BREAKING: Christina Aguilera Can Fit Into Jeans

August 13th, 2013 // 19 Comments

Since the dawn of man, Christina Aguilera has always worn black tights or dresses she can easily menstruate out of onstage. So imagine my surprise to not only see her in jeans that aren’t jeggings, but her ass actually looks.. well, her ass actually evaporated and looked better when she was fat. Wow, being a woman really is a Greek tragedy, isn’t it? You’d think something like that would make them unpredictably emotional at the drop of a- Holy shit I get it now. *transforms into a beam of pure knowledge, ascends into the heavens*

Photos: Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Jay

    Fish!!!! Wait!!!!! Before you go, when does LiLo die???????

  2. eww

    She’s as bow-legged as a Japanese woman

    • I was just thinking the same thing! Well, I didn’t think of that Japanese part. I didn’t know that was a thing. Between the bow-leggedness, the orange skin, and the stupid fitted hat, she looks like quite the douchebag.

  3. Bringbackbabalu

    She looked wayyyyy better before. Now she looks like a crackwhore, or Courtney Stodden or something…

  4. Your retarded chubby chaserness is showing.

  5. JC

    I don’t like to criticize, Fish, but you know they make those stretchy pajama jeans now, right? That really opened up pants of a denim-esque fabric to a bulging, jiggling new market.

  6. More Sir Please!

    There is nothing hotter than menstual blood dripping down the ankle, via the inner thigh, then trickling down the toes right into Daddy’s mouth.

  7. That was hilarious, Fish.

  8. Kman

    It’s nice to see Peter Dinklage getting some sun.

  9. malaka

    i had a mean boner for her back at the turn of the century.
    women’s bodies truly are a greek tragedy.
    that’s the first time i’ve ever seen that metaphor and it was quite an astute observation.

  10. Christina Aguilera Butt Tight Skinny Jeans Son Max Ex Husband Jordan Bratman
    Hannnnnah?
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she bowlegged ?

  11. sc4play

    I laugh every time I hear or see her name. In my mind, I’m hearing Kenan Thompson in an SNL skit calling her ‘Christina Alligator’. Its the simple pleasures that make life good!

  12. Christina Aguilera Butt Tight Skinny Jeans Son Max Ex Husband Jordan Bratman
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have sworn that was P Dinklage walking beside her in this first photo.

  13. Christina Aguilera Butt Tight Skinny Jeans Son Max Ex Husband Jordan Bratman
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this why my Photoshop program wasn’t working? It blew up making these photos.

  14. Christina Aguilera Butt Tight Skinny Jeans Son Max Ex Husband Jordan Bratman
    OH Luke
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly bow legs!

  15. Christina Aguilera Butt Tight Skinny Jeans Son Max Ex Husband Jordan Bratman
    OH Luke
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewww! Ugly bow legs!

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