Charlize Theron not a Bond girl

December 20th, 2005 // 14 Comments

*charlize_theron_thumb2.jpgThe new James Bond film is facing a girl crisis after actress Charlize Theron turned down a role in Casino Royale. The way I see it, It’s only a matter of time before their successive failures in casting the Bond girl role lead them to cast Ricky Martin as a Bond boy in Brokeback Royale: Shaken, not Stirred.

Theron is the latest actress to refuse the chance, following Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and Kimberley Davies, reports The Sun. The Bond producers have only a month left to finalise the female lead of the film, as its release date is in the fall of 2006.

I haven’t seen a James Bond film since somewhere around the dawn of color tv, but I’m guessing that the reason they’ve had so much trouble finding a Bond girl is that the new Bond guy, Daniel Craig, looks like a cross between James Woods and my testicles. He better be a terrific actor, because right now I have a hard time believing he’d be able to seduce the fat russian chick working third-shift at the local 7-11, let alone a supermodel.


  1. stoplookingatme

    Isn’t James Bond supposed to be a sexy man of mystery? When I see Daniel Craig, the only mystery to me is what and how many drugs the casting director(s) were on when they threw HIS name in the hat… and then drew it. Someone must have lost a bet. And now we all have to take one for the team.
    I can’t say I blame these actresses for passing on the opportunity to make sexy with Craig – even if it IS ‘acting’ it’s just gross. Maybe Sienna Miller’s career is looking up… she is (or was?) willing to sleep with him for free, so it wouldn’t be a stretch for her.

  2. Mistake #1 was not hiring Clive Owen as Bond. It all trickles down from there.


  4. hafaball

    There’s no reason for remaking casino royale anyway. People didn’t really like it too much then, and that was with Peter Sellers, why would people want to see it now? Espeically with this guy, who looks about as funny as a horse pooping. Wait…that is kind of funny. Well, just think of something very unfunny, snd that’s the guy.

  5. Binky

    Elton John ! He’s a natural !! He’s English. He likes dressing up. And soon he’ll be playing casinos.
    Besides, I heard his partner is gay and he’d probably like the ’00′ type better – the Saturdays could be free for fighting till the bitch gets back etc. It’s a natural role both on and off stage.

  6. HollyJ

    “…James Woods and my testicles.” BA HA HA!!! I love this site ((((((superficial)))))

    Who the hell bothers to see Bond movies anymore? I think the next one should be called entitled “007: Harder To Kill Than A Retrovirus”

  7. andrewthezeppo

    Good for her, maybe she can spend her time making Mighty Joe Young 2 intead

  8. stupida

    It’s a Bond movie. Tits falling over themselves to jump in bed with a spy with lame lines. I’ll be surprised if they can find anyone other than Hilton or Tara Reid, these days. Maybe they can get some aging has-been like Shannon Dougherty to put on a see through dress and some heels and folks will forget long enough for her to get naked. Maybe Mariah will do it for Krispy Kremes.

  9. Leya

    I guess none of you have seen Layer Cake. He’s a very good actor. I think they’re trying to bring back the British in the Bond. He’s a very British choice, great actor, not classicly handsome, but does have some appeal (it’s all in the acting). In that movie he does bag Sienna Miller.


    yea i agree.
    fran drescher.

    or the all new.
    anna nicole smith.
    with dark hair of course.

  11. cherree

    you know who it’s going to be? Jessica Simpson. Yeah. After everyone else refused, they’re going to call her, and she’s going to say yes. I’m not even kidding. And then she’s going to come up with a new line of sunglasses to sell.

  12. AD

    Haven’t seen Layer Cake…

    but I saw him in two other films, and I hated him in both. He’s not sexy, and he sure had no appeal in them. I can only hope this ‘Layer Cake’ is a holy grail of some sort, that forever transformed him into.. someone else. :|

  13. drowningfool

    They should get Heath Ledger to play the next Bond girl, and make it a cumm-ing out party. That new Bond definately looks more gay than straight, and we all know Heath Ledger’s a sport…what with that sleeping bag scene in “Broken-Back Mountain” and all….

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