Chris Brown Sure Likes Touching His Penis

July 15th, 2011 // 152 Comments

Chris Brown performed on The Today Show this morning where he spent most of his performances grabbing his penis and making the exact same faces he probably made with his boyfriend. (Remember that time Chris Brown had a boyfriend? He had a boyfriend.) On that note, these shots were begging to be turned into a GIF, so I took my first shot at one and hope you guys like it. I call it, “Did That Chick Just Peep Her Man’s Phone and NOT Get Beat? DAYAMN! I’mma Keep Touchin’ My Dick.”

Chris Brown GIF

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. the captain

    on the other hand: GIVING WHITE BOY’S BLOWJOBS IS HIS GAME!!

  2. Jake

    Who *doesn’t* like touching their penis?

    • JimBob

      It’s actually because the AfrAms feel this is the only thing the USA has NOT taken from them that is a jk

  3. Cerra

    LAWL.

  4. truth

    one of the best screencaps of all time

  5. BigHead86

    will somebody kill this guy already!

  6. Vivian

    They guys get a post of Kelly Brooke and the ladies get this, life is so not fair.

    • Jillia

      Who says Kelly Brooke wasn’t for the ladies too? I sure appreciated it! lol.

      • Vivian

        You know Jillia, now that I think of it you’re right, she IS gorgeous!

      • RichPort's Really, Really Gay Ghost

        “… she IS gorgeous!”

        Honestly, she’s fat, and her only notable feature is her mammoth mammaries, which are also too f*cking large. Sometimes less is more.

        And would it kill her to run, or work out once in a while, or ever? No muscle tone and a generous layer of fat is not attractive.

  7. HGTV

    Is he wearing a sports bra?

  8. He calls this one “farming the walnuts”.

  9. Throjo

    Is he wearing a sports bra?

  10. looks like the face and neck motions he makes knobgobblin

  11. Satan's Anus

    He’s touching it to make sure it’s still there since it’s so small.

  12. American

    He’s gay and got mad at Rhiana because she told people.

  13. Chris Brown Today Show
    heahie
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time. I think I peed.

  14. Chris Brown Today Show
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “In the background of every photo like this, there is a black man saying it all with his eyes.”

    Still true.

  15. Deacon Jones

    He looks like an animal at the pet store begging for attention.

  16. RitzyA

    Is he wearing a sports bra?

  17. what you're all thinking

    What a dumb ______.

  18. Grand Dragon

    In other news: black people like to talk loudly at the movie theater.

    • Deacon Jones

      HAHAHA

      “MehAN…..He’s RIGHT BEHIND YOU MAN! LOOK OUT!”

    • Venom

      Seriously, I specifically go to the theater in the afternoon to avoid them.
      They talk loudly, bring their crying babies and almost always fight.

      • 99whynot99

        And white ppl smell like bologna n like to sit around on the computer with nothing else to do but make dumbass racists remarks because deep down inside they want to be black.

  19. MILF

    MSNBC should be ashamed for glamorizing this asshole abuser.

    • 99whynot99

      A paid asshole abuser too LMao hater, n I guess Charlie Sheen wife beating ass, dope fiend, etc. is a saint. The media glorified him when he had whores around his twins.

  20. Frank Burns

    Did he punch Ann Curry out of habit?

  21. JC

    His anger-management counselor told him that, whenever he gets angry, he should forcefully grab his junk instead of punching the nearest women. Luckily for humanity, all the junk grabbing will soon render him sterile.

  22. The Critical Crassness

    Chris Brown gives a shout out to Justin Beiber and Zac Ephron while performing on the Today Show…..at least this is less violent than his chair throwing performance on a previous visit.

  23. So all those Today show broads were just fawning all over him as if beating Rhianna was just a dream.

  24. Venom

    I wish someone would just put a bullet in between the brain of this ignorant monkey.

    • Soviet Snow

      Pita would have an absolute fit!

    • mai

      Who are you to judge??? You must be a fucking psycho, thats what people said about Michael Jackson and now they regret it. Fuck you and know that karma is a bitch, jealousy don’t pay off and what you say might come back to bite you in the ass.

      • lol

        HI chris brown. the michael jackson mention gave it away. chris is obsessed. and compares himself to michael. lol

      • 99whynot99

        To all the haters and wannabees STFU, Chris Brown is saying to all of you kiss his dick Bitches. Im still getting paid n from white hoes too.

      • Yawn

        99whynot a white girl would never touch that piece of shit, our standards are too high thanks!

  25. Richard McBeef

    I would rather him grab his nuts in remembrance of a certain pedophile performer than break down tears as sycophants rush in to suck him off.

  26. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing left he can abuse.

  27. Donald Trump

    I hear he enjoys the threesomes Common and The Game throw in HollyWood.

  28. Chris Brown Today Show
    Donald Trump
    Commented on this photo:

    What a tool. Look at those stupid tats. If he don’t take it up the pooper, IDK who does.

  29. josh

    Is that guy a symptom or a cause of America’s downfall ?

  30. That’s fantastic, Chris Brown. Really fantastic.

    Now fuck off.

  31. Uncle Phil

    (In a very bored voice) Let’s see…uhm, you racist. you never talk about any white celebs like this. Uh, why are you always bringing up that Rihanna stuff? That was two years ago. Don’t hate on Chris. You’re just jealous. Aaand something about keeping it real.

    I think I have covered it all.

    • cc

      thank you im glad somebody pointed it out…if you all hate him so much why are you all still worrying about what he is doing, leave him alone… they are all hater and yea he grabbed his stuff please name one guy that you know that doesnt so this needs to stop for real its pathetic get a life

  32. Allison Wunderlan

    “I’m not TOUCHING my penis…. this IS my penis.”

  33. Angus

    Chris Brown did name his penis Rihanna so he could beat on it regularly.

  34. ATL_Fame

    He’s a disgrace even to the niggahs!

  35. Did he just punch himself in the groin? “oh, now I see why Rhianna didn’t like it!”

  36. Carolyn

    A complete douche.

  37. anonym

    he looks like a monkey

  38. Umm

    This is to whoever runs this site, I can’t understand how you allow so much racist comments on here. You do have black readers and fans of this site. It’s extremely hard to continue feeling comfortable coming here when I see such horrendous things being said. Particularly, Grand Dragon, Venom, and Deacon Jones.

  39. 6foot1athlete

    cause they some bitches in person so they got to do it over the internet fucking white trash

  40. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    its nasty

  41. 6foot1athlete

    internet bitches thats what white trailer trash do hide like hoes he grabbing his lil thang @venom @grand dragon and @deacon jones for them dumpster trash

    • Venom

      What the fuck language are you speaking?
      No wonder you fucking pieces of shit can’t get jobs.

      • 6foot1athlete

        what do you do trailer trash and ill tell you what i do lets see who makes the most trailer trash internet fool

      • 6foot1athlete

        can you say high 6 figures and its nothing i can buy your life fool and still have a whole lot lol fool

      • Venom

        Six figures, that’s it? You must be a pretty shitty athlete if that is all you make.
        My neighbor plays in the NBA and he makes 8 figures annually not including endorsements.
        BTW, he speaks perfect and proper english and carries himself in a proper and behaved manner.
        He moved into my neighborhood so he does not have to live around pieces of shit like you.

      • 6foot1athlete

        stop sucking your neighbors dick were talking about your life see thats what im talking about fucking coward ass white crackers

      • mai

        You’re a stupid dumbass and racism won’t get you nowhere. BTW, I love the fact that our president is one of those fucking pieces of shit that you’re talking about, stupid dumbass.

      • mai

        I’m talking about Venom, whatever that is.

  42. 6foot1athlete

    scary fuck ass trailer trash opps i mean dumpster trash say that shit to a real muthafucka internet dick suckas @venom @grand dragon @deacon jones i knock white trash out like yall everyday its nothing

  43. 6foot1athlete

    and your bitch ass to @anonym thats why your screen name is anonym ur a true trailer trash this chris brown page decicated to all the bitches hiding on the net

  44. Loulou

    He’s got crabs. He’s just scratching away. Get over it. It happens in the best families.

  45. 6foot1athlete

    your a fucking coward you represent all the scary white trash bitch internet bitch

    • 99whynot99

      I love you 6foot1athlete speak your mind. Forget these snowmobiles we’re not going anywhere and they hate it. They want to be us trust me.

  46. carina hawkins

    MAN I LUV YOU BREEZY

  47. 6foot1athlete

    do something useful with yourself other than the internet dumb ass say that shit to a real person go outside and approach a real black person and get knocked out excuse me ko’d

    • Venom

      You are the personification of why the prisons are filled with black men.
      Don’t worry with your stellar education and language skills, you will no doubt be there soon if you have not been a guest there many times before.

      • black man get an education

        Correct. Solving something with violence is the black man’s downfall.You were bred as slaves too be strong, of course you can win in a fight. Can you win with the law and in an argument? Well, not if you can’t speak or write.

      • 6foot1athlete

        A true bitch writing, white ass cracker.

      • mai

        Wow, ignorance will never stop but you talk as if there is no White people in fucking jail, the difference is that those white people use the language to hide what kind of person they are which is FAKE; they act all nice and shit but while you hear about psycho murders going around and psycho people, it’s always the whites, I am not racist but I have to say this, the majority of people that are out there killing and cutting people and whatching people die slowly, all of those stuff are what White people do (not all), and they hide it very well which is why most of the time when they get caught, none of their family members can even believe it, cause they’re FAKE, and Black people are real about their shit..

    • 6foot1athlete

      A true white cracker comment. Stay off the net and get money broke ass white cracker

      • 6foot1athlete

        Celebuzz ain’t paying ya’ll fools get a real job, cracker ass red necks. you can tell the economy fucked up cause red necks, spending they time on the internet. lol!!!

      • Uncle Phil

        The term “redneck” has an interesting etymology. It came about during the coal miner labor struggles in West Virginia during the early 1900′s. As many of the miners took to the hills, fleeing private security and federal troops that had been sent to break up the strikes, they needed a way to know each other on sight.

        Since there was no official miners uniform to distingush them from others in the woods trying to shoot them, they took to wearing red bandanas as a means of identification. The private security and federal soldiers took to calling them “rednecks” as simply a general term for the resistance fighters in the hills of West Virginia.

        Since that time the term has extended to mean any rural white working class people. An interesting book that talks about these times is “The Battle of Blair Mountain.” Neat story, huh? I don’t really know where “cracker” comes from.

      • Black Dragon

        The term “cracker” comes from when a strong brother like my dawg ole 6 1 athlete grabs your punk ass by the neck. It’s the sound that follows.
        Bitch.

      • Uncle Phil

        No, I don’t think that’s it. That doesn’t sound right at all. I’m 6’3″ and 240 even when I’m not on the internet so I doubt it’s my neck making that noise. If you just mean peoples necks in general, maybe. I just don’t know. And I’m really not sure why I’m being called a bitch for knowing stuff, but that’s the internet for you. Spread a little knowledge and this is the thanks I get.

      • mel

        have you lost your fucking mind?! jesus christ! go to work and stop fucking around with the internet. or better yet, go seek some anger counselling you filthy cracker lover!

      • Uncle Phil

        Why do I have to go to work on the weekend? I’m already putting in enough time during the week. What about my little history lesson suggests a need for anger management? I didn’t swear or talk down to anyone.

        Unless you’re not talking to me at all Mel. Then I’ll just be quiet.

  48. flatspottin'

    Yo, is he wearing a bra under that shirt? Because that undershirt does not appear to get lower than his chest

  49. Chris Brown Today Show
    KEISHAV
    Commented on this photo:

    LOved ur perfomance Chris you did a smokin job. Sh*t a lot of people(men) wished they could touch themselves and feel something. LOL

  50. Chris Brown Today Show
    person
    Commented on this photo:

    he is entering bobby brown territory

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