So Who Wants to See Chris Noth’s Balls?

April 6th, 2011 // 82 Comments

One of these men is about to flash his testicles. Which will it- Oh, right, the headline.

Being a world-renowned journalist, I get lots of e-mails, comments, stripper-grams, tweets, etc. from female readers saying I don’t post enough eye candy for the ladies. So to remedy that, here’s Mr. Big himself Chris Noth flashing his fruit basket at a charity event in New York last night. Of course, like any time I try to please a woman, you’ll probably say, “My vagina’s not in my butt This isn’t what I had in mind,” but just yesterday you wanted to repaint the kitchen, so I think we can all agree you’re hysterical. Probably from filling that pretty little head of yours with thinking and the like, you poor thing. *puts fingers to your lips* Shhh… There, there. There, there….

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Richard McBeef

    Upskirts – not limited to the ladies any more.

  2. Chris Noth Balls
    Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m gutted it wasn’t Jack Bauer

  3. Sassyfras

    Nice, firm, ample buttocks :). *sigh*

  4. Chris Noth Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    LMAO!! I love men, nothing about their nudity is secksi, it just makes me laughhhhhhhh.

  5. cc

    There’d better be a shitload of t&a on this site for the rest of the week to make up for this.

  6. hmna

    I’m trying to decide if the guy on the left is Scotty or Zorba the Greek.

  7. Chris Noth Balls
    antoine bugleboy
    Commented on this photo:

    You just fell for our sting and won yourself three months’ detention. There’s no such thing as “Scotchtoberfest”!

  8. zomgbie

    i didint know scotty was still alive.

  9. Cock Dr

    All hail the return of the pink star!
    OK, this wasn’t quite as exciting as that headline would lead one to believe, but yes, now that I have seen Mr North’s balls (at least a portion of them) my day seems somehow brighter.
    Thanks for sharing Chris……if whoever you’re sleeping with doesn’t mind the ass fur then who are we spectators to complain?
    Thanks old guys for keeping it covered.

  10. Captain Oblivious

    Aw, c’mon, Mr. Big. This kind of comedy is really like picking the low-hanging fruit.

  11. Chris Noth Balls
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If I was a betting woman I would have put the money on Keifer being the one to whip up the skirt. Guess he hadn’t yet had enough whiskey.

  12. If the lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be, then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen! That’s why Roger Podacter was murdered! He found Captain Winky!

  13. Neen

    Horraaaaayyy! for balls!

  14. i am

    I hate this “duuurrr, here’s one for the ladies… some pictures of an ugly, old dude…” bullshit. Hey, how about you serve up the daily dose of bikini shots with some Sarah Jessica Parker pictures?

  15. Ok so how about some naked WOMEN too

    • Sassyfras

      Oh stop your whining! For every picture of Chris Noth’s sessy undercarriage there’s about 100 pics of bikini-clad chicks. The proportion is in your favor, gents. Suck it up for once.

  16. cc

    “Hey, ya, it’s me, Mr. Brokeback Mountain. You won’t believe what’s going on here. Call me back asap.”

  17. Yummy! I’ll have some of that please.

  18. RasputinsLiver

    “Who Wants To See Chris Noth’s Balls?”

    No thanks, Fish.

    I’ll leave that to the Perez Hilton crowd.

  19. Chris Noth Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    “I call this one….’The Goat’!”

  20. Chris Noth Balls
    ssssscience
    Commented on this photo:

    I think there’s a rather significant number of us that like balls on this website.

    HOORAY FOR TESTICLES.

  21. Krista

    Swing lowwww….sweet testiclesss…er, chariot…

  22. Chris Noth Balls
    hello
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a lady and this was hot. i’d lick his balls. he’s hot.

  23. pdizz

    Jim Gaffigan? What was this?

    • DeucePickle

      Exactly, no one is mentioning Jim Gaffigan? He’s awesome. I didn’t expect to see him hanging with Noth and Keebler but he deserves mentioning.

  24. dpbefun

    On this occation, I find the pink star a gift.

  25. Chris Noth Balls
    mean tina
    Commented on this photo:

    hot! i love balls and older men.

  26. Chris Noth Balls
    mean tina
    Commented on this photo:

    look at all those odd shoe choices.

  27. Reminds me of the scene in “Billy Madison” where Bradley Whitford’s junk flops out of his gym shorts after he trips and falls in front of two kids:
    BOY A: “Did you see that guy’s balls?”
    BOY B: “Yeah. They were weird lookin’.”

  28. Chris Noth Balls
    lils
    Commented on this photo:

    A million “ass and the City” jokes just popped out in my head and I can’t even…

  29. Chris Noth Balls
    Salsa
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s Jack Bauer doing there on the right?

  30. It’s a good thing I’m not a gambling man, I would have put everything I got on Jack Bauer.

  31. Qaroliine

    Lulz, women. Oh, wait, I am one. Did you know they pay me less for the same work a man does? Oh, i’ve said too much. Imma go make a sandwich now. *Slams head into wall* “Stupid, stupid, said too much”

  32. Chris Noth Balls
    ginaraejones
    Commented on this photo:

    oh my, what nice quads you have!!!!

  33. Cardinal Fang

    I love the Scots. But real men don’t wear skirts. I don’t care what you call them or even their history; it’s still a skirt.

  34. Darebear

    I’d kinda rather see Gaffigan’s balls.

  35. Chris Noth Balls
    meme
    Commented on this photo:

    Do your balls hang low?
    Do they wobble to and fro?
    Can you tie them in a knot?
    Can you tie them in a bow?
    Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
    Do your balls hang low?

  36. Chris Noth Balls
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s clenching.

  37. testington

    where are the ones without the stars?

  38. Vivian

    His ass is amazing, I never would’ve guessed! his legs look good too.

    No complaints about the fur, I mean it would be really weird if he waxed there wouldn’t it?

  39. Chris Noth Balls
    Zee Brat
    Commented on this photo:

    That really is an amazing ass.

  40. Chris Noth Balls
    stu
    Commented on this photo:

    ..then out of nowhere, the Law and Order trademark ‘scene chime’ was heard across the room.. “dunn dunnn”

  41. Chris Noth Balls
    Pshhh
    Commented on this photo:

    HOT.

  42. Chris Noth Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d spank that fucking ass so hard!!

    It’s about time we got to see some dangly bits around these parts. Around THOSE parts, even.

    More sexy men should wear skirts.

  43. Chris Noth Balls
    Mr. Small
    Commented on this photo:

    Grandpa?

  44. That's Funny

    He’s really is a great actor, how else could he pretend that SJP is attractive every week.

  45. If my balls hung lower than my pecker, I wouldn’t do that.

  46. ash

    that’s….. um… I can’t believe I looked. eww.

  47. the captain

    well, some ninety percent of manlu hollywood celebrities?
    THEY WILL EVEN CONCIDDER A BL*WJOB!!

  48. Chris Noth Balls
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    He no longer has the nickname “Mr. Big.”

  49. Chris Noth Balls
    misty
    Commented on this photo:

    thank YOU for posting this. I’m a 22 yr old female and i DEFINITELY appreciate some Chris Noth balls. yum.

  50. Jovy

    Great job Fish, next time can we see some ATTRACTIVE men? Pretty please?

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