UPDATE: Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have a baby

January 11th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Christina Aguilera gave birth to a singular baby today, according to E! Online:

The couple announced the birth in a quick text message to friends and family around 4 p.m.: “Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!”
There were no further details immediately available.

TMZ is saying it’s a boy. My sources say it’s a Yeti. I trust my peeps on this one. And by peeps I mean all the beers I just drank.

UPDATE: People reports Christina Aguilera’s baby boy Max Liron Bratman was actually born late Saturday night and not Friday. Coincidentally, the baby shares the same name as a brand of feminine pads for Amazon warriors. Max Liron: Now with more bronze!

Photo: Splash News

  1. ..

    The dad may be ugly but Christina is hot, why can’t the baby look like his or her mom?

  2. *

    The mom is an ugly dirty spic. Just to clarify.

  3. Gayape where are U

    I agree 52 she has to dye here hair blonde, notice. And she is a nasty fucking whore. Unfit for motherhood.
    I wonder if her pierced twat scarred the baby’s face on the way out of the cavern?
    Gayape-Purple-Peter-Eater, where are ya? I am waiting here. I know you are a climatology expert and all…
    Concerned Anglo American Patriot

  4. Charlene

    Isn’t it suppose to be mom and baby are doing well, instead of mom and dad? What does Mr Potato Head have to do besides waiting?

  5. Congrats to them both ! The gal can sing !
    (So I’m like surfing around and I come across one of those crappy YouTube links the ‘evil twin’ put up a few beach threads ago.
    It goes like: decimusnola (?) “This issue is a national intelligence test.
    Do enough Americans have the ability to understand BASIC PHYSICS? If not, we don’t deserve anything approaching a democracy.
    And I’m think’n Jeff Foxworthy just has GOT to get some new material! Talk about a shameless plug for his ‘Smarter than a 5th Grader Show.’
    (Would hang here more but ‘Hot for Words’ doesn’t like me linking to other sites at YouTube – I could be in major shit here)

  6. Binky: So, like yesterday, we’re finally getting some half ass sushi in this non-coastal town. Of course, turned on ‘C-span Japan’ government thingie for a bit of ambiance.
    (Ummm…What are these guys on about Cliff?)
    Cliff Notes : 9/11 was an inside job. One guy was complaining the lights were so bright in there he could barely see. One guy says ‘The Pack is Back’. But the posters and stuff they hold up is bitching about 9/11 and that there were Japanese people killed. And 9/11 was an inside job type thing.
    Binky: Oh. Ok. Should we call in the ‘evil twin’ ?

  7. Binky: Like, when the guy comes to the podium there,after the guy’s presentation with the posters and stuff, what was it he said there, under his breath ?
    Cliff Notes : Not completely sure. No idea, really, what it means. But the translation seems to be “Right you are Ken.”

  8. Clone Jordan Bratman

    Billions and billions of them to fill up all the empty space on this vast world. Send them through the cosmos as emissaries to let aliens know that no beauty is in our infinitesimal spec of the galaxy. Perhaps then they will never come here to conquer us.

  9. Bozidar The Perv

    I wanna rape her tight little ass. Spit first to get it wet. Finger it a little bit. Then spit again and then aim my one-eyed snake straight inside her poop-hole.
    I don’t even care if I get mud on the helmet.

    Oh and I would finish by pissing all over her beautiful body.

    Damn, am I the romantic type !

    P.S. Did I mention I wanna rape her ass ?

  10. 1MILF Hunter

    #59 – brutal.

  11. Finally a comment !! #59 You seem like a ‘progressive’ liberated type.
    Any comments on 9/11 ?

  12. How about you # 60 ?

  13. D. Richards (Saint.)

    September 11th, or as I like to refer to it, ‘Derservance: A tale of ignorance’, isn’t as much of a conspiracy, as it is a gross dereliction of duty. America’s unseemingly endless display of woeful self-importance and ignorace served Deservance-day well. And helped to usher in the age of blatant disrespect for the Constitution.

    The blind-eyed-back-turners used 9/11 as way to help impliment plans that have long since been salivated over: non-court ordered wiretaps, holding prisoners-of war for as long as desired and without lawyers, telling the public that, unless they give-up their freedoms and privacy, bad things will happen to them.

    ‘The terrorists will win. Be frightened, and don’t ask questions. And if you do ask questions, we will tell you that we don’t recall. We know what’s best for you. Here, have a complimentary cigarette’.

    This type of behavior has been wanted by the Government for a long time. It’s easy to control a population that’s frightened. And what better way than to use a National tragedy to serve the government in their want for closer examination of the American public? There is no better way. Period. You can’t just make some scary stories up and have people fall to knees and eat for you. No, you need the public to be throughly shaken, like they were on Deservance-Day, for them to roll for you.

    The conspiracy started the second those planes flew in to the Pentagon, Trade Center buildings, and Pennsylvanian countryside. There was no conspiracy to aquire a 9/11 to happen. It was that beautiful American ignorance that, ‘Hey, we’re the great America, nothing can happen to us, because we’re invincible’ — which resulted in the attacks; Also, ironically, allowing for the puppet masters to use for their advantage, against the America people.

  14. bill2008

    It was said shejust enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on interracialsingleonline.com and many hot picture are shown…so man fans show so much interesting to her there, oh, really? it is nice to enjoy more about it…

  15. gertie

    update this site already ………..

  16. Portmanteau

    Weak genes on display…….look for the fug now at a newstand near you.

  17. Whats with all of these people popping out kids all of a sudden. Hopefully, this kid doesn’t look a thing like either one of the parents.

  18. Good for them, unlike certain celebs I think they will make really good parents!

  19. Pilatunes

    @11 – right on the money!!!

    ps why did she marry a mole rate anyway?

  20. Shannypanties

    Max Liron Bratman. Hmmm. At least it sounds better than Harlow Winter Kate Madden….

  21. Realist

    I can’t believe people get a thrill from posting ‘First’ to anonymous strangers on a random celebrity gossip messageboard. Really, really, really sad. Just write something that’s fucking funny or an interesting comment.

  22. she is a tranny troll

    she looks like a ghetto hood rat.
    she should be with a black guy.

  23. Christina is BEAUTIFUL

  24. kirsten dunst

    #4, horrible attempt at being funny. and just in case you are the only one not aware, you failed.

  25. kirsten dunst

    # 28- if that is true, you’re a joke. i really didn’t intend to come on here today and crack jokes on you guys but you’ve just made it too easy. oh and the baby was born saturday night not friday. begin feeling like an even larger douche.

  26. jimena

    hey Demi Moore and Bruce Willis are very good looking…

    … but just take a look at Rumer!!

    soooo….. we shall see!!

  27. NatTurner

    Yeti? Is that Yiddish for future Jewish man that will con his way to success?

  28. Mal Reynolds

    Congratulations to the happy parents!
    I hope he gets her looks.

  29. You can see more pictures and posts, on Christina and many others at http://www.bgctoday.com. You will also see a “Find of the Day” section for the coolest fashion items found by our fashion author from NY, ZUZU. Check it out.

  30. Congratulations to the adorable couple!

  31. iburl

    Hopefully the “Liron” part will distract from the fact that they named this poor kid MAX BRATMAN. Geezuz.

  32. Purple fairy

    Max means “The Greatest.” and the name Liron means “My song” in Hebrew.
    Max Liron is Christina’s greatest song. At least she put some thought into the name.

  33. alice

    i am envious of her great skin, though she has been pregnant. it is said that she takes massages every day. no wonder her skin is great. i am envious of it. i like it. it give me funny and relax. one day, i found a social service, PubSpa.com. it enable me to find a right partner who is interested in massage and learn a lot via videos regarding massage and beauty care.

  34. alice

    disregard my previous comment.. the address to the spa is actually http://www.lemonparty.org


  35. Nordic

    Hey why does the whore, who is a spic, wear blue contact lenses and dye her nasty hair human blonde? Hmmmmmm????
    Why do they all dye their hair blonde. Damn they all look fake. Envy.
    I wonder what with the pretty boy daddy having black eyes and hair if she will do the same to the baby?

  36. jrz

    Jesus….I hope she and Nicole had time to read Lynne Spears’ parenting book before the bundles of joy arrived!

  37. Proof positive that drugs, alcohol, and elective cosmetic surgery have no detrimental effect on ovulation or uteral implantation.

  38. Anonymous

    Hey bill2008:

    Hi there, I’m a loser with no life. I’m paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don’t have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I’mAnIdiotTrollWithNoLifeAndShouldBeKilled.com
    I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site.

    Richromances.com and all those other fucking dating sites that get spammed around here are all registered to this asshole. Du Qiang ecomfun@aol.com 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States 650-906-0405

  39. Spicky Spickerson

    85 – I HATE Christina Aguilera, BUT, her eyes are really bluish, and her hair is really dirty blondeish. But I agree on all other counts. she is a hideous monster and she has that quintessential Ecuadorian bad taste in clothes and makeup.

    And before any of you asses start with me, I know, because I know…being Latin and raised in Jackson Heights gives you lots of information on how tacky those central americans are. Don’t get me started on the Hondurans….

  40. aja

    I agree with grape ape. I bet the kid is ugleeeeeeeeeeeeeee too. EWWWWWW

  41. Chauncey Gardner

    Great news. Did Bratman name the kid “Brobin” as I’d predicted, months ago?

  42. kate

    LOl. i wish it was a yeti considering him
    its a boy and his name is max.
    finally. a regualr name. not like friggen
    apple. and seriously who names their
    kid moses? unless hes jewish of course.

  43. charle

    Congratulations to the adorable couple!
    i am a young and handsome man from us. i just think U is a good place to meet friends. i just wonder if i can meet a rich momma here, because i am at the beginning of my career and i need someone’s support..i uploaded my hot photos on sugarmommamatch dot com under the name piccolo , maybe you want to check out my photos firstly!

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