Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.
NOVEMBER
In case Exhibits A, B, C, D, E weren’t proof enough that 2012 was the Year of The Ass, here’s a ginormous Christina Aguilera at the AMAs where she answered the age-old scientific question: What would happen if Kim Kardashian and Snooki made a baby that could withstand the herpes smelting process? At last you can rest in peace, Galileo.
Posted: 11.19.2012
Original Post: Christina Aguilera Was At The Am- JESUS CHRIST!
Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN
You’re also talking about the difference between a 14 year old girl and a grown woman. I promise your girlfreind is fatter than her. She weighs like, 115 pounds, tops.
Are you saying Christina only weighs 115 now? You have gotta be kidding me. She was much more than that.
Also, Christina wasn’t 14 in that picture. She was 18 when Genie in a Bottle became a success and her career got going.
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
Breaking News: River Phoenix isn’t dead. He’s just been hiding behind Christina for safety.
On Dec. 21st, if your bomb shelter fails, have no fear. You can always take up shelter underneath Christina’s lower back fat.
I’d feel better outside taking my chances that whatever falls out of the sky will be better than whatever might emanate from Xtina’s poop chute.
Snooki’s BIGGER sister
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/01/aunt-340_183.jpg[/img]
Awesome resemblance, but the robot may be a tad more attractive. Plus I’m sure it would smell way better than Christina’s sweaty fat rolls.
Schmidtly, Bree, Anderson Pooper: WOW. Do you all hear yourselves? You all are full of so much hate & vitriol. Dear God, would you walk up to someone who is overweight & start calling them names & laughing in their faces & saying how much they stink? Looks like y’all got a LOT of work to do on yourselves in 2013. How about you start by putting full-length photos of yourselves up on here?
I adore Pitbull. DALE!
I love Pitbull! It’s his planet, he just lets us live on it.
omg wtf had happened to her?????
All I can think is HOLY SHIT!
asstastic