
Stodden was obviously confused at first, not seeming to have any idea who Ariel is.
Fortunately, husband Doug, was there to fill her in, helping Courtney come up with a good answer.
“I think it’s awesome! As long as they’re in love, it’s okay,” Courtney said with great enthusiasm.
“They should get married!”

Elmo’s also embroiled in a situation with a younger man, so The Superficial reached out to him for his advice:

“Elmo not know what you’re talking about. Elmo just want man’s hand out of Elmo’s butt. Why are you not helping Elmo? Elmo sees your phone has numbers 9 and 1 on it to call police. Please don’t walk away from Elmo. ELMO FIND YOU!”

Words to live by, Ariel. Words to live by.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Her left tit is older than the girl she is “advising.”

    • Shoebacca

      Pretty sure this latest pair is only about four years old. It was a grad gift from Dougie for finishing her home-schooled Christian Online Academy. (no lie – she really did that).

  2. Cause if you’re going to take advice from anybody, it’s Courtney Stodden. Abusive stage moms are hilarious. 2 daughters dropping your ass at 14 means you’re the problem, not them.

  3. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She was invited to an event?

    Guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    Nasty ass slunt. Just seeing her picture will stop me from fantasizing about banging women in their mid 30s for the rest of day.

  5. The Most Interesting

    “Elmo knows where you live!”

  6. Brett Ratner's sweaty ass hair

    WHo the hell is this insignificant dog, and why does this site keep posting pics of her?

    SHE’S UGLY AND DISGUSTING!!!

  7. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Brett Ratner's sweaty ass hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Easy there zombie legs!

    What a mug on this beast!

  8. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Brett Ratner's sweaty ass hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the crum bum with the ugly chick?

  9. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    She look like bobble-head doll here, and totally creepy.

  10. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Brett Ratner's sweaty ass hair
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he smells like pee.

  11. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Brett Ratner's sweaty ass hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Not even the tons of make up can save that face!

  12. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Tricia Lyn Scott Jayden Suede Event
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Cortney does that smile becuase she once again didn’t get the joke.

  13. Wow. Thanks for that nugget of pure, unadulterated wisdom, Professor Stodden.

  14. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That ain’t no teenager.
    There’s more milage on that than a Vietnam era army Jeep.

  15. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Kaellyn
    Commented on this photo:

    THIS is how her breasts are supposed to look like: http://i47.tinypic.com/2v2cyuo.png and in all honesty it’d look so much better like that. Wouldn’t make her bobblehead-like.. Ugh.

    • Help

      You can see the visible pads in the dress, so that’s probably exactly what her normal size is.

      • Jack Ketch

        Does “normal” size apply to fakers ? I don’t get the attempts to make them appear twice as big when they’re already fake … what’s WITH that, anyways. And those clear bra straps give me nightmares.

    • Reece

      I think its clearly obvious to most woman that her “giant breasts” are a result of a child’s poor attempt at padding her bra. Its kind of sad an pathetic. Not the fact that shes padding her bra, but the fact that shes doing it so badly. smh

  16. Deacon Jones

    Once they get divorced, there is nothing, NOTHING holding her back from going 100 MPH headfirst into filming “Courtney’s 1st Gangbang Facial” within the first couple weeks. And I’d watch it, just for the comedy factor alone.

  17. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Kaellyn
    Commented on this photo:

    You’ve gotta be kidding me.

  18. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    whoresayswhat?

  19. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Out of camera shot – bicycle pump.

  20. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Krista Keller Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Squeeze harder…they are almost out of my dress!”

  21. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Tricia Lyn Scott Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Vigina-power activate!!”

  22. elephantman

    She’s not that bad.

  23. Enidaj

    You can tell from the first pic that her boobs are at least 50% padding. A breast is not shaped that way and if she is only 18 she wouldn’t need a bra with a strapless dress.

    Also, she needs to go to posing school, she always looks like she’s constipated when posing.

  24. mike

    She married her pedo-lover, which makes her the whore expert consultant on this matter, how quaint

  25. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sniiiiiff…you got that fresh whore smell”. Just like a Starburst – it’s a contradiction.

  26. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    mouth vomit.

  27. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden looks eighteen the same way that Lindsay Lohan looks twenty-six.

  28. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad to see he dressed up for the occasion. Was his white t-shirt at the cleaners?

  29. anonymoose

    I don’t care what Stodden says or does.
    Not interested. Nothing to see here. Moving along….

  30. This might not be the most PC opinion in the world, but retards should not take advice from other retards.

    • It kind of reminds me of when I worked in the mental health field, and we had to pass out condoms because we couldnt’ stop them from banging each other and there was a chylmidia outbreak.

  31. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    What is amazing that in addition to having implants she also wears padded bras that are too large for her

  32. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Tinka
    Commented on this photo:

    Her new face is just hideous. The old Courtney was hot in her own weird, plastic and make-up filled way, but this… Ugh.

  33. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Scoliosis is no laughing matter, you guys.

  34. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Leblah
    Commented on this photo:

    Doubt it’s implants, truth be told. It’s super padded push up bras with those silicon fillers – you can double your breast size that way, but she takes it way too far. She’s gonna ruin her breast tissue that way, those things are squeezed tighter than a nun’s thighs in Vegas.

  35. cc

    Doesn’t the Hippocratic oath say something like ‘First, do no harm’? Shouldn’t that include ‘don’t turn a human being into a nasty looking mannequin’?

  36. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Is something wrong with her spine?

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      Lordosis. It’s like scoliosis except the curvature is posterior concavity rather than a lateral curvature. It’s the opposite of kyphosis, or what is colloquially called hunchback.

  37. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    (Through clenched teeth) take the fucking picture…I can’t stay like this much longer!

  38. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, their respective faces speak to the fact they just locked lips. (((shudder)))

  39. cc

    Anyone else think there’s going to be an Anna Nicole Smith-like conclusion to her life?

  40. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    FruityBooty
    Commented on this photo:

    Merrily milking men for their money…that’s how this works, right?

  41. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that . . . With a wooden baseball bat. I’m sure that would knock some sense into her.
    “Oh my god, my head! What happened? Do I have implants? Where that hell did these come from? *looks in mirror* I’ve aged 10 years! How much makeup is on my face? I used to be so young and pretty! What the- is this a wedding ring? Who the hell am I married to?”
    “Sweetheart, are you all right? Did my beautiful teen bride hurt herself?”
    “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

  42. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Tricia Lyn Scott Jayden Suede Event
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    the amount of padding she wears…. kills my brain cells

  43. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Uummmmm, for anyone who actually thinks they’re real ? Take another look …

  44. chicka

    please, I’m tired of dry-heaving over this pasty-faced cartoon… do I send you money? a first-born child? what will it take to not see her anymore? waaaahhh :’-(

  45. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Jayden Suede Event
    PeopleSuck
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG…where to start? What’s the stuff on her legs? Why is her face falling? Why is her head 5x bigger than her body? Why can’t she stand up straight. So many burning questions……..

  46. Jade

    Damn. I really like this website, but now it’ll get shut down because its posting child pornography.

    How does a girl raised in a “good christian home” grow up thinking the way a female should look 24/7 is like a porn actress from the 80′s?

  47. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Creepiest lipstick transference ever.

  48. kery

    oh leave her alone but she doesnt look like a 18 year old i dont know why ….

  49. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Doug Hutchison Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Any normal man would be skeeved out if his WIFE acted like this. This is the most disturbing thing EVER.

  50. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Tricia Lyn Scott Jayden Suede Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She has that “I’m sooooo skinny that my head looks too big for my body” look about her.

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