Christina Aguilera’s Boyfriend Won’t Be Charged With DUI

April 18th, 2011 // 6 Comments

After causing a media shitstorm following their arrests last month, Christina Aguilera‘s boyfriend Matthew Rutler will not be charged with a DUI after all. Apparently his BAC came back only .06 instead of the .08 needed to be considered legally intoxicated, according to Us Magazine. My, what a convenient turn of events…

CHRISTINA: So remember how I let you live in the house after the divorce?
JORDAN: You want me to burrow into the LAPD and switch out Matt’s blood.
CHRISTINA: Bingo.
JORDAN: Only if I can see your boobs.
CHRISTINA: Nope.
JORDAN: A nipple?
CHRISTINA: Nope.
JORDAN: Can I eat that carrot with some dirt on it?
CHRISTINA: …. Half.
JORDAN: Done!

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. phil

    i must be first

  2. Forget what the blood test said–didn’t they see the pictures of him intentionally making out with Christina Aguilera?

  3. the captain

    this because he is a HEROINE-ADDICT, folks!!

  4. Christina Aguilera Boyfriend DUI
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    wow those fingers don’t match those thighs

  5. Marceelf

    The real question is will Christina Aguilera be charged with assaulting my eyes with her makeup troweled face?

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