Christina Aguilera Has Left the Mole-Man

October 12th, 2010 // 87 Comments

Jesus. When it rains, it everyone gets divorces.

Seen here in June, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have reportedly separated and are living apart, according to Us Magazine:

“They were very much in love,” explains the insider. “But over the last six months, it ­became clear they were more like friends than husband and wife.”The source adds that Aguilera even “­proposed their August trip to Italy to ­rekindle their relationship, but it didn’t help.”

Great. Now who’s going to warn us of the Mole King’s assault on the surface? I thought that was the whole point of this thing: Have a kid, earn his trust, take detailed notes on transmissions from Subterranea. It’s a waste of breasts, is all I’m saying.

Photos: Splash News


  1. sal

    she looks about 90

  2. ingy

    only me or is she starting to look like Cyndi Lauper, and that is not a good thing

  3. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me start the chorus with ‘How the f did she end up married to him anyway?’

    Then again, he probably never bargained for marrying a wax sculpture.

  4. I wouldn’t kick her outta bed.

    just waiting on Jessica alba to split.

  5. Elle

    So basically all the someone good looking chicks who married men that they are far superior too in the looks department are leaving them, which explains why Brittney Murphy’s husband was soo quick to off her…too soon?

  6. Elle

    somewhat not someone…oops

  7. cc

    I think she was at her physical peak in the ‘Candyman’ video. It gave me a boner.

  8. josh

    They should have stayed together, they both look like trash.

  9. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    omigodomigodomigod! Please Call ME Christina!

  10. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:


  11. devilsrain

    Well its about time, talk about unholy unions

  12. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    she was hotter when she was chubbier…

  13. Urbanspaceman

    Wow!!! They tried to fix things for 6 whole months!!! That’s a lifetime for celebutards.

  14. Johnny Cage

    WTF? Did everyone suddenly just forget what the hell marriage is all of a sudden? It’s like everyone now views marriage as just another form high school dating where a priest had to join them on the first date.

    Marriage is a bond you’re suppose to tough out, not something where you get bored with after 1 year and then divorce.

    • cc

      Honestly? ‘It’s like everyone now views marriage as just another form high school dating’ is true. Toughing it out probably still happens, but not too damned often.

    • sad but true. but if you were looking for that special someone and you end up getting divorced. that’ll hurt more than viewing marriage as high school dating.

    • Chupacabra

      Life is too short to tough it out, and we are not physically wired that way. Seriously. The theory of monogamy is only as old as the advent of agriculture. At which point we started looking at women and children as properties, not part of our tribal family.

      • Johnny Cage

        Humans are not advanced sea monkeys. We have honor and morals given to us to make us better people and keep us uniform or otherwise devolve into the animal kingdom. Things like marriage have been around since the first family was on earth, it’s not something a guy in ancient Greece thought about while he was playing Halo 3. Without basic things such as these we end up becoming an anarchy like animals are. Just things that procreate, leave behind children on their own, eat their young, and bash in the other monkey’s skull for his steak.

      • anon

        Agriculture is pointless. Why should the human race try to improve itself at all? Let’s all move back into the jungles (all 6 billion of us) and live off the land. Sure, I bet you can do it if you brought along camping gear and food supplies. Or we’d probably end up with one of those Lord of the Flies scenarios.

  15. roy

    She will be hooking up with “The Donald” next

  16. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Tommy Lee's Cock
    Commented on this photo:

    I will bet any amount of money that he’s the one who left her. I really find it hard to imagine anyone would enjoy being married to her.

  17. "He's too rough to be true"

    Does this mean Jordan cant star in the sequel to “shes out of my league”?

  18. Schmuley

    He’s gonna miss that pirge – like sticking it in a warm oily knish it was!

  19. Paloma

    Never understood what she saw in that hideous scrub anyways.

    • juaquin ingles

      Not that I think she’s anything great, but in my experience the hottest chicks end up having the biggest trolls of boyfriends. It doesn’t even surprise me anymore.

  20. Paloma

    Wish she would do something different with that ugly ass platinum hair already. That color is so played out.

  21. cc

    Jordan Bratman, prototype for the hipster troll doll.

  22. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckin Quitters. No one takes marriage seriously.

  23. God

    Check out her knees !

  24. not jordan douchebag

    all he’s missing is a tin cup.

  25. mfb

    wasn’t she making him live in the guest room while she had new boyfriends sleep over in the main house? that’s what i heard…..

  26. corey phipps

    Basically, im a huge Christina Aguilera fan, but i can’t seem to find any information on her next album or next tour (after the Back to Basics tour).

  27. captain america

    psssssssssst: HE LOOKS LIKE A MOLE, folks!!

  28. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks better without all the makeup!

  29. terryo

    She is so hot…good thing she has put herself back on the market!

  30. terryo

    Page 6 is suggesting that the breakup was caused by a fling with the ladies…Sam Ronson in particular. Maybe she will become her new plaything! Love the girl/girl/ celebrity couples!

  31. Anon

    Maybe he started standing up for himself and her overinflated but fragile ego couldn’t take it.

    We all know she’s a man hating misandrist which is why no real man would put up with her.
    I guess he grew a pair.

  32. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman Split
    Commented on this photo:

    why do these clebrities try SO hard to hold on to their sexiness? She is looking like such a hag in these pics. I’d have way more respect for her if she weren’t trying so hard.

    Seriously, these performers are 3/4 famous for their cheesy “attitudes” and pop culture “sex appeal.” After they begin to age at all, trying to stay in that persona just looks damn silly.

    The quality of their music is not good enough to carry them through the loss of their looks.

  33. Anne

    What is a mole person?

  34. Gunsmoke

    Have Nothing Against This Guy – But Why in The World Would Xtina date This Guy – Is She a blonde ??

Leave A Comment