Chris Brown Apologizes, But Not Really

March 24th, 2011 // 51 Comments

After two days of pretending it never even happened, Chris Brown has finally decided to apologize on BET’s 106 & Park last night for losing his shit on Good Morning America and smashing a window in his dressing room. And by apologize, I of course mean go in front of a sympathetic audience and falsely claim GMA ambushed him with questions about Rihanna before essentially saying, “Hey, at least I didn’t beat a woman again.” Via RadarOnline:

“First of all, I just wanna apologize to anybody who was startled in the office, anybody who was offended or really disappointed in my actions, because I was disappointed with the way I acted,” Brown said Wednesday. “A lot of people don’t know what went down, and obviously when I do shows or when I do interviews, we always send out a talking point sheet. As the interview proceeded, it was kinda thrown off. I was thrown off by it.
“I felt like they told us this just so they could get us on the show so they can exploit me. So I took it very, very hard and I really kinda kept my composure throughout the whole interview, although you can see me upset, I kept my composure, I did my performance.”
Brown continued, “And when I got back [stage] I just let off steam. I didn’t physically hurt anyone, I didn’t try to hurt anyone, I just wanted to release the anger that I had inside me because I felt that I worked so hard for this music and I felt like people kept just trying to take it away from me.
“So yes, I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.”

I’d honestly respect Chris Brown more if he’d just came right out and said, “Bitch made me do it.” Just wear that shit on your sleeve, so we can all stop pretending you’re some sort of kind, sensitive artist trying to bring music to the world. It’s not like your fans won’t still buy your albums. In fact, at this point, you could give half of them the Rihanna Special and they’d ask for an autograph afterward. So own that shit. Make it yours. Tell the world you’re Chris Brown and hissy fits are your bag, son. “I wants my cookie AND watch SpongeBob or my fists make your face not grow no more.”

Photos: WENN

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  1. Own that Shit

    Haha…..wear that shit on your sleeve! I’m in love Fish!

  2. Randolph Duke

    this site is bullshit. I WANT TITS AND ASS!!!!!

    • JC

      You do know that the internet is about 98% pornography, right? So if you stumble onto one site that doesn’t happen to have naked chicks that particular day, you have several quadrillion other options?

    • I’d never have known he had an album out, let alone know the name of it, had it not been for the dozen Brown posts here these last few days. But keep giving him the free publicity..

  3. AlexK

    I think this page needs a ban on Chris Brown. Either that or we all need to chip in and hire someone to set his stupid ass on fire.

  4. Robert Acquafresca

    still a douchebag. If they did a Bert and Ernie movie, put those glasses on him and let him play Burt and he can sing “Elmo come take a walk with me”

    See the Signs, they’re everywhere….

    Stop… Get Out…. Smack…. etc etc.

    Then have Ernie, played by Charlie Sheen come out and save Elmo by beating the shit out of him. Justice Done.

  5. RoboZombie

    God what a DOUCHE! He’s starting to sound like that crybaby Kanye now.

  6. Cock Dr

    Douchebag Brown was probably on a hair trigger that morning because he hadn’t had a recent thorough anal stretching.
    Douchebag has needs, doncha understand?

    • Dan

      Cock Dr, I LOLed at this.

      • Cock Dr

        It’s so simple really.
        Anyone booking douchebag Brown needs to have a very well endowed gay volunteer at the ready.
        As soon as douchebag arrives at venue, give douchebag the anal stretching.
        Douchebag will be much calmer and the moonwalking can proceed without the window breakage & yelling.

    • vitobonespur

      Hey…hey…hey…that’s MISTER Douchbag Brown to you! What’s a fucker gotta do to get a little respect?

  7. That's Retarded

    That’s Retarded

    • You should really stop using the word “retarded”! Its really offensive to parents with kids who have special needs. Bye golly

      • RoboZombie

        Who is golly and why are you wishing him or her a fond adieu?

      • saphkilla

        sarah……being a parent to a retarded kid, I find no offense in the usage of the word. as a matter of fact……retarded, retarded, retarded……last time I checked retarded meant that an individual was stunted in development in comparison to others, or that the growth of a plant, cell…..etc….had stopped before it could reach the full potential……SICK of all this pantywaisted language….developmentally delayed…..fuck that, my kid is RETARDED…..and i am damn proud if it. people need to quit having such intense feelings about shit that doesn’t matter in the long run.

  8. me

    Surely somebody coached him what to say, but it was the “right” thing to do.

  9. Anon

    I don’t know what Chris Brown’s music sounds like, but I’m betting it’s just a long remix of Rihanna’s crying and punching sound effects like from a comic book.

  10. Rancid

    So, according to fey dude, beating up someone half your size is wrong (except when they “make” you do it), but property damage is peachy?

    I call upon someone to take a crowbar to his favorite ride. Y’know, just to let off some steam. As this punk homo kid would say, “Itz all good!”

  11. bitingontinfoil

    Wow, he really learned a lot from that “anger management” class huh? Wonder how the people on the street would’ve felt having that glass rain down on them? Next time you have a temper tantrum, do us all a favour and pick the biggest, baddest, ugliest security dude and “release your anger and frustration” on *him* Pansie-assed woman beating turd.

  12. Deacon Jones

    Does any self respecting hip hop fan like him after seeing the Pokemon jacket?

    • Anon

      That question is too complex for hip hop fans to comprehend, so they’re going to take offense to it, ya heard? Recognize.

    • Chris Brown Likes it in the Corn Chute

      Yeah, because his idiotic behavior, wearing untied work boots and Urkel glasses with no lenses, beating women to a pulp, and having sex with men hasn’t deterred his ‘self respecting fans’, but sure, the pokemon jacket should be the clincher. He could wear a Hello Kitty sundress, punch a Nun in the mouth, and have butt sex with Justin Beiber on his next GMA appearance, and the same idiots will still run out and buy his crap ‘music’.

    • I don’t think any real hip hop fan is in to Chris Brown. That show he is on is for little teenage girls and teenage boys who wear skinny jeans. Just look at the pic at the top of the page and see the boy in the right hand corner. That is not your real hip hop fan right there.

    • Deacon Jones

      lol, you’re right.

      But it looks like a dyke…

  13. Jules

    He goes on about how he’s all about “forgiving all my enemies”, then he can barely wait to get off camera before trying to throw a chair through a window, not caring who he hurts in the fallout. Yeah, he’s in a real zen place. Anger management classes been berry berry good to him.

  14. brit

    Yes, Chris, I think I know “what went down”…
    A uneducated douche by the name of Chris Brown who has anger management issues once again could not control himself.
    And your music still sucks.
    And I could whip your ass at basketball.

  15. Annie from Fremantle

    so much for the therapy… you might want to wipe your arse with your ‘anger management course’ certificate. That’s all it’s good for Chris.

  16. Dan

    I understand you Chris. I hate it when someone questions me about actions I have done in the past so I simply have to throw a chair through a window.

    Guys like you and me don’t get no respect.

  17. skygirl

    has anyone noticed the weird looking guy/girl (cant tell) behind cris brown. creepy, its like that person admires him and is wearing those ugly glasses and clothes imitating him. gross…..

  18. Tiffany

    ANYWAY!!!! Y is GMA asking ?’s about somthing that happenede 2 years ago? Can we step up the journalist skills please? That interview was very ammature. NO OTHER SHOW he has been on asked him about that, and he has been on a lot of shows and interviews. If his ass was white they would not have asked about that CRAZY girl….Ask her has she ever hit him? Dont hit anybody unless you are ready to get hit back and I teach my daughter AND 2 sons that!!!

    • Let’s face it, punching out Rhianna is what Chris is famous for…why WOULDN’T they talk to him about that? It would be like interviewing William Shater and only talking to him about blueberry pie recipes.

    • The Critical Crassness

      It’s obvious why you want “All yall who are not Chris Brown fans to get off the comment page, Tiffany. And trying to mislead us by posting shit about teaching your daughter and 2 sons something isn’t working….your just a wanna be with a wet pussy for Chris Brown. Now,STFU and let the real adults talk.

    • uncle phil

      “if chris brown was white”?! so robin roberts is the racist setting him up? i’m very confused by this logic.

      and as an aside: maybe try teaching your kids not to hit anyone, period, instead of tacking on those qualifiers. just throwing that out there.

  19. CC

    My hafrican. Who is this douche?

  20. Yo… people who don’t wanna’ see a raging asshole, I’mma’ let you finish…

  21. ny*ny

    “I felt that I worked so hard for this music and I felt like people kept just trying to take it away from me.”

    Ummm… shouldn’t you be in JAIL?? Biting someone and hitting them when they’re 3 inches from your fist is unacceptable and I can’t wrap my head around people sticking up for this loser and actually playing his music on the radio!
    If I were his judge 2 years ago …. life without parole!!!! hah
    he just sickens me

    • miss piggy

      Yeah dude. Why Russel Simmons, Jay Z, and Kanye (but who respect Kanye really) stick up for him, I can’t understand. Its kinda equivalent to them condoning abuse

  22. Oh Chris, I’m not disappointed in you. I would have had to have some respect for you for that to have happened.

  23. miss piggy

    Fish, you rule so hard for not letting up on this little boy.

    Chris Brown’s own actions demonstrate has immaturity problems so severe he represents a physical danger to those around him.

  24. Chris Brown Apology
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris Brown is obviously an inspiration to the urban youth of America. Why that dashing lad wearing the necklace made of brass knuckles tells me his “message” is getting out there. Sweet Lordie, there IS hope! Even an “Erkel” can aspire to “Smack a Bitch Up”… You just have to have the right tools…

  25. Mandy

    “I just wanted to release the anger that I had inside me because I felt that I worked so hard for this music and I felt like people kept just trying to take it away from me.”

    People go through so much worse in the world without acting like children throwing temper tantrums. He has the nerve to try to justify his actions because people are trying to take his music away?? This kid is fucking ridiculous. Honestly, he just makes me sick. I feel really bad for his “fans” who don’t even realize what a horrible person he is.

  26. Marco

    Since when did “musicians,” many of them black, start dressing like dorks from the 80s?

    Damn I am getting old.

  27. Chris Brown Apology
    Commented on this photo:

    that is the worst finger mustache i have ever seen

  28. Shock and Awe

    So I had a job interview the other day where the interviewer kept asking me questions that made me uncomfortable. Like, pushing and pushing for more and more details about my past and what I did in various situations!! And I really don’t like those questions.

    And then, after all that, they still didn’t offer me the job!

    Assholes! Thanks to Chris, I now know what to do: throw a chair through their window and throw a hissy fit. I’m excited to have this opportunity to express myself and just move forward from my past.

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