To All The Idiots Who Were Ready To Vandalize A School Because Charlie Sheen Told You To

Late Wednesday night/Thursday morning Charlie Sheen went on a Twitter rant where he literally instructed his nine million followers to vandalize an elementary school because he claims his daughter Sam was bullied and they had to pull her out. Which a surprising amount of you who I assumed were smarter than this responded with, “Yeah, show that school!” and “Sign me up!” because apparently you’re fucking morons who somehow still think the “MaSheen” is #WINNING. So fun fact: turns out Sam hasn’t even been at that school since March 2012 which means Denise Richards already handled it like an adult an entire year ago by peacefully taking her tuition money elsewhere. Fortunately, the school didn’t have to beef up security and have cop cars outside all day yesterday to protect innocent kids from crazy people except, oh, wait, that’s exactly what happened. TMZ reports:

The rep says, “The parent of a former Viewpoint School student who has not attended Viewpoint School since March, 2012 has made certain accusations in the media … Our administrators addressed the issue appropriately [last year].”
The rep adds, “Our School takes accusations of bullying very seriously. For over 50 years, Viewpoint School has provided a safe and nurturing environment for our students to thrive, and we will continue to do so.
Viewpoint isn’t taking any chances with security though … there’s a large security presence outside as well as a police car.

You’d just assume at this point Charlie Sheen would’ve realized he fucked up here, but that would require his manic episodes to not last an entire month, so naturally he he doubled down:

Charlie goes on … his anger has been at a slow boil for months [12 to be exact – SW] and he just couldn’t stand it anymore and that’s why he waited, adding, “There’s no statute of limitations on bullying.”
As for why the dog poop … Charlie said “They [Viewpoint officials] needed a visual reminder not to forget the epidemic of bullying.”

I’m not even going to point out the irony that inciting nine million people to attack an elementary school – especially in this climate – is so far beyond bullying it’s practically terrorism, and simply make sure everyone knows that this whole episode started because Charlie Sheen snorted coke out of a hooker’s ass and went, “Wait, I’m mad about that school thing now.” This wasn’t about justice or bullying or even a parent standing up for his child, it was CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY! MUST DO SOMETHING CRAZY! So try and remember that the next time you find yourself gripping a dog turd outside of an elementary school because, “Dude was the MAN in Major League,” you goddamn idiots.

Photos: Splash News