The Nanny Wants To Be The Bachelorette Now

Ben Affleck has bitch tits. And while I don’t specifically know what that has to do with Christine Ouzounian trying to be The Bachelorette, I just assume they have something to do with everything because God put them there for a reason. But enough about the great mysteries of life. Page Six reports:

A source tells us, “The word in LA is that Christine is looking for an agent and wants a TV deal, on something like ‘The Bachelorette’ or ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ She knows she most likely can’t go back to nannying — who in LA would hire her now to take care of their kids? So she’s going to use the spotlight to build a showbiz career.”
The source added there is a possibility that Ouzounian could try to do a TV or magazine tell-all on Affleck, but she would be prevented from discussing the actor’s private family life because of a nondisclosure agreement she would have signed before starting to care for the A-list couple’s three children, Violet, 9, Seraphina, 6, and Samuel, 3.

Because this is America, pretty much all of this is probably going to work. And if you don’t believe me, ask yourself how you know who Kim Kardashian is, and then watch as you drop something and yell “Ohmygod!” as you cover your mouth. I’ll wait.

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Photos: AKM-GSI