Seen here laying in bed after having sex with Rihanna in Berlin – which she tweeted – Chris Brown apparently thought it was a good time to remind everyone that he’s and out of control bag of douche-rage who hates women because he started a Twitter fight with comedian Jenny Johnson that ended in him deleting his entire Twitter account after he expressed a desire to shit in her eye, per his mother’s request, which seems almost gentlemanly once you think about it. Via Gawker:
YOU FLIRT!!! RT @chrisbrown: @JennyJohnsonHi5 mom says hello… She told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on the retina,
Of course, this is obviously just deflection from the fact that he has sex with Rihanna then thanks her by making her sleep under his old Bart Simpson blanket. Which I’m almost positive is the worst thing he’s ever done to her. THE WORST THING HE’S EVER DONE TO HER.*
(*This was a joke about how Chris Brown beat, bit and choked the living shit out of Rihanna then left her for dead. Not sure if you heard about that.)
Photo: Splash News
Well, yeah. She’s a woman.
You guys, I retract everything I’ve ever said about Chris Brown. He has clearly matured and changed for the better. We were all wrong in thinking he is a misogynistic, woman-hating cretin. He is clearly articulate, well-versed, and full of self control.
He’s exactly the kind of upstanding, respectful young man every parent dreams their daughter will bring home one day.
My only hope if I have a daughter someday is that enough of today’s young men have learned from the stellar example he has set. I mean, somebody has to teach her not to peep a phone.
The young men of this generation truly are inspiring. And by that I mean they inspire me to climb a clock tower with a sniper rifle and take aim at wherever douchebags congregate.
He’s just misunderstooD!!!!!! PpL can change u kno!!1! If Rih can forGive him, why cn’t u? U r alwys so hard on BReEZy!
Clearly, you picked up that my statement was sarcasm, which is actually quite surprising considering your statement made it crystal clear than you are, in fact, a moron. I don’t think I have once seen a Team Breezy fan write anything in a coherent matter. I feel like you might have called me a cunt somewhere in there, but that’s about all i understand.
*coherent manner
haaahahahaha
I was laughing at the comment by the delightful Meg. :)
Come clean, Cran. You were laughing specifically at Meg’s reading “cunt” in there.
Heehehe I absolutely was, specifically!
I love you, TomFrank!
I’m wondering if my dislikes are from Team Breezy, or if people really think I’m being serious.
Nah, anyone with two brain cells to rub together not only understood you weren’t serious, but enjoyed your richly sardonic comments. I think giving a thumbs down is about all people with the limited intelligence required to be on Team Breezy can accomplish – wiping their own asses is probably not even dreamt of. Obviously any sort of coherency achieved by putting actual vowels in words, let alone knowing just what to capitalize, is far beyond their abilities.
I was confused about the capitalizations as well. It wasn’t even like TB was off by a letter or something. It was random and nonsensical. Do all twelve year old girls like to capitalize random letters? I just can’t keep up with the trends of today’s youth.
Christ, I hope it’s not indicative of today’s youth as a whole. My take is that the fuckwits who idolize him are people with disorganzied, immature and incoherent throught processes, with a skewed version of reality and a desperate need to be “different” – because that automatically means they must be “sPeshuL”, too.
Anytime you’re feeling good about humanity as a whole, just venture to any website or real world place where teenagers hang out, it’ll cure you of that shit real quick.
smartest thing he ever did was deleting that account….
It’ll be back.
No, the smartest thing he has yet to do is off himself.
I can hope, can’t I?
Shit Brown should start commenting on the Superficial.
You can take the…..
Ahhhh…forget it, what’s the point anymore
Thank you guys for understanding that I just want to be free. I yearn for the warmth of a woman’s face, and I have dream’s at night of coiling up around a retina.
Dream’s ?? Grow a brain.
In Poo’s defense, I don’t think turds are known for their brains. I mean, for poop, he seems to be doing pretty well for himself in the intelligence department.
Seriously! That is one smart turd. Punctuation messes everyone up. You go turd!
ChrisBrownOptometrySpecialist -surely his next Twitter incarnation?
Such a hopeless romantic. Can’t believe some good woman hasn’t snatched him up yet. But, I guess it’s hard to act when you’re tied to a burning radiator while he puts cigarettes out on your nipples screaming how much he hates you because you’re so fuckin’ beautiful. The man is a poet.
He also said “ask rihanna if she mad”
Fish, you’re selling this story short. Chris Brown didn’t say he wanted to “shit on a woman’s eye”—he said “shit right on the retina.” So first he’d have to tear her eyeball open and THEN shit. After all, it’s no fun for him unless he beats her eye open with his fists first, right?
Thank you for calling out my real goal, as I pointed out above. The detail is what sets me apart from being just another low-brown poo that enjoys dirty sanchez’s. I am so much more than that, as evidenced by the self-awareness of my host.
Being beaten and left for dead has been #3 on every famewhore’s fantasy list for years, just after vehicular labia slips and ‘accidentally’ leaking a sex tape of you being wee’d on.
“Vehicular labia slips” should be a band name.
I thank the god that doesn’t exist for vehicular labia slips. I’ve seen many a vagina I would never have had the chance to otherwise because of them.
Come one, where’s your sense of vitreous humor? Aqueous humor? Anyone?
I love you.
Silly Chris Brown. There’s no way to shit on a woman’s retina unless you first punch her in the eye until her cornea falls out. Kids today…not even knowin’ how to properly shit on an eye.
I’m surprised he knew a big word like ‘retina’.
It was probably from the Rihanna court case, when presumably he heard “detached retina” more than once.
It was printed on his iPhone box.
he can read. LOL
He should shit in Kim Kardashian’s eye.
After seeing that he deleted his twitter account, Jenny Johnson tweeted “I have no idea who I am either.”
His fans are a real class act, too, judging from having read some of their responses. Humanity should be ashamed.
Team Breezy = morons = unemployment line
Somebody seriously needs to give this pansy asshole a damn good kicking. The fact that the shit-hop “community” of enabling douchebags continue to support this great steaming twat is proof positive that shit-hop needs to die (along with MTV).
While I 100% agree with your statement, I would amend your last word from “MTV” to “BET”. Everyone knows MTV has no relationship with actual music anymore.
MTV brought us Jersey Shore. Just because they don’t show videos anymore doesn’t give them a pass on the decline of cultural standards.
So that’s the dildo he uses to bang women in his pocket, right?
Your attention to detail is astonishingly disturbing
So Rihanna finally poisoned Chris Brown? Nah, who am I kidding? She doesn’t have enough respect for herself to do such a huge favor for her own sake. He probably made her Tweet this pic to let everyone know nice guys will never, EVER, get laid. Ever. Message received!
I got that message a long time ago.
Rihanna fucking Chris Brown has nothing to do with nice guys never getting laid. I don’t understand how or why she’d go back to someone who beat the hell out of her, but don’t turn this into some nice guys don’t get laid bull shit. Real nice guys DO get laid. Guys who only act nice to get laid complain about not getting the girl. And sometimes girls fuck total assholes. That’s life.
Real nice guys? I’m pretty sure that’s an extinct breed.
“Hey, Chris, can I borrow your phone? Mine just died and I need to -”
“. . .”
“I’ll be good.”
Rihanna is attracted to douchebags. I am waiting for the train wreck.
I would like to see her downfall more than his
Looks like Bart Simpson has a blue afro
If only a dude would punch me in the face and shit in my eye…Rihanna is sooo lucky!
I know, it’s like he really, really loves her. Like srsly.
“Row row row your boat . . . “
Take a dump in my eye and call me shitty pirate…
Hollywood, enormous wealth and fame seem to fuel the worst in celebrities, particularly, young celebrities…Drugs, wild parties, clubbing, drunkenness, have, become, the order of the day (or night), in Hollywood…It’s a pity, that, these young, out of control, egomaniacal celebrities don’t learn from their peers, whose lives were destroyed by drugs and/or alcohol…I’m not saying, that, Chris Brown does any of these things, but, given his past high publicized beating of Rihanna, he should think twice, before, saying and/or doing things, which, becomes a cancer to his reputation, and, which, diminishes the respect his fans and the general public, have, for him…He’s a brilliant entertainer, and, should, learn from the personal examples set by one his musical heroes, namely, Michael Jackson.
He deletes his Twitter account because he doesn’t have the vocabulary to respond. Outwitted by a comedian.
Ha.