Christina Aguilera takes her breasts out on the town

October 17th, 2008 // 78 Comments

Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman took the big guns out for dinner at L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon restaurant in London last night. I love how Jordan’s wearing his little tux. Goddamn adorable.

JORDAN: PEW PEW PEW! I just shot that guy with my cufflink darts.
CHRISTINA: That’s nice, dear.
JORDAN: I can do that because I’m Commander James Bond, and my double “O” status with the British Secret Service allows me to kill at my discretio – why are you rubbing that waiter’s face in your breasts?
CHRISTINA: Who made sure you didn’t die a virgin?
JORDAN: Fair enough. Oh no, my salad’s working for the KGB. PEW PEW PEW!

Photos:, WENN

  1. themilkman

    FRIST! Shouldn’t it be cold in London this time of year? Cleavage is fine but let’s hope Chrisina gets a little “nippy”

  2. OJ's Mom


  3. jennifer hammond

    eeew the right one is looking kind of wonky. I think her hard looking jugs are gross.

  4. Me

    Y’know, he wouldn’t be so bad if he’d lose the facial hair, get a nosejob, and have his weak chin fixed.

    Their poor son is rather homely, too.

  5. C.A. suffering from stockholm syndrome….prove me wrong…

  6. toolboy

    Her kid is going to have a mouth like a bass from feeding on them boyeeeez. Damn that clown is hot.

  7. Livi

    She’s looking UGLY lately…

  8. good to see the boobs are having a nice evening.

  9. jonny monstikio

    why is she walking with that waiter?

  10. Rick

    I dunno, I guess breastfeeding must have gone pretty well for me as an infant, because I’ve got no sexual attraction to a woman who has big fake boobs, a pointy face with 2 inches of makeup on it, and bowed legs. I have no idea how anything other than an organ grinder monkey would think she’s sexy. Hey wait…there’s one in the pictures!

  11. CaptainMorgan

    I still can’t get the pictures of her with NO make up out of my head when I see her. She is really, really gross. Caked on make up, national geographic boobies and ugly to boot.


  12. Ugh

    Big deal… completely fake tits. You can tell by the cleavage they are totally fake.


  13. Shawna

    At # 13.

    Actually I have to disagree, it looks like she just has a really good push up bra.

  14. Danklin24

    Jesus, this two are like the most unhappy couple ever. Does Bratman have the jaw muscles required to smile? What did he do to piss off Christina. Maybe his cheesy little beard is chaffing her thighs lately.

  15. It looks like Christina’s breasts are taking her out on the town.

  16. It looks like Christina’s breasts are taking her out on the town.

  17. wanks

    pew pew pew? mr. geekologie? titties in my mouth please

  18. Joe The Plumber

    IF there was a Grammy for “Veiniest Tits” (yes, you read that correctly, most veins in the tits) then christina would finally win a grammy.

  19. Ted Mosby

    Voted Best Fake Boobs in Music.

  20. Joe Simpson

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone, who wasn’t playing a star trek alien, with more offensively obvious makeup on their face. I mean, that is just gross. She looks like a clown.

  21. They look so soft.
    Like the fuckin’ Snuggles Bear.

  22. I would splooge all over them titties.

  23. ew

    big nosed ugly with fake breasts, she is starting to look fattish.
    please show someone else with fake breasts

  24. WHQATS


  25. Zukyia

    She doesn’t look that happy, and her makeup job is pretty bad.

  26. heck man

    I don’t care if they’re fake. I wanna put my dick in between them and start humping before creaming her face

  27. sniff


    Bad skin and an obvious weave.


  29. sameshitdifferentyear

    Imagine if she didn’t get those fucking hunks of plastic shoved into her ribcage, how awesome her tits would look right now. In a tight outfit they’re okay, but the excess veins and crap are really unnecessary.

    Also, is hanging around that dude making her look more elfish? I know couples start looking like each other sometimes. She’s looking a little Middle Earth-ish all of a sudden.

  30. fumanchu

    Her tits are a bit like this whole post,,,, trying to make somethin out of nothin……….

  31. bootlips

    Big veined fake tits, a screeching voice, bowl legged, dumb as a rock, and married an ugly jew for his money.

  32. zuzuspetals

    Christina’s got some things going for her, but what the fuck is that orange makeup about? Doesn’t she have a friend that will tell her how horrendous it looks?

  33. Prof

    Hmmm tasty I’d suckle at those tits like a newborn calf! From the look on her face in the 3rd & 4th pic she’s starting to rethink the whole marriage thing!

  34. tc

    I quite like her (as a personality, singer and character).

    It also heartens me that Amercians can still allow her to be successful despite having an ugly face.

    Respect to you all over there. Perhaps you aren’t so shallow after all.

  35. CM

    They’re not fake tits, jeez. She’s wearing a push-up bra, can’t you tell the difference?

  36. Joseph

    She is really sexy. seems that she is very hot on ___< <>>>___ that is a free tall dating club. she must go there to find someone. i also saw her hot pics and videos on that web. unless you watch it, you won’t know how…she is.

  37. JT

    Usually, I hate seeing Christina’s unnatural bolt-on breasts, but they look natural here. Maybe she got them removed?

  38. JT

    CM — for many years she was photographed with disgusting silicone bags. Check up on the last posts!

  39. extracheeseplease

    Great boobs, it’s the veins that look kinda odd.

  40. joho777

    What a horrible makeup job. It looks like someone painted her face with housepaint and a big brush.

    And those fake tits! At least she should remove the warts and bumps before she shows them off.

    What a phony looking hag!

  41. Mel

    She looks pregnant – again. That, or a pro.

  42. vito

    That’s her husband?

    Fucker must be hung like a horse or must be able to lick his eyebrows, cuz he’s got a face that looks like an ashtray!

  43. spatula mcFries

    Why is she married to a teenage Jew? And why is he desperately trying to hold her hand in all the pics..

  44. supersex

    damn she really went south after dropping a kid, now she just an ugly ass bitch with money.

    not good enough to be my next ex wife!

  45. jim

    she is beautiful…Hey,I am a tall girl,because of tall,seems difficult to find a boy friend for me,I am anxiety sometime.Since I joined the club[__""__],I find many good tall admirers,tall guys,tall girls,even models,if you wanna make friends with us, please join us. Don’t let love pass you by.

  46. the troof

    She looks like a stripper from a cheap topless joint in Jersey

  47. Jae

    She’s totally prego again

  48. Jae

    She’s totally prego again

  49. She hates him, you can tell. “Don’t touch me, motherfucker.”

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