Chris Brown’s New Pickup Line Presented By Doutzen Kroes In A Bikini

Full Disclosure: The only way this could even be remotely true is if a.) God exists and b.) he’s funny as shit. Via Us Weekly:

Chris Brown — who pleaded guilty in 2009 for felony assault for hitting then-girlfriend Rihanna — confidently approached an attractive brunette Feb. 10 at the Lasio Professional Hair Care suite Grammy gift lounge and asked her, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!”

While I really, really want to believe this happens, or even that Chris Brown just says “I promise I won’t beat you!” not so much as a pickup line but a disclaimer in general, unfortunately I already know this is exactly the wrong way for him to score chicks. They probably don’t even give him the time of day unless he’s fuming in some corner shaking a fist at them. “I know you didn’t just roll up on me all respectful-like. Uh huh.”

Photos: INFdaily