Charlie Sheen Really Wants To Have Sex With Denise Richards Again

June 6th, 2012 // 24 Comments
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Stop me if you heard this story before: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get married. Girl falls out of love because boy goes apeshit over baby formula. Boy and girl divorce. Girl starts playing nice with boy for sake of children. Boy wants to fuck girl again but girl’s still using children’s books to explain why daddy believes he’s an F18 and throws ladies in the dumpsters. If you have, then welcome to Charlie Sheen‘s latest interview with Rolling Stone where he openly professes to wanting to bang Denise Richards who, in his defense, probably can’t read:

On all that Denise Richard stuff I just said:
“Do I want to? Yeah! Does she? Don’t know.”

On how he was absolutely not winning and you were an idiot if you believed he was:
“Clearly, a guy gets fired, his relationships are in the toilet, he’s off on some fucking tour, there’s nothing ‘winning’ about any of that. I mean, how does a guy who’s obviously quicksanded, how does he consider any of it a victory? I was in total denial.”

On his foot fetish because apparently porn stars with the body of small boys and vaginas that looked like it survived Chernobyl isn’t enough:
“I’ve not dated girls because of their feet, just the length of certain toes and the shape of where things should be and they’re not. Hammertoes are bad. And the second toe being too long? That’s bad, too.”

Wow, what a completely rational statement. “I don’t date women because of their feet, that’s craziness. What I do do is systematically weed them out by the length of their toes, and if it’s too long, I wear nothing but a wide-open smoking jacket and chase them around my house firing a musket at them. I’m just a normal guy, you know?”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, LEON/AKM-GSI

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  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    sweet misinterpretation of the foot fetish quote, fish.

  2. Clarence Beeks

    I agree with him about the icky second toe being long……hahahaha

    • *checks my toes*

    • kimmykimkim

      Yeah, I agree. Freaky long second toe is so gross. I mean, I can kinda handle it on men, because, well you’re lucky if that fucker will clip his own toenails but women, it’s really unfortunate. My ex-boyfriend had the same issue with toes. Luckily, I don’t have funky feet, but he sucked in bed, so…

  3. herbiefrog

    together they created two very cute baby girls…

    why wouldn’t one want to make more ?

    denise and charlie : ))

  4. Denise Richards Cleavage White Tank Top LAX
    flabbergast
    Commented on this photo:

    You may see Denise Richards…. I just see a decent rack

  5. YoMamma

    I love how he looks like he’s slept in a port-a-pot for at least 6 months and has the audacity to judge a woman by her 2nd toe. Classic Sheen.

  6. El Jefe

    He looks like he is going to die, but then again so do Keith Richards, Mick Jagger and a whole bunch of others and they have looked so for the last 30 years, so…

    They need to just bring him back and send that douchebag Kutcher back to obscurity.

  7. Sheen has returned to sanity. I am totally on board with the past-Sheen hanging out w/Fleiss girls and ordering 8-balls and the current-Sheen dismissing girls by the looks of their feet. It’s the mid-Sheen tiger blood, “winning” one that was insane.

  8. dooood

    remember that reality show she had? and i forget who it was, i think it was conan who would read the ‘ : ‘
    so he would refer to her show as –
    ‘denise richards colon it’s complicated’

  9. hh

    I am a female with ugly feet and it never stopped me from getting laid. I just don’t wear sandals or open toe shoes. Keep that shit covered up. If the rest of you looks good any normal guy isn’t going to care about the feet.

    • Schmidtler

      most normal guys aren’t famous, don’t have 5 mansions, planes full of cocaine and piles of money. Sheen just got $100 million from his last show, in addition to everything they paid him when he was on it, and now has a new show. He can be picky about women’s toes.

    • SuperflyTnT

      If that were true, why is there a need to “Keep that shit covered up”

  10. Denise is one of the sexiest women in history. I dare say 99% of available heterosexual men want to sleep with her.

  11. Dannuuuu

    At least we now have confirmation that Denise Richards’ feet are perfect. F-ing perfect.

  12. King Diamond

    I’m totally with him on the feet thing. I’ve passed on girls because of the feet thing and if they are dirty disgusting smokers.

    Any girl out there who thinks they are hot, but have ugly feet? Either get surgery to fix your feet or just kill yourself. Theres no point in continuing.

    I’m eddy murphy in Boomerang.

  13. Louise

    Hm, ugly feet aren’t exactly helped by walking around in stilettos day-in, day-out, (pretty much compulsory if you’re Charlie’s type of woman).
    The long second toe is a condition called Morton’s Toe, though some say it’s prevalent enough to be “normal” (thanks, Wikipedia). Bad luck, Charlie.

  14. Well, I think he is winning. If he’s a loser, I would sure like to be one too. Oh, wait, I already am.

  15. Aj

    But Chris brown gets tormented.. Wow white privilege is a diesease

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