Christina Aguilera Never Wears Underwear

October 19th, 2012 // 65 Comments
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“What are you waiting for, Kermie? Moi is ready for you!”

While appearing on Chelsea Lately last night, but only after Chelsea Handler agreed to wear fishnets (Why do you hate America?), Christina Aguilera revealed she never wears underwear because that’s exactly the kind of thing you want to hear from a ballooning drunk who’s completely given up on her appearance. Via E! News:

“I don’t like to wear underwear,” Xtina said. “I like to be as free as possible at all times. It’s just who I am.”

Aguilera went on to explain, “It’s empowering. It’s pussy power!”

In the immortal words of Shakespeare, “Turgid have I become, lost in thoughts of bog-like aroma wafting from yonder stems of cheese and girth, J/K, ninja, shit is cray.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. YTBOY

    Can we PLEASE have some evidence of that!!

  2. That Bastard Tony

    Consider her current physical and emotional state, do you REALLY want evidence of that? This would have been (somewhat) great news 10 years ago. I say somewhat because while she was smokin’ hot in ’03, she didn’t look “clean”.

  3. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    uber
    Commented on this photo:

    i keep hoping that this is all an elaborate troll, and that any minute she’s going to tell us that she’s been wearing one of eddie murphy’s fat suits from the nutty professor movies this whole time

  4. EricLr

    Someone needs to tell her that “free as possible” and “blasted off your ass on Adderall” are not the same things.

  5. JC

    I’m more surprised that Chelsea Handler is still a person with a show. What was the thinking, E! network? Did you decide that you had Joel McHale, so the rest of the 23.5 hours of the day could be filed with intolerable asshats?

    • EricLr

      That show was actually pretty funny, back before Chelsea Handler’s ego became so inflated that they had to move her to a bigger studio to accommodate it . At some point it basically turned into the “Here are all my famous friends!” show, she stopped making fun of all her buddies (i.e. “Come on my show or I’ll make fun of you!”), and it became more and more about name-dropping rather than being funny.

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Never give a woman fame. *Straight* to their head.

      • Trek Girl

        Right, EricLr, as if there aren’t countless examples to the contrary when it comes to that last statement you made – which I hope is actually a poor attempt at a joke – and even more examples showing that fame can and does go straight to the heads of men.

      • Hes just one of those men with TINY cocks and a father who beat his mom growing up so he really cant be taken as anything more than a sorry joke. You can read the effort he put into his comment lol
        LAME

      • Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

        “Cunt” does suit you.

    • Bianca

      I’ve watched the show on a few separate occasions and didn’t crack a smile once. If she looks bored by her own material how am I supposed to find it funny?

      • Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

        Yeah, sorry, maybe I’m in a minority here but I’ve always considered Chelsea Handler (Kathy Griffin, and a number of other female “celebrities”) unfunny twats.

  6. Gary Grant

    I bet her farts sound like a foghorn.

  7. Troll's Nighmare

    She’s quickly descending into the Kardashian, Lohan, Paltrow highlighted “Just Go Away!” category.

  8. Eddie Baby

    She looks horrible on “The Voice.” Fat, sloppy tits, caked on makeup and bleached to death hair. She looks like she is fifty and has been on the road, singing at small nightclubs for the last thirty years. If I didn’t know, I would never guess she is a pampered pop star.

    • WOW lol you can read all the effort you took to try and be witty lol
      But i can tell your a played out little queer boy filled with self hate and shame that wants to be accepted SOMEWHERE lol… Im sure you do know shes a pampered pop star since im sure youve been sodomizing yourself to her music lol

      • so what

        I actually agree with what Eddie said… and you jovycunt is nasty. But what can one expect from someone who picks ‘cunt’ as her own nickname.

      • Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

        I’m with Eddie. This chick was used up years ago, and is annoying as fuck.

  9. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Jiggles McGee
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t mind her thick body, she’s still sexy… she just needs to learn how to dress for her figure. Same with the jersey girl hair & makeup…. she needs a proper makeover, not weight loss! Who the hell is her stylist?!

    • Sandoucheky

      A very poignant observation

    • thick?

      Why do people keep using the word “thick” when fat is really the appropriate word. One look at her and anyone can tell she is overweight. People now can’t just accept they are fat and get offended even when it is true so everyone calls them ‘thick’ which makes them think it is okay to be obese. But that is another topic.

  10. Cock Dr

    Thanks for dragging out a fantastic quote from the olde Bard of Avon.

  11. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t the people on E! zoom the camera on the snail trail she left on the couch on Chelsea Lately?

  12. mismy

    I coulda made it thru the day without knowing this :-/ “Pussy power”?! Keep it classy skank

    • yea im sure your classy ears were tainted from hearing a woman be comfortable with herself and her body so you went back to watching Downtown Abbey…. bitch please your on a gossip site at 10:29 am on a weekday.. u aint classy your unemployed is what u are lol

      • classy

        Someone who assumes another person is unemployed and yet can’t even differentiate the use of “you’re” and “your”. Example: “You’re in no place to be a judge of anyone’s being classy or not.” :) Who the hell says “Pussy Power” anyway? Besides Xtina and jovycunt. lol

  13. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Will her anti underwear statement discourage or encourage paparazzi upskirt attempts? She looks like she could stomp the shit out of someone if they timed things badly.

  14. Muppet Fan

    Fish, do not sully the good name of Miss Piggy by conflating her with Former Pop Star Current Trailer Trash Drag Queen Xtina.

    Thanks.

  15. zomgbie

    so paris/britney/lilo attention whoring their way to fame 2005.

  16. Linda Ronstadt thought the same thing about panties: “I sing better bare-butted.” Reportedly, she went commando when she first appeared on The Johnny Cash Show in 1969.

  17. Arlene

    O.K. Has anyone here ever worked in a fast food restaurant. Remember that putrid greasy meat smell? That’s what I can imagine it would smell like to be around her.

  18. El Jefe

    I think I am going to be sick.

  19. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Janice
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh I get it – for Halloween she’s dressed as an argument against gay marriage. Because if Snooki and Christina Applegate got married and were somehow able to procreate, this is what it would look like.

  20. neen

    There is no room for underwear when you are wearing 5 layers of spanx.

  21. I’d eat greasy french fries from her smelly fat ass crack.

  22. Jill_Ess

    This would explain the drip seen ’round the world.

  23. Juano

    Methinks the girl overrateth the power of her snatch. Although, the stench might equal that of the ditch of Fleet in merrie olde London.

  24. what?

    at least she’s wearing purple for spirit day.

  25. The Royal Penis

    We don’t put underwear on cows, so why is this considered a problem?

  26. anonym

    i hope she wipes well.

    wouldn’t want skid marks on that dress

  27. FUCKBEAST

    “What a girl wants, what a girl needs; some deep fried chicken, some mac and cheese”

  28. Her comment had a smell to it.

  29. cc

    Argh, now I can’t get ‘feta cheese’ out of my head.

  30. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir Mix-a-Lot just came

  31. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    The problem with not wearing any underpants is everyone sees it when you shit yourself.

  32. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    All is explained. It’s not crappy fake tan. Her legs are just caked with dried up crap.

  33. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    If you wanna be with me
    Baby there’s a price to pay
    Gotta fry me some bacon
    Gotta like my poopoo!

  34. rj

    She said no underwear but she left out the fact that she wears, spanks, a girdle, a support push up bra, support panty hose and booty pops.

  35. Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

    Not sure ‘power’ is what her pussy has, unless it’s chupacabra power…

  36. lixx

    the only power her pussy got is sewer leakage power

  37. Thanks for the menstrual accident reminders, I was eating Tostino’s pizza rolls!

  38. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    YIKES
    Commented on this photo:

    Great…someone else who is “embracing” being out of shape and overweight, and feeling “sexy”. Enough with the “I love my new curves”…you’re FAT. F-A-T. It’s not healthy. And it’s a lousy example to set. This is nothing more than someone letting herself go.

  39. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    lad
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks proud of that azz

  40. Christina Aguilera Fat Tight Dress AMA Nominations
    Hello!
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s waaay sexier than Kim Kardashian

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