Chris Brown’s a Good Christian Boy

March 2nd, 2011 // 58 Comments

Apparently God’s plan for Chris Brown involves him grabbing his cock in public, because here he is leaving Maggiano’s last night and doing black people all kinds of favors. Now, I’m not one to criticize the ways of the Spirit, but I’m pretty sure most religions regard the penis as Satan’s naughty wand which is why it should only be handled by a priest and/or your wife because women are filthy and unclean already. That’s in The Bible.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. CBrown

    Doesn’t look like he’s grabbing much

    • The Critical Crassness

      In order to grab something, you have to have something hangin’…..Womenbeaters, like Chrissy never do!

    • LOL

      LOL you obviously haven’t seen the chris brown nude pics HAHAHAHA HUNG LIKE A HORSE

  2. In honor of Black History Month, Chris Brown decided to act like a ghetto stereotype…including not knowing what month it is.

  3. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’s going for the young Dennis Rodman look.

  4. jim

    And his hat lets everyone know he’s enjoying it.

  5. just here for the laughs

    Po Man’s Ghetto Belt. See that all the time around here. Laziness…

  6. Marley

    I just don’t even know why fish keeps posting shit about Chris Brown.

  7. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Any joke I would make here would be shockingly racist. You know that one you’re thinking now…that’s the one.

  8. Heyzeus Hosay

    What, no link to scripture page referencing the uncleanliness of woman Fish? I’m disappointed.

  9. Cock Dr

    An ugly person with what looks like a bad case of crotch crickets.
    Surely you won’t end the day on this sour note.

  10. pj

    I don’t comment much, but MY GOD am I tired of reading about this guy! What is the f-ing point? Really, Fish, nobody cares. Is this guy’s publicist blowing you just to get ANY kind of press, ’cause seriously: you are the only one doing it. Please stop.

  11. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Greg Suarez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade.”

  12. dafs

    He looks like the guy from Sling Blade.

  13. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    josh
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice stupid hat.

  14. Kelsey

    Seeing him touch his crotch makes me want to vomit. I mean…. He is unattractive to begin with and a cowardice woman beating crotch grabber to boot?? Damn….. die already! (not Die Die…just go away)

  15. lola

    ………… Yet, Bieber can grab his baby beeb and its all peachy!

  16. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    lauryn
    Commented on this photo:

    so he just walks around holding it? definitely doing black people all kinds of favors…

  17. Um, Chris… Eazy-E called from beyond the grave and he wants his shirt back, but the stupid hat is all yours. Also, he asked me to tell you that your career says it misses you.

  18. Alex

    If this guy isn’t the poster child of why to get an abortion, nothing is.

    • The Critical Crassness

      You forgot…”Portwood the Pig” from MTV’s “Teenage Bearers of Children”, can’t call them “moms”, OR her ex- sperm donor, “Gary the Buttcrack”! They both would make just as good a poster child for abortion as Chris “The Woman Beater” Brown.

  19. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    foobah!
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Ninja Turtles had higher moral standards.

  20. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Marley
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice chin pubes.

  21. Euphoricme

    You said ‘cock’

  22. idle hands

    Chris Brown can’t control his hands. Notice how he trys to contain them by sticking them in his pockets. You don’t control the hands – the hands control you. Grabbing crotch. Busting Rihanna’s face. Don’t be surprised if you see them picking cotton

    • Trillian

      It’s not his fault, idle hands are the devil’s playthings and we already know that satan has his eye on Chris Brown. Trying to ruin this poor boy’s life, shame on you satan. How dare you make him beat Rihanna and then play with himself in public. You can just go to hell.

  23. What is this site? I just googled “Ass-Clown” and got redirected here.

  24. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Dean The Meat
    Commented on this photo:

    Tyler Perry’s House of Gump.

  25. the captain

    he is proud to have black C*CK, folks!!

  26. Waxzy

    OMG!!DATS NT DAT BAD….LET HIM DO HIS TIN

  27. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    MK
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks such a retard. He looks just the type that should be in jail. I would say he has a low IQ.

  28. The Critical Crassness

    Note to Chris Brown: Michael Jackson wants his “crotch grab” move back.
    He did it better and even had more there to work with!

  29. Nanook

    In honor of black history month, Chris Brown has been cast as “Karl Childers” in the 2012 remake of “Sling Blade”.

  30. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s actually not his dick. That’s where he keeps one of those telescopic security batons like police carry. Cause you never know when you might need to beat a bitch.

  31. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    It is just me or does he look more and more like the alien ambassador from Mars Attacks?

  32. Is he auditioning for some early 90′s era g-funk era west coast rap retrospective?

  33. Noel

    The person who wrote this article is sick,an air head,empty vessel and a liar!

  34. The Pope of Cleveland

    Is there a sequel to “Radio” that nobody told me about?

  35. Chris Brown Crotch Grab
    Phil
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do homies gotta be grabbin they junk ?? Is it gonna fall off? Is somebody gonna steal the little nubbin? Sheet

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