Just Once Chris Brown Would Like It If Y’All Stop Persecuting Him Like Jesus

February 6th, 2013 // 35 Comments
Chris Brown
What Would Jesus Do?
Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
Fake His Community Service Apparently Read More »

“So you want to have sex with me even though you know I’ll kill you?”
“Uh huh.”
“See? This is exactly what Jesus went through. Exactly.

Yesterday, news broke that Chris Brown allegedly provided the court with fraudulent community service documents that his mom, may or may not, have helped him cooked up because apparently he couldn’t be bothered with the next-to-nothing slap on the wrist the courts gave him for beating Rihanna and leaving her for dead. So he’ll be in court today for that and most likely to have his probation revoked, but in the meantime, he’d like it if you all lay off because his life of untold riches and privileges is “hell” and just once he’d like it if he was rewarded for his good and faithful actions. “Why, Father, why have you forsaken me? I dance so fly!” And if that sounds ridiculous, believe me when I say I’m actually playing it down because his entire Instagram rant that’s since been set to private, but not before TMZ copy and pasted the whole thing:

“I love ya’ll but ya’ll getting repetitive telling me to relax. no I’m not gonna relax. Im makin an album right now … and ya’ll tell me not to pay attention to it. How can I not when it’s on my radio, TV, and everything else … even if I did relax I wouldn’t stop hearing about it .. ya’ll are everything to me ya’ll know this but telling me to ignore it is like telling me to walk around with a blindfold and stick earplugs in my ear .. Im wise I can handle the hate but enough is enough, yo!!

Yes it bothers me but it’s not my main focus! my music is … and when I speak on it .. its because I want people to know how I feel .. yes they talked about Jesus … but “him” I am not him, not even close!!!

Im a human being and I honestly think I deserve respect Im sick of being accused … Im tired yall Just don’t understand Ive been going through this sh*t since I was 19 years old .. You cant sit here and tell me to calm down, when am I gonna get a positive outcome out of anything I do?

When can I get that feed back?

Im TIRED do you read me Im tired!!!!!! Im not gonna sit here and play victim, Im just tired of this shit … I pray every day and night for a new outcome … and just when everythnig seems to be going good some new sh*t happens.

A day in my shoes is a day in hell, believe it or not!

Ya’ll don’t wanna be in my predicament … before ya’ll say Im weak remember what Ive been through … my soul cries for positivity Im not broken I am STRONG …. but being so doesn’t”

Photos: Terry’s Diary


  1. karlito

    if he thinks he’s Jesus would it be OK if we just crucify him and be done with it.

  2. A basketball sized asteroid cannot hit this douche fast enough…

  3. If I ever saw him in person I would honestly say whatever it took to get him to punch me in the face. I would take one for the team (team being decent human beings everywhere) to try to get him locked up. You’re welcome Earth.

  4. Joe

    He MUST be a talented genius because I’ve never seen many of those words and sentence structures he used.

  5. Cock Dr

    He’s a top selling/touring pop artist making big money.
    He bangs a gorgeous hard partying pop tart.
    Aisde from the pop tart he’s got god knows how many groupies on the side.
    He has other people do his community service.
    But still he’s mad.
    Stay away from Douchebag Brown.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      By groupies you mean random dudes that you suck off in public bathrooms.

    • karlito

      @Cock Dr. ….you should really take a look at Rhianna. when she did her “Umbrella” thing i thought she was hot but look at her now. i’ve seen better looking crack-ho’s outside my window.

      • Cock Dr

        She looks pretty hot* to me in those RS pics posted yesterday.
        *ignoring the tats, smoke and fucked up hairdo

  6. Toe Jam

    100 bucks he has a Pokemon tattoo.

  7. Did anyone check to see if his community service reports were signed “Chris Brown’s mom”?

  8. USDA Prime McBeef

    We will look back at the twitter rage and aggression as clear warning signs after Breezy shoots up an all girls elementary school.

  9. StayPUFT Overlord

    All of this bullying is distracting him from killing Rihanna. Ple@se Ya’ll, CAN YOU LET a man focus on his music and killing a butt sex loving woman from Barbados?!

  10. When, oh when, is he going to get a positive outcome? Like millions of dollars from shitty auto-tuned music bought religiously by team breezy bitches that request that you punch them? When????

    Wise indeed.

  11. JC

    Gotta love the fact that his clever scheme to get out of community service probably took more time and effort than just doing the damn community service in the first place.

  12. This rant reads like Kanye West’s caps lock broke.

  13. Smapdi

    As it is awards season, I’m delighted to announce Chris Brown is already the recipient of 2013′s “Lohany” award, an international recognition of self-martyrdom, given to a celebrity who is completely self-destructive, yet at the same time completely incapable of self-blame. The blinged-out crown of thorns award will be sent to Mr. Brown, just as soon as a police search recovers it from Ms. Lohan’s residence.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      Said crown of thorns shall be driven onto his head with a pile driver, just to make sure it stays in place.

      Will no one rid us of this whiny, tattooed little bitch? I don’t care what happens to Rihanna, just let us be rid of him.

    • Tess

      Good one! Love it!

  14. “Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me.” – Chris Brown

    LOL j/k… it was Paris Hilton who said that.

  15. The real victim in all this are the rules of grammar and punctuation.

  16. IAmAGuest

    Here’s a thought:

    Stop breaking the law.

  17. right

    His biggest issue: he’s a repressed homo. That’s right (you dumb) girls. He prefers cawk.

  18. “Im a human being and I honestly think I deserve respect Im sick of being accused”

    1. As a human being, you do deserve respect, Chris.
    2. The accusations have nothing to do with respect, but rather your penchant for busting women’s faces when you get upset that they discover you infidelity.
    3. It’s a good thing other people write your songs.

  19. inkydink

    Dear Chris Brown:
    Drop dead and take that cheap slut with you.


    So just to set the record straight everybody, Chris Brown is NOT Jesus Christ.

  21. anonym

    Does Chris have AIDS?
    looks like he lost a lot of weight

  22. Jade

    Wait.. SissyChrissy takes a man’s parking space. And when he’s told to move his car, he takes two bodyguards with him to jump the owner of the parking space..

    .. and he thinks he deserves respect?

  23. reinhard heidrich

    ugly and stupid even if he was caucasian

  24. Question: What Would Jesus Do?
    Answer: Probably not falsify his community service record.

  25. (to the tune of Bad Bad Leroy Brown)

    You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off the ole Lone Ranger
    And you don’t expect sanity from Chris
    No no no no no

  26. AG

    There aren’t enough words in anyone’s vocabulary to describe how much I despise Chris Brown (& his f*#ked up supporters)

  27. Visible

    Just wow….. You think a day in your life is a day in hell? Are you dying from a terrible, painful disease? Are you watching a loved one die? Do you have a child who’s sick and in pain? Are you starving in a third world country? Do you live in constant fear of death or torture or mutilation in a war-torn country? Are you being slowly worked to death in a sweat shop?

    Wait, wait… You’re telling me that you’re a rich and famous celebrity and got there because you created some songs, sang them for people and danced around for them at the same time? My three old does that everyday and he’s pretty happy. He only gets whiney when he gets time out.
    Like when he went through his hitting stage and got put in the corner, and told “NO” firmly. It was hard, but he learned that you don’t strike another human just becasue you can’t figure out how to balance your emotions, control your impulses, or use your words. But you know, he’s three and he’s learning. I’m sure one day Chris Brown will grow up too, being a singer/dancer is tough work, especially for someone who is also emulating the live of our lord and saviour at the same time, so it takes him longer to learn.

    What in the ever-living fuck is wrong with this twat? Why hasn’t he been tossed in jail? If he had, maybe by now he’d have all this entitlement butt-raped out of him and behave better.

    • Tess

      Good points. Its just goes to show how some in the “entitlement” class have NO concept of what true suffering and hardship is in relation to the daily lives of most of humanity.

      If there is a god please let me never become so clueless.

  28. Los

    well this comment would prove that he is not a Christian? Being persecuted like Jesus comes with the territory, when you are a Christian and all Christians know this….

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