Chris Brown Had A Seizure Because Y’All Be Hatin’

August 12th, 2013 // 36 Comments
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Chris Brown‘s suffered from seizures ever since he was a small boy which technically is something one should be sympathetic to, but hoping he ironically bit his tongue off is a valid response, too. (You can’t see it because you have sin in your heart, but Jesus is nodding in agreement right now. And dunking from half court. DAAAAAAMMNNNN.) Anyway, you’d just assume that a pre-existing condition is explanation enough for Chris having one on Friday except, nope, it’s our fault for judging him for beating Rihanna. I’m not even fucking joking. TMZ reports:

Chris’ rep says the seizure was triggered by “intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity.”

Interesting. I know I’m looking at the words “extreme emotional stress” from “nonstop negativity,” but all I’m reading is, “Chris Brown’s a giant pussy who strokes out at the slightest hint of criticism.” Does that mean I’m dyslexic? Because I hear Scientology can cure that. … It only makes you gay and you start thinking you can fly? Shut the fuck up. Since when?

Photos: Splash News, WENN


  1. JC

    If we hate just a little bit harder, can we make his rectum prolapse?

  2. Just because people are haters doesn’t mean you aren’t an asshole.

  3. RubberBandMan

    Could anyone sink any lower to score some marijuana?

  4. I’ve got an idea. Stop being a complete fucking self-absorbed jackass… it’s a great way to reduce stress – or so I’m told.

  5. Smapdi

    Breezy blaming all his problems on other people? Oh, say it ain’t so! Now, how can we convince him to take up juggling chain saws before his next seizure hits?

  6. Deacon Jones

    We should start digging back up all those DL rumors, icing on the cake!

  7. Hugh Jass

    Have another seizure, asshole. We still hate you

  8. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume he’s paying Tag Team the appropriate royalties.

  9. “nonstop negativity”

    Hmm…know how to make negativity stop? Take your millions of dollars and go the fuck away. Or die. Either is good for me.

  10. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice face.

  11. Whatever happened to rappers being hardass motherf*ckers??
    Look at this douche and Kanye, I’ve never SEEN a pair of bigger douchebag crybabies. This comes from crappy parenting where every indulgence is granted and n o one ever told this little shit stains the truth about how unbelievably mediocre they really were

  12. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “My hole is right HERE!”

  13. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is my smack ‘em face!”

  14. Chris Brown Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Taking a shit on his career or next girlfriend.

  15. so dude how many seizures does it take?
    please keep trying.

  16. More Sir Please!

    If we hated more, would he explode?

  17. anonymous

    Someone should tell Chris Brown that Karma is a bitch. And unlike Rihanna, Karma hits back.

  18. Yup

    Yes, yes, yes, it’s all our faults, for everything bad that’s ever happened to poor little victim Chris Brown. It’s our fault that he beat his girlfriend & then whined about it. It’s our fault he graffitti’d his own home like a dumbass, then lied about painting it over. It’s our fault that he painted his Lamborghini so ugly that nobody wants to be seen anywhere near it. It’s our fault that he can’t go anywhere without throwing punches, then running for cover & ducking behind his huge bodyguards like a pussy. And, it’s definitely our fault that the sissy had a seizure. Oh yeah, definitely our fault…

  19. malaka

    maybe we should all just stop hatin.
    maybe we should just stop paying attention to him all together.

  20. Cock Dr

    These are probably the exact same faces he makes when his anus is penetrated.

  21. Wow look at what we can do if we all band together! Who else can we hate out of the limelight??

  22. cc

    That’s a coincidence…I am frequently seized with the desire to punch him in the face.

  23. Aggie

    Fish, don’t ruin this for me with your medical facts! I was thoroughly enjoying the idea of having contributed to this asshole’s bad health. (Because he’s an unrepentant woman abusing prick with zero talent…..feeling shaky, Chris?)

  24. dennis

    Interesting how this asshole is suddenly “retiring” and having medical issues right before he has to go to court regarding probation violations and possible jail time.

  25. jenn

    If all the negativity we feel towards him could cause anything to happen to him, this whiny bitch would be dead, and burned to ashes.

  26. We all need to be hatin’ some more ’cause his bitch ass is still breathing.

  27. per hansa

    Why is Donald Faison in this picture about Chris Brown?

  28. I could not possibly have caused a seizure by hating Mr.Brown.

    If that was possible he would have had a shitload of seizures by now…

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