Christina Aguilera‘s weight has been a touchy subject lately to the point that Adam Levine sleeps in fear each night that he’ll wake up discovering a new definition of pain and suffering as he’s slowly digested over thousands of years. So to give credit where credit is due, here’s Christina at last night’s Lakers game looking noticeably smaller after breaking into a prison and saying, “All these stripes are mine now, see? Myeah, see? Myeah.” Later, she’ll attack Batman with an umbrella sword for diffusing her penguin bomb, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
Porkable. More ways than one.
I’d glaze those hams!I
The only way she’s porkable is to square her fat roasted ass up over a bed of veggies and then jam an apple in her mouth.
pardon me but if i could be racist for just a minute.
didn’t you say you was black?
aint these obese white chicks all up in your wheelhouse?
Richard is apparently a turd poker, and is as flaming as those who run this site. A few extra lbs (very few now), but she is still damned tasty. And, her jugs are bigger than katy perry’s, for instance, yet how many posts about her “giant rack” have we had to suffer?
muppets inspired post.
I wonder how many layers of Spanx she has on.
I’d say 5. She probably can’t even bend.
“Throw hot dogs in here, damn it!”
She’s looking much better than Lohan. Is that a compliment?
If all you see is yellow light when you kiss her, does that mean you like butter?
Well yeah stripes are slimming, unless they make you look like a giant albino bee. No middle ground.
See? If I go like this I can get a whole Jos. Louis in without biting it.
At last, the Hamburglar unmasked! Can anyone say they are really surprised?
win
Vertical stripes, Xtina! Vertical!
Look out Christina it’s a Virginia class nuclear submarine!
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/30/Dangerous_Basketball-340_453.jpg[/img]
Oh no, run for your life!
LMAO thats so mean!!
Don’t feed the zebra.
Definitely looks slimmer. Now, someone needs to tell her to scrape off half of the 20 pounds of makeup she wears.
Shame they dont make face Spanx.
I lol’d*
I lol’d.
The exact moment they realized they were roofied by Grimace.
“I got your text message, but I wasn’t sure what ‘robble robble’ meant so I thought I’d stop by.”
yeah…real original, as there’s a hamburglar reference posted an hour ago.
Oh, and it’s “rubble-rubble” btw…
Double fail.
she does look smaller, but horizontal stripes are slimming. they’re very much the opposite, tend to make the wearer look wider.
whoops, meant AREN’T slimming
People are going to think you’re an ugly whore when you run around with a fat loser in a members only jacket.
She’s either using one strange tanning color, or her liver is shot from all the booze.
But her tits look big, so there’s that.
she looks fab!! people should leave her alone, just cause shes famous …. i love that people FATTER than her are calling her out.
Yeah I wouldn’t drink that.
There’s always a guy in the background, pointing out the fat chick that used to be hot.
I’d bend her over and let her see God.
she looks better but her skin is still not the right color…still a little orange-y
Besides the hair, I think she looks sexy. Her stomach appears flat. You should see the heifers that guys fawn over in the cam rooms I obviously don’t know exist.
Milian must be thinking: Me, getting pregnant? No fucking way!!!
Definitely looking healthier than she has been. Shoes are silly tho.
The guy next to them is worth like 3 billion dollars.
She wears so many fucking layers of makeup that she looks like different species. NASTY.
She looks lovely
What are you on about ? She looks great !
Her face is the exact shade of yellow/orange as the two sweatshirts in the crowd behind Rutlers head.
someone obviously doesn’t know that only vertical stripes are slimming, not horizontal. nonetheless she looks great though!
gross radioactive tan, bad make up, terrible outfit, still needs to lose 30 pounds. i think thats about it.
A man obviously wrote this, strips makes you look wider especially thick strips.