He’s giving the thumbs up! ‘Tis devilry!
For those of you with jobs that don’t require you to stare into the empty, depressing abyss that is network television, Chaz Bono, the transgender daughter turned son of Cher and Sonny Bono, has been cast on this season’s Dancing With The Stars prompting all kinds of awesome comments on ABC’s message boards. Via Associated Press:
One called the casting choice “disgusting” and said “ABC should be ashamed of theirselves for harassing mainstream Americans and Christains.” (sic)
While Cher has already come to her son’s defense despite the fact 99.9% of all Internet commenters are assholes – The .1% that aren’t? (Or okay, are, but are hilarious about it.) The Most Important People On The Internet! Every Saturday on The Superficial. Bring the kids. – I thought it’d be fun to take a look at some of the previous casting choices that apparently weren’t a vast conspiracy to piss in the face of Christians, but we’re an acceptable part of a wholesome family evening watching Hollywood celebrities wear lavish gowns in pursuit of wealth, as Christ would’ve wanted it:
Shannon Elizabeth – Naked Person
Shanna Moakler – Exposed Carrie Prejean As A Massive Hypocrite
Kim Kardashian – Porn Star/Urinal
Lance Bass – Gay Person
Holly Madison – Porn Star/Former Live-In Prostitute
Pamela Anderson – Porn Star
Kelly Osbourne – Likes Drugs, British
The Situation – Typhoid Mary
Kendra Wilkinson – Porn Star/Former Live-In Prostitute
While we’re on the subject, people often wonder why I make fun of Christians instead of Muslims, and there’s really a simple answer for that: Muslims aren’t the majority religion/political power in America who perpetually get their labia twisted because they’ve yet to realize their two thousand year old book of fairy tales is horseshit and leaves them ill-equipped to deal with the real world. So maybe this will help. Here are things that happen in reality and the sooner you accept them and recognize science wasn’t the writers/editors of the Bible’s strong suit, we’ll be a richer nation for it, and you can stop getting your delicate fee-fees hurt:
1. Evolution is a fact.
2. People are born gay and/or transgender. And hopefully this doesn’t come out wrong, but sometimes people are born with the wrong parts and require a little fix. Like babies with tails. Whoops! Sorry, but fortunately advances in science are here to help.
3. Man-made climate change is a fact. We’re beating the shit out of the Earth, and Jesus isn’t coming back to scoop us up, so it’s a big fucking deal.
Now that’s harassing Christians. Because they’re wieners.